Do you think that the person who was cheated on ever fully recovers? Do you think that they always have strong anger and resentment? Do they ever forgive and see the person for who they really are or only see the bad?
2007-02-11 13:55:21 · 18 answers · asked by spoildrotn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think that you can fully recover from that emotional wound...but I do think that wounds heal...even though some of the times they leave a scar....
Some people do keep strong anger and resentment...and I think that comes from the fact that they don't know how to allow themselves to heal...I think that comes from someone that feels pressured to be o.k. because that is what society expects from everyone...no one wants to let themselves be hurt or grieve any more...and that is the process to healing...it is just like a wound or cut...it takes time to heal...sometimes it may take longer than other scars you had...but it will heal...and sometimes wounds reopen or get a little infected...but that doesn't mean it won't get better....
Yes, I have seen people forgive someone for cheating...but that doesn't mean they forget it...I think it is all behind why your forgive...if you forgive for yourself...then you won't be o.k....because that is selfish...but if you forgive because of a true understanding of the heart of the matter...then you will be o.k.....
So I say...it is all behind your motive...
2007-02-11 14:08:11 · answer #1 · answered by LIFECOACH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No we never fully recover. However we get over the strong anger and resentment, it sort of morphs into pity for the cheater. We do forgive but it's not like a Godly forgiveness where it's thrown as far as the east is from the west. We still remember! Forgiveness just seems like an empty phrase that we allow. It's more for the cheater so they can coop with their misdeed. As for seeing the person for who they really are.... we do, we see them as cheaters. THAT'S who they are. It's like seeing someone who is mentally suffering with schizophrenia, or manic depressive disorder. The are still people, not just meat waiting to die, but, they have a problem they will be dealing with for the rest of their lives.
2007-02-11 14:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgive and see the person for who they really are?
you make it seem as if though the cheater is a good person or something, they are not good, they are a cheater and a backstabber and bad, thats all they are, they have no honor and can't be trusted or relied on, those all sound like bad qualities to me
are they a good parent?
destroying their childrens family life with that BS, does not make them a good parent, no matter how much candy they buy their kids
a good spouse?
them cheating does not exemplify good spousal behaviour
good person?
they lied and hurt the person that loved them the most, which part of that makes them good?
sure, there may be anger and pain and resentment, and even if there is none of that, the cheating spouse is what they really are, a cheater and a liar, all of it bad to anyone that hapens to look
2007-02-11 14:16:56 · answer #3 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard to let go when someone betrays you. But in time you will heal. You can use that situation and anger in two ways though. You can choose to let it go and find someone else and learn from the experience. Or you can hold onto it and let it eat you up and get in the way of future relationships. Just because you let it go and forgive doesn't mean you have to forget. Hopefully the person betrayed can do this and go on to have a great life with someone that truely loves and respects them.
2007-02-11 14:10:24 · answer #4 · answered by Angela K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it depends who you are and whether you want to put in the work towards healing. I know people who have managed to forgive. I doubt any of those people ever forgot. I mean, how can you. For me, it would never happen. I could never forgive nor forget. I feel as though cheating is the ultimate deception.
2007-02-11 14:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No they never do ,sometimes they can try to convince themselves they did but it will never happen..its just not going to..i stayed in a marriage 23 years she had cheated after 3 years and well i did it for the kids and at times i tried i really did but i could never forget nor forgive i would have to just say no.. cant be done,i have never known anyone to forgive anyone for it.
2007-02-11 19:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i don't think u ever forget it, or really forgive it. think there is always anger, yes i think they already saw the person when they got abandoned and cheated on, unless the person who cheated on them wanted to show some remorse, and ask forgiveness, but if the breakup was an especially hurtful one i wouldn't count on them forgiving that easy.
2007-02-11 14:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe there can be healing and forgiveness. It just takes a very long time to rebuild the trust and self esteem that is destroyed in the process. I pray for healing and for the strength to forgive.
2007-02-11 14:09:30 · answer #8 · answered by Sally B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was cheated on a couple of times by my ex. You really have to give up the anger and resentment and move on otherwise you are going to waste your life being angery.
The last one he cheated on me with tried to degrade me telling everyone it was my fault, I was a horrible person that made him hit me and cheat on me. She moved with him and end up back in town a couple months later beat up with a whole new tone to her life and bruises in her life.
It has been many years since then and stopped wasting my time being upset with him. His loss.
2007-02-11 14:08:29 · answer #9 · answered by cheoli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im separated my husband cheated on me i have all kinds of feelings one minute i think about good times then next i think about him with a slut all kinds of mixed feelings is in me even resentment i can't forgive hes not tryed to ask for forgiveness i cry sometimes then i think im too old to shed tears i have nightmares too
2007-02-15 11:10:43 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋