Quick, need a little advice,Am I wrong?

Question

See, I recently broke up with a girl I love. I left because I couldn't relax and trust her, I kept questioning her at every turn. Not to mention, she has two beautiful girls that called me "dad", and hearing me yell at there mother over and over about nothing, wasn't healthy. Now I 'm also taking physical custody of my daughter back, she apparently is donig everything I taught her NOT to do(lieing, talking abiut people behind there back etc.) but it seems the more I try and do right by my daughter and my ex and her girls, it seems my ex is getting angrier. Right now I'm just trieing to sort things out so that I can be happy, but also so I can be the MAN I need to be for myself,my ex, and all three of the children. Is that wrong

Answer 1

Well you didnt trust the girl you loved, because you dont trust yourself. Your jealous and over bearing. Stop it right now or you will never be happy. Your little green demon will cost you alot more than a girl friend if you dont get rid of it. Start praying.

Answer 2

You are not wrong in trying to better yourself and striving to do good by all the people in your life, but I think I understand why your ex keeps getting angrier. I too was a single mom and it was very important to me to find a good father figure to my children, and when I did I could not ask for more in life. She obviously still cares for your but more importantly her children care about you enough to call you dad. That is huge, especially to your ex. When you walked out, it may have hurt her but it hurt her worse to know her children hurt and they were once again without a father figure. It was not fair to anyone that the relationship seems to have deteriorated over unnecessary jealousy. I think that this is an issue that needs to be resolved between the two of you (not only the jealousy but I was referring to the final straw that broke off the relationship).
Keep on improving yourself, but realize that as you do your ex will notice and think of things how they could have been. Try to help her with that, it's a hard one.

Answer 3

Hi there,

You didn't mention the ages of the children. It is probably a wise thing to do by seeking out a Family Therapist for your child. The therapist almost always talks with one or ( preferably ) both of the parents whether they live together or not.
Honesty about yourself is extremely important during your sessions. They can't help you if your not truthful. They are not there to judge anyone. And finding a good therapist is paramount. Lying is a very hard habit to break.
Somehow you need to discuss with and make her understand there is always consequences to face sooner or later by lying. It always catches up to you. And no one wants a friend whose a liar. Can you blame them?
That should get you started for now in hopefully a positive direction. There needs to be some form of punishment every time you catch her lying. That I will leave up to you.

I wish you all the best,

Marseille

Answer 4

Well if you can't trust someone then you shouldn't be with them, it is healthier for everyone. Your daughter is going to need a girl around, somehow someway. She needs a mother and a father, your ex is upset. Why wouldn't she be, you say you love her yet you broke her heart. You didn't love her, you can't love someone you can't trust. You say the best for yourself, you're going through a selfish phase. Sort it out or move on. Because there are children involved then the situation is very complicated. If you want to love her, you have to learn to trust her if you can't do that then all you're doing is putting all of them unneccesary heartache. So good luck babe!

Answer 5

Your getting your little girl back, my suggestion would be concentrate on that. Deal with your personal relationship after you and your daughter get used to living together, in other words give it a few months or however long it takes to build that trust level back with your daughter before you bring other people into her life. Your ex and her daughters have a bond that not even you could break, you need that with your daughter, not that it's a competion. It's hard enough for your daughter to get used to living in a new place, but she does not need to live with an unhealthy relationship such as you and your ex's. Try to be friends untill you get your stuff together with your daughter.Good luck.

Answer 6

You sound as though you are trying to get it all together to be the man you should be.
Your first responsibility is to your daughter. Your biological daughter. You must make a good life for her, and set a good example for her.
If you can't get along with your ex, even though you may love her, then it isn't healthy for her girls. You may just be in love with the way you see things as they might have been.
It sounds as though you have a deep bond with her daughters. It will be hard to cut that bond, but again, your daughter is primary in your life now. Take care of her, and the rest will fall into place.

Answer 7

No its not wrong, i think your daughter is just growing up, remember when your dad said don't do this and you did it for no good reason well you are standing in your dad's shoes, and about the women that you left, if she doesn't comprehend what you are going through then she should because its really hard to find ones self when you cant even think, but remember when you've been married and have kids you will always have problems with your girlfriend or new wife about your ex-wife. good luck.

Answer 8

I think the grown ups should act grown up and put their little arguments and aditudes aside. Be the Man for those three kids, you can't be in control of everything and you will never be watching you girl all the time . So just drop the jealousy issue before it messes your whole life up. Talk to her tell her to ease your mind thats all, if you can't trust her you don't truly love her, you are just attached Just remember that only time can solve things...

Answer 9

Do what you gotta do. Your daughter and you should come first. If you're gonna be fighting all the time that isn't healthy for anybody. Move on. You have the right idea. The fighting will never stop. I wasted 30 years fighting. Get out while you can.

Answer 10

Sounds like your on the right track. Your doing what makes you happy and focusing on things that need your attention now. I hope you get your daughter back. And as far as your ex goes why is she angry? Cuz your trying to get your daugther back and trying to do right seems like you need to sit her down and yaw talk about this befor yaw get back together. Im glad your trying to do right she should be happy. Good luck with everything