Unfaithfuless?

Question

I'm having feelings that my wife is cheating! & yet i have no tangible edvidence/proof! The only thing i have is a gut feeling that is so real as well as distressing, That she is. Our sex activites have been limited to once a month! I feel like she feels she doing me a favor,
So now i really don.t desire her like that anymore any thoughts on this ordeal? "women please feel free to post your comments as well as thoughts"

Answer 1

I am a firm believer in trusting your instincts. Some women have a low sex drive, but frankly I don't know any. Hell, even when my husband and I were on the brink of divorce we had sex at least 2-3 times a month.

I think you should talk to your wife. Never accuse anyone of cheating w/o direct proof, but put it out there that due to this sudden change in behavior you feel that she may stray. Listen to her response and watch her body language.

In the end, do you want your marriage to work? Are you willing to put the effort in to save your marriage? Counseling? Growing as a person? Is she? You are about to hit a rough patch...what are you going to do about it?

Answer 2

First, don't say anything to your wife. Don't even let on that you suspect something is going on. If she knows that you are suspicious, she'll start changing her behavior (if she's guilty). Ideally, you want hard evidence that she is cheating, not a gut feeling. The first step is to check her cell phone records. You can do this at work so that you don't get caught. Reverse look up any numbers you don't know. If it's a cell phone, have a co-worker friend call and and see who answers (hopefully it'll go to voicemail and you can just hear the name. Make sure that the friend who is calling can not be traced back to you). Look for any numbers called multiple times a day or at odd hours (1 a.m.). Also keep an eye out for a number she calls every day to or from work. She could be calling him while driving home.

It's very important that you don't get caught snooping because if she finds out and is not cheating, then you've just introduced some trust issues into your marriage. If she is cheating, then once you have your hard evidence, it doesn't matter if she catches you snooping.

You can also put a key logger on your home computer (very handy. This is how I caught my husband red handed) or hide a tape recorder in her car (this is risky though. She might find it).

As far as the sex goes, that could be caused by anything. The female libido is affected by totally unrelated things sometimes.

Answer 3

When you get the "GUT" feeling, you don't need validation or anything else such as proof!
You can tell also if she acts totally different around you in a manner other than what you were accustomed to!

I felt the gut feelings also when I was suspecting my EX, and the intuition is a GENUINE thing that shouldn't be overlooked. I was told by a Counselor I was seeing before that when you have that "GUT" feeling, this is your PROOF!

As a result, I wasn't "into" the marriage anymore, Bcuz a part of it died when my intuition was "kicking in!"

The advice now I'd like to offer is, since you don't "desire" your Wife after her infedelity, you might want to think about "moving on" in your life, Bcuz if nothing is left, you're only wasting each other's time by staying together.

She might want to work through this with you, but she should understand your point of view too and if you want to move on, she needs to know that!


well, prayers to you and in your future.

Answer 4

Usually if you have a gut feeling that something isn't right then you need to start looking for signs.Go to radio shack and buy a couple of phone recorders and hook them up to the house phone.Also if she has a cell phone request a detailed bill each month.Check the numbers that stand out especially during the time you are not together.Look for multiple calls or long time periods.Notice her activities and how she dresses or fixes herself up.If something is going on there will be signs but it may not be easy to spot right away.This is how I caught my ex wife cheating and when it all came out I had about 15 hours of her and him talking on the phone.No chance of denial this way.

Answer 5

have you talked to her about it? Maybe she is having some problems that she hasnt discussed with you, Don't automatically jump to the conclusion that she is cheating. If she doesn't want to discuss it or isn't willing to go to counseling, then you may be right.
I went through some feelings like that once with my hubby. Right after we got back together after a seperation due to his "habits" but it was because I still had feelings of anger to him that I wasnt able to get into the mood for love making. But since we have talked and grown and the trust is back so is the bedroom fun. Try communication before acting on anything else. If she is cheating on you then you need to move on to someone that can show you respect and love. Good luck hon.

Answer 6

Always trust your gut instinct. You may have to deviate from your normal routine one day and check out what she is up to. Also be a detective and look for clues in her belongings or cell phone. Also see if she has been into her appearance more lately like working out or new underwear and clothes and just keep your eyes open. Sorry for your situation.

Answer 7

Just because she isn't interested in sex doesn't mean anything. Some girls can go a long time with out sex and not be bothered by it all.
I would say that until you see any more signs, don't jump to any conclusions.

Answer 8

Tell her how you feel be honest, as your relationship is kind of deteriating,dont leave it till its to late, talk things over ask her how she feels , I dont know how long you've been married but if you dont want it to end , dont accuse her of cheating though as you have no proof, ask has her feelings for you changed and why, tell how your feelings for her, it will help to talk about it...

Good luck

Answer 9

i know that feeling thats what i was told about my husband cheating i saw him kiss a nother women and saw him go behind a old bridge i asoomed they were having sex but i really haven't got proof either i wish i could find out were seprated if he is i need to know so i can let go it hurts

Answer 10

my advice in this situation is to ask her straight out and if you dont believe her answer then go to the extreme and keep tabs on her it might sound grazy but you dont want to look like a fool and be disrespected at least you will have your piece of mind but trust your instincts its always right but dont confuse your instincts on being plain old paranoid.