Is a loveless marriage worth it?

Question

I have been married for the past 6 yrs to a beautiful asian lady who has no desire for intimacy. She will not allow me to hold her, hug her, kiss her, make love....nothing. She says that if I want that, then get it on the corner and don't bring it home. She rarely says she loves me, usually I say it and with no response. When asked, she says she does but her actions tell me different. We have not been intimate for about 3 yrs now and I am not sure which way to go now. It seems she is more concerned about money and how much is in her account than our relationship....need help? We sleep in the same bed but she will not allow me to touch her, not even her arm. She sleeps with a blanket between us, am I wrong in assuming it may be over?

Answer 1

No honey, it's over.

Answer 2

There is no reason for you to have to stay with someone that makes you unhappy. Try to communicate these feelings to her, if you already have and she can give you now reason for her actions then maybe it is time for you to move on and find someone that is willing to give you true love. Try counseling if she is willing to first. But without intimacy a marriage will not work. And by that I don't mean just making love. Two people in love should want to hold, touch and be with the other. Money should not be a reason to be married to someone. I don't think by what you have described that you are wrong in your assumption. Good luck honey in finding that person that will show you the love and respect that two people have for each other, and get out of that unhappy and unhealthy marriage.

Answer 3

I am sorry about your situation. Honestly, I think your marriage has been over for at least 3 years now. Did you ask her why she won't allow you to kiss her, touch her, make love to her? Maybe something may have happened with her to make her not want you to touch her. There are some people that don't like to be intimate, but I think as far as a marriage goes, some intimacy should be involved. If she doesn't even respond to you with you saying you love her, than maybe it's that she don't love you. If she tells you to go and seek elsewhere for sex, then basically that's a sign of her saying she doesn't care. Just get up and leave her. She loves her money more than she loves you.

Best bet, confront her about her actions, and seek counseling if you want to save your marriage.

Answer 4

I wonder what she was like when you two were first together. Has she always been like this? If she has, then you should never have been with her in the first place. It's more likely that she became like this over time. What has happened in the last 6 years? Has she fallen into depression? I agree with the other person who suggested that you look into couples counseling to get to the bottom of this.

However, if it becomes clear over time that is just the way things will always be for you two, then you might just need to move on.

Answer 5

I think before three years things were better, if we knew why it happened, we will find the way to make things better.
Try to analyze yr family history, bond, we don't know if u have children or not?
Maybe she has a healthy problem, or any other reason, or maybe something makes her
Feel so and she won't hurt your feeling, pls check every thing, yr breath smell, yr teeth! If u couldn't find any Organic reason;
Try to remember what happened b4 three years, maybe something U didn't consider it very important, but it was a huge barrier in her mind! Women are very sensitive…
Why she said (then get it on the corner and don't bring it home)? What happened?
U may refer to a psychological Dr. He will analyze your situation…
U may send mail!
Regards!

Answer 6

I am sorry to say ITS OVER!

she is definatley sending you that message loud and clear!

humans need touch, intimacy, talking with receptive caring, loving people!-Can't and why should you get that on a street corner!

Do you make the money by chance?? cause I am guessing you do and thats the big push for her staying with you..get out and find yourself a loving lady to be with!

Answer 7

Actions speak louder than words. The always do.That woman is a gold-digger. As an objective outsider here, I am telling you to run. If you feel emotionally unfulfilled now, what do you think a couple more years will do to you?? At the very least, you'll continue to feel unsupported, insecure, unappreciated, and used. Sounds like you have a lot of love to give. Give it to someone who can give it back. Run baby, run!!

Answer 8

Oh ,my gosh what are you doing with this women shes obviously with you for the money or you have some material thing she wants.... 3 yrs... wOwww.... I'm surprised your still married..Have you brought the situation up ... have you guys tried therapy... you sound like a nice guy, so honey stop waisting your time with this pathetic lady get a divorce and move on.. with your life.... best of luck!!!!

Answer 9

It sounds like it has been over for 3 years. If you live in an area that gets Tom Lykus on the radio I recommend you start listening regularly - you are in need of Lykus 101, and quite frankly, you need to stop acting like a wuss. LEAVE....you deserve better. She only wants your money and citizenship.

Answer 10

Sounds to me like it was over from the start. Get rid of her and find a woman who likes to be touched and loved. She needs to be married to someone made of ice.

Answer 11

I have seen it so many times, a marriage of convience. If she isn't making love to you and all she's worried about is money you need to find out what she's doing with the money. Is she sending it to her family? Is she saving it until she has enough to move on?