Correct english?

Question

The illustration depicts a summer or spring day because the woman is wearing a white tank top and red shorts. The illustration establishes the setting of the story by using bright colors to represent daylight. The colors in the illustration indicate that the event took place in the morning or in the afternoon. The brightness of colors creates a festive and idyllic atmosphere. There are no dark clouds or raindrops present in the picture to show signs of bad weather. The picture shows thick green grass surrounded by a white picket fence that creates an impression of a backyard. Therefore, the setting takes place in the backyard. The picture also depicts a bathing scene in the backyard with the presence of a water hose, tub filled with water, potcakes, dog shampoo and water. The eleven dogs are playing and having fun in the backyard while the main character attempts to bath the dogs.
The illustration extends and develops the text because there is a lot of activity from the dogs and not much information. The illustration gives more visual information than the text. The illustration shows the woman having fun bathing the potcakes but the text does not tell the reader about the woman personality. The text does not tell the reader how the woman copes with bathing all the potcakes. Additionally, the picture shows that a potcake is holding the water hose and unintentionally sprays water on the woman. The picture also shows that the woman is dressed to bath the dogs but the text does not tell the reader. The illustration shows water splashes all over the backyard yet the text does not state the water splashes.
The illustration conveys to the reader that the potcakes and the woman are having fun together. The illustration expresses the main character facial expressions because she is smiling while bathing the potcakes. She enjoys getting wet. It shows her delight of bathing the potcakes through her body language and action. She is relaxed and the picture does not show her avoiding the water splashes. Her clothes portrays that she was prepared for the task. Additionally, the illustration depicts a young African-American woman with long curly hair, thick lips and a skinny body. In addition, the illustration shows a mixture of potcakes, puppies, young adults and adult dogs. The moods of the picture show content and happiness.

Answer 1

Pretty nice..Grammar is above satisfactory.

A few proofreads:

-- The eleven dogs are playing and having fun in the backyard while the main character attempts to bath the dogs.

Mine would be: The eleven dogs are playing and having fun in the backyard while the main character attempts to bath them.

-- The illustration shows the woman having fun bathing the potcakes but the text does not tell the reader about the woman personality.
-- The illustration expresses the main character facial expressions because she is smiling while bathing the potcakes.

's was omitted?
woman's
main character's

My opinion:
Honestly, I kinda skipped the second half part of your write-up. It was like going in circles. There was too much comparison between the illustration and the text, I guess..Likewise, I'd recommend replacing recurring 'additionally' and 'in addition'.

Good luck!

Answer 2

"The illustration gives more visual information than the text."

Text can't give visual information, so I'd drop the "visual".

It should be "contentment" in the last sentence, I think.

Um - WHAT is a potcake?