Why should we straight men be forced to accept transwomen as real women?

Question

This is a legitamite question and if more men are going to accept transwomen as real women I really believe it has to be addressed.
1) First off there is the whole issue of honesty. Omission is the same as lying. Most men don't appreciate being lied to. Plus two wrongs do not make a right. It makes allot of guys angry that transwomen are not honest about their trans status.
2) Transwomen were born into male bodies (exceptions are those with XXY, or YYX etc) I fully understand transwomen have female souls, brains and hearts. I want a women with a female soul, brain, heart and that was born into a female body. This is just my personal choice, it's what I feel comfortable with. Please don't force me to be with a transwomen through dishonesty.
3) Most Genetic women can become pregnant (exception, infertile, old, chose not to). There is not one single transwomen (XY only) who can become pregnant.
These are real concerns most straight men have. Why do you think transwomen are real women?

Answer 1

I don't think for a second that transwomen are real women. Regardless of being born in the 'wrong' body. You can slap some **** and an a$$ on a dog, an call it a 'transwoman'. That doens't make the dog a human - it's nothing but a silly dog with a boob job.

You aren't forced to be with a transwoman. And even if you were, you could always sue for emotional duress.

Answer 2

Alex, I just looked through your questions and I've noticed a theme here. A good percentage of your questions are about transgender stuff. Also, your identity from question to question changes. Currently you are claiming to be a straight male. In another post you claim to be married to a man, which makes you either a woman or a gay man. Then you mention that you are a male who fell in love with a pre-op MTF. THEN you mention that you are a straight male who took home a woman who you now wonder if she was trans or not, and you're disgusted by it.

I think that the first question you posted is the truth, that you slept with someone who you THINK was trans and now you're obsessed with the idea of figuring this all out.

Well, stop lying about who you are and what your current situation is. It makes it much harder to give you answers that would actually help you. So what is the REAL truth?

Now a quick rundown of a few points that might make it so that you don't have to obsess over these questions anymore.

1. A transwoman is a woman, whether she has had any surgery or not. If you are a straight male imagine how you would feel if you were born with a vagina and forced to wear dresses while growing up. Now reverse that and that's how a transwoman feels. Studies have been done that demonstrate that the brains of trans people ARE different than the brains of those who were born into the right bodies. So the brain of a biological male who states that she is a woman is different than the brain of a biological male who states that he is male.

2. If the surgery was done well it would be pretty difficult for a man to notice that the vagina was surgically created. And so many women get boob jobs nowadays that that would tell you nothing, either.

3. If a person has completed all the surgeries and is now living a life as the gender that they feel they always were, then in their minds it's over now. Now they can focus on other, more important things. So since a person born into a female body would not tell you on the first date that she cannot have children, it is irrational to expect a transwoman to tell you that on the first date, too. Now, she SHOULD tell you sooner rather than later. But to expect her to tell you right away is foolish.

4. A man who loves or who is intimate with a transwoman is still 100% man. A transwoman is a WOMAN. Also, a straight man who loves or who is intimate with a transwoman is still straight!

5. If you stop picking up one-night-stands you won't run into this problem anymore. One-night-stands are pretty anonymous. I wouldn't expect any truthful answers about anything from anyone who is a one night stand. This includes the fact that you could be picking up women who were born into female bodies who are lying about all sorts of things, like whether they have herpes or not.

6. If you are a straight male, you are still a straight male now. You see so much on tv nowadays about transgender stuff because it sells, just like the documentaries about morbidly obese people or little people. But the percentage of the population that is actually trans is very low. So if you're really interested in settling down and having kids, go out there, find some nice women to DATE, and find one with a working uterus.

Now will you PLEASE stop it with this obsession and this lying?

Answer 3

hi alex. this is a very legit question, and i think the issue comes down to timing.. how soon into a date or relationship should transsexuals reveal their what type of genitals they have.. obviously, it's not the first thing that comes to mind when you first meet someone.. it's like "hi nice to meet you, by the way i have a penis".. i just don't see that happening..

but perhaps after a few dates, i can totally understand an obligation to reveal the truth.

i am a male and still live as a man, but i see myself going thru transition soon..

obviously, there is much more to a person than their genitals. transwomen have been pumped full of female hormones for years.. they think like women, they feel women, they dress like women, and they do everything they can to cat and fit into the societal gender role of a woman.. some even go so far as to have sexual reassignment surgury.. they may not be 100% women, but pretty darn close..

it doesn't really matter what you accept. if you don't want to date transwomen, then that's your business..

but i agree that there should be some sort of universal protocol established for exactly how and when transwomen reveal the truth..

when i do become a woman and present full time, i certainly won't want to mislead anyone.. but at the same time, talking about my genitals isn't likely the best way to make a good first impression when i meet people.. there's gotta be a balance somehow.

Answer 4

I'm kinda with you here. Transwomen, and transmen, ARE people born into the wrong sex/gender (however you want to define the two), and have the hearts and souls of women/men.
I think the dishonesty thing may come from not wanting to have to fight with or defend themselves right off the bat. Think about it? When you first meet someone you are interested in, do you automatically tell them that you wet the bed until you were 12, or that you cry every time Bambi's mom is killed? No. Why? Because it's embarrassing to you and you don't want to have to explain or defend it, nor do you want someone laughing at you about it.
Trans (both men and women) are not capable of having children. That doesn't mean they are lesser beings. And you're right that there are genetic men and women out there who can't have children for various reasons, either. They are no lesser in our eyes, so why should trans be? And, hey, maybe someday science will find a way to make them fertile. *eye roll* Can't wait for that debate.
I, personally, believe in the good old "people are people" school of thought. Life is far to complicated already to constantly be drawing lines in the sands, dividing everyone into little groups and boxes. It's not fair and it just makes things worse. Then again, I'm a fairly accepting person in all things; there is always another side to the story that you just don't see from where you are standing.

Answer 5

When you go out with someone, do you recite your entire medical history to them? Do you tell them every detail of your past? Being transsexual is something that was in the past, your now in congruence with your body and who you are is who you are, being post-op just means that you can't have kids.

Being born into male bodies doesn't mean anything, when you were a child did you look like the adult you are today? Probably not, people change over time and their past bodily apperance shouldn't be a problem. People can't choose how they are when they come into the world, all we can do is effect the way we are in the world.

Your number 3 is right, but as you pointed out some genetic women can't get pregnant as well, so while I agree that it should be mentioned they can't have kids, mentioning that one used to be very uncomfortable and had to overcome sigificant trials in order to be comfortable in their own skin, something most people take for granted, doesn't need to be said.

If you have any more questions or would like to discuss this more, feel free to e-mail me, I am sincerely curious how you could believe that trans women are somehow "inferior."

Answer 6

I'm sorry you feel like you are being forced. I, personally, do date transwomen and I will not hide just because someone feels insecure, though I will say you are being more respectful than most. Transsexual people (there are transmen, but for good or ill no one really speaks about them) are commonly scorned mainly due to ignorance- most people simply haven't been around them, so they don't know what to do or how to act. The vast majority of the population equate physical gender with actual gender; the problem is in the hypothalamus, which regulates gender identity. It, like everything else in your body, can be altered. Usually people are born with their mind and body in sync; transsexuals do not and it tears them apart because the body they have does not represent the person they are. In the end your mind determines your gender, but because gender identity is so strong in society it is tough to accept something taken as a 'given' which needs to be re-thought as we discover more about the human condition.
Transwomen, I feel, have an even more difficult time of things because their condition hits two of the largest fear among all men: xenophobia (fear of the unknown) and emasculation. Maybe it's an obvious oversimplification, but insults are meant to hurt people, so what do you say to hurt a man? You have a small d!ck, you can't get it up, you're a p*ssy, you label them with a female name. Transwomen are looked upon as the corporeal form of that fear of emasculation instead of as human. Look how many answers here talk about beating them up or denigrating transwomen; all that talk of "loving one another" just went out the window because of... fear. Obviously, none of the ones preaching violence have been around transwomen for any appreciable length of time. They are afraid, afraid of the unknown, of looking weak in front of other men, of getting beat up because they associate with the wrong kind of people, afraid they might get attracted and be confused... but if they beat them up.. then their masculinity is reaffirmed, and if they kill them...the threat is gone. That's the effect of xenophobia.
Now I will say people should be up front and honest about a relationship, but this is a two-way street. The threat of violence (again, look at the vitriol in the messages just in these answers) is high and if you want honesty you have to act the gentleman and don't resort to violence. Be respectful, say they are not what you are looking for, my apologies for wasting your time, and walk away. And everyone is safe. Their honesty commonly results in their death, so men have to show the common courtesy deserved to all people (even the ones you hate) if you wish to have your own expectations respected. BTW, your third bullet point is moot, they have no more control over that than you have in the individuals that attract you. Since you describe it as something "most" women can do, it is obviously not a necessary nor sufficient condition for womanhood.
In the end, it is simply a fact -neither good nor bad- they are women. But no one can be forced to accept facts and when they collide with belief they will never be accepted. P.S.: Technically, all men are transsexuals, but that is a story for a different time. Hogs and bulls don't have teats, but men have nipples... ever wonder why that is...?

Answer 7

You aren't "forced" to do anything unless someone's holding a weapon to your head. Honesty is an issue that a transitioning person should hold to, however I can also see their pov when researching the issue myself, in that they are so terribly treated by people and so desperate for love that some people do resort to some dishonest, desperate measures... but then that's NO excuse for someone to treat them as horrifyingly as they're often treated based on some illogical "ick" factor, or plain ignorance and cruelty. In their own mind these people are real women or men stuck in the wrong bodies and they are just like you or me... they also want love and to be happy. Who are we to deny them happiness based on prejudices, some of which (not necessarily those posed here) are illogical? _()_

Answer 8

I dont think they are real women, in the sense that they were natrually born that way. Perhaps they have a need to be a woman and feel they were born into the wrong body, so they become transwomen to make their lives more comfortable, and feel like it is more natrual for them, but I dont think that you should ever have to be with one if you are uncomfortable with it. And frankly, I don't blame you for being uncomfortable with it. Honesty is important in this situation, and I think they should tell straight men the truth.

Answer 9

I'm not sure what you mean by "transwoman." Are you talking about cross dressers, or people who have surgery to become the opposite sex? Either way, what difference does it make to you? If what you want is a female partner who has a uterus, start hanging out in places where they congregate. Take a class, do some volunteer work, get your friends to introduce you to some women. The vast majority of women in this country are heterosexual, uterus-owning, honest-to-goodness women. Get out there and find one.

Answer 10

If this is how you feel, no one can force you to feel otherwise - so isn't the point moot? If a transwomen aren't real women to you, don't associate with them - problem solved.

Answer 11

To begin with no one can force you to be with anyone. It sounds to me like you were approached by a transgendered female. Yes, I do agree, they should be honest with you. But, understand, these are people now chose to totally live as the sex they should have been to begin with. I think that their struggles are much harder then the worries you have. You have the choice. To be happy in their skin they had to make the change,