Should I ask for child support?

Question

My divorce decree states that my ex husband should be paying $606/month in child support for my 3 daughters that I have never received. Part of the reason I didn't enforce it was because he was in and out of jail for about a year. He has since gotten out of jail and moved back in the area so he "claims" to be closer to his girls which he doesn't see or even call. He calls me at work constantly seemingly more concerned about my life than the girls life. When I ask him why he hasn't called them like he has promised several times he says, "oh I'll call them now, or I'll call this weekend" and never does. I also asked him when was the last time he talked to his older son that he has with another woman and he laughed and said' "yesterday" this infuriated me that he can find time to talk to his son but not my girls. I feel I have been way to nice and its time to strip him of his parental rights or enforce the child support order.

Answer 1

i am sorry you have to deal with someone like this, but you need to stand your ground and be strong; you kids depend on you doing so.

todays courts wont strip him of his rights, but sounds like you have grounds for 'sole'custody (because of his jail/criminal record). that is where he has nothing but visitation, and beleive me, they dont bother.

yes, you should push the issue of child support, he's been running around free as can be while you worry about the light bill. push it and get it. even if you dont, it adds up. he has to pay something, and since he doesnt do anything else for them in their lives, its the least he can do... in my opinion.

here are some links; just click on your state and find what you need regarding custody, visitation, child support.

the last few are to help you.
mom of 4

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/collectchildsupport

http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states.htm
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html

http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/

http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html

FIND YOUR STATE REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp

http://www.womenslaw.org/
http://www.nwlc.org/
http://www.womenslawproject.org/
http://www.nwwlc.org/
http://www.women-law.org/
http://www.hg.org/women.html
http://www.law.com/jsp/nj/specials.jsp?p=contact
http://law-library.rutgers.edu/ilg/njlaw.php
http://www.aclu.org/womensrights/index.html
http://www.hud.gov/offices/pih/programs/hcv/about/fact_sheet.cfm
http://www.hud.gov/offices/pih/programs/hcv/forms/index.cfm
http://www.hud.gov/offices/pih/pha/contacts/
http://www.singlemoms.org/info/main.htm
http://www.singlemotherresources.com/
http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/njcomputerchick
http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/chapterfind.asp
http://www.mowaa.org/
http://modestneeds.org/
http://freecycle.org/
http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/www_usn.nsf
http://www.redcross.org/where/chapts.asp

Answer 2

Yes, it is time to enforce the order. It does not matter if he is in and out of jail. Whatever he is entitled to pay will go into "arrears" if he does not pay it and even once your girls turn 18, he will still be responsible for that back money. Stop being nice to him, that money belongs to you and your daughters, I say you because you are the one providing everything for them. So do whatever you have to. People will take advantage of you if they think they can. Just show him that you mean business!! Another thing, I am not saying that you do this but don't tell your girls that there dad is going to call or come by and see them. In fact, don't mention him if at all possible. That really hurts them. Give them the opportunity to form there own opinion. They don't need to hear you bad talk there dad.

Answer 3

You shouldn't have to deal with him at all. Get a lawyer. If you feel you cannot afford one, well, you can't afford not to have one. All dads should have to follow the court appointed child support. You can have this taken out of his paycheck directly in many states. His being in/out of jail should be of no concern. The money isn't for you, it's for your girls and will help provide the things they need. Do not talk to him on the phone. Tell him that you are not going to discuss anything with him that is not involving child visits. Be firm. Ignore all comments and hang up if he will not talk about child visits or payments. Do not take his calls. You might also get help from support groups. Check a phone book or call your local health department and ask them for information on where women can seek help.

Answer 4

Don't try to strip him of his parental rights. Just because he has been awarded visitation doesn't mean he HAS to take it but if he has been ordered to pay child support then he HAS to pay it. That includes any back chld support. So hell hes I'd be in court demanding what was owed to the children. It wouldn't make any difference to me whether he visited them or not. THAT much is up to him, the child support is up to YOU to get the courts to enforce, by stripping of his parental rights you could also be stripping your daughters of child support WHY on earth would you WANT to do that? They are probably better off not seeing him any way considering his jail record.

Answer 5

Don't strip him of his paternal rights, that will only alienate you from your daughters. But, you definitely should have the child support order enforced. It isn't a question of being nice or mean, it is a question of your children's welfare. And that amount a month for three kids ain't even close to enough to support them halfway.

Answer 6

Go for the child support . The guy sounds like he wont's you back and not thinking about the kids . But i think you should let him see his kids its not the kids fault and that's kind of what you will be doing in a round about way is making the kids suffer unless they don't wont to see there dad.
My XS wife don't pay crap and I really don't care because I have more then she. Any time she wont's she can see the kids like i say its not the kids fault they didn't make the mess that's between me and the XS . the kids really are Innocent

Answer 7

It is well past time for him to antiy up and support his children. It makes me so mad to see a man (and women too for that matter) to think that they shouldn't have to share in the responsibilities of raising their children. By all means enforce those support orders. My ex just spent time in jail for not paying his. Now his wages are attached and he never gets a chance not to pay it. His employer takes it out automatically. It sounds to me like he has no intention on spending time with his kids. And he may not be talking to his son he may just be saying that to get on your nerves. Take him back to court and do everything in your power to make him have to pay. Good luck hon.

Answer 8

Certainly enforce the child support order and stop taking his calls at work. He needs to be at HIS job earning the money to meet his financial obligations!
Don't tell the girls that he "might" call or come by. Let it be a nice surprise if he does. That way they won't be disappointed.
Get that money for your support!

Answer 9

Get Child Support!

Answer 10

i would see a lawyer and try to stop his parental right's at least till he changes his attiude and take's a interest in wanting to see his daughter's right now he sounds like a no good asshole jail bird and unfit dad when you have to beg him to visit his girl's thats sad for them having a dad that bad go for childsuport if you can do both he don't seem like he wants around his girls