today i came out to my two best friends(both male). and one took it fine but the other that ive known a lot longer is acting strange he said he didnt want to accept it and that might not wanna be my friend anymore please help!!!
2007-02-11 14:56:41 · 17 answers · asked by j_man2444 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Give him about 2 weeks. He should be able to accept it by then. Maybe you can get your friend that is okay with it to talk with him. If you are wondering why he is acting this way it could be:
-He himself is homosexual. Being associated with you may "out" him.
-He is religious and his religion is against it.
-He is straight but doesn't want to appear gay to his family, other friends or the public eye.
-He was raised to be anti-gay.
What can you do?
-Tell him that you didn't choose to be gay and being "normal" would be nice, but you are not "normal".
-If he accepts you then you can be his friend. If ya'll "joked around" like many teens do, he might not be as comfortable with that. Keep your hands to yourself.
-If he doesn't accept you, he was never a true friend in the first place.
Oh and certianly, last but not nearly least... CONGRADULATIONS!
2007-02-11 15:23:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you know that's why some are not open about it. I had a friend (past tense has nothing to do with his sexuality.) who I truly believe is gay but hasn't come out mostly, I think, because his family just would not want to accept it. It seems to work for him. It didn't work for you but that doesn't mean that everyone is going to be cool with it. He may need time and eventually reassurance that you being gay doesn't change anything about your friendship. He may never come around, though, and you may just have to accept it as a trade off for not having to hide who you are any longer. After all, if he was your friend because he thought you were someone who you are not, that's not really a friend at all. Good luck!
2007-02-11 15:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time, some space, let him get used to it...chances are you've freaked him out a little, either because he thinks you are going to now want to get in his pants (it's amazing how many straight people thing we all want to get in their pants...), or because he is struggling with his own sexuality. Or, just for the fact that he doesn't understand, and people are afraid of what they don't understand.
You've done everyone a favor by being true to yourself...hopefully having a gay friend will make him a little less conservative, but if not, be glad that you have a friend that gets it.
2007-02-12 04:59:23 · answer #3 · answered by IamBatman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend may just need a little time. You've had a long time to deal with it and to think about when you wanted to say something. Give him some time to react.
Let him know how much his friendship means to you, of course. But if he still doesn't come around, you will make new friends. Now that you're in the open, you can pursue more friends that you know will be accepting.
2007-02-11 15:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by S Q 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay. If your friend can't accept you for who you are than he's not a friend. But if your heart is set on keeping him for a friend, then assure him your not going to hit on him and things like that. Getting used to it will take a while though, it is kind of a major shock...
2007-02-11 15:10:32 · answer #5 · answered by nerdsinlove92 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give him time and space to get used to it. You dropped a bombshell on him and it takes a day or two to let it sink in. If he doesn't come around, move on. You deserve friends who like you for everything you are. You can do better.
2007-02-11 15:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by Elaine 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
he needs a little time to sort things out. Let him soak it in for a little bit. Even ask your other friend to talk to him about it. In time he will see you are the same person.
2007-02-11 15:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you were the same guy before he found out as after he found out!
Then drop it, like the others said, its his problem from then on!
Best of luck though!
2007-02-11 15:11:43 · answer #8 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time to absorb what you've told him. And if it turns out that he cannot, then make him history.
2007-02-11 15:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by castle h 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just live him alone for a while, he is not sure of himself, if the friendship is deep, he will com back other wise it wasn't wort it.
2007-02-11 15:02:33 · answer #10 · answered by santa s 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋