My ex walked out on me and our son for the 2nd time 6 weeks ago after being back together for 5 months,we have a 4 year old son.Anyway it`s his birthday coming up in 3 weeks so should i send him a card from my son?
He isn`t having any contact at the moment as my son has learning difficulties and couldn`t handle it last time,i will let him visit in the near future but just wanted to get us both settled down a bit and used to him not being here.Things aren`t really great between me and my ex just now and i don`t even have an address for him although i know he`s staying still nearby,i was going to send it to his mums address or send a txt or something i don`t know what to do,advice appreciated,thanx.
2007-02-11 13:29:06 · 24 answers · asked by onlyme 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i`m not trying to hang onto him or anything like that as i know it`s well and truly over between us now,i also don`t want him to think i`m sending a card to make him feel guilty.
2007-02-11 13:38:35 · update #1
I feel so awful for you but I can relate somewhat...
I wouldn't send him a card. Not now. Wait it out a while and see if he steps up to his role as a father. Since you don't even know where he's living I wouldn't go through the trouble.
You sound like a wonderful mom and are trying to do what's best but I feel that he needs to step up to the plate and be there for his child first.
Good luck.
2007-02-11 13:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What does your son want to do? If he actually wants to send him a card, than go ahead and let him make one (even if it is a folded piece of paper and crayon). If he isn't interested than just let it go. As far as making your ex feel guilty, you can't force anyone to feel a certain way. A sane person in his situation should feel guilty if he gets a card or not. If you send him a card, however, and it is from you (in reality, no matter who's name is signed), he is in the driver's seat. He will know if it is from you or your son, and he won't feel guilty if it is from you.
On a side note, I wish you the best of luck raising your child. I have a 2 yr old and can't imagine what it would be like to raise him alone.
2007-02-11 13:54:21 · answer #2 · answered by Ryan_Hood 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have your son send him a card let him think about what he has done take him to court for child support He sounds like a jerk you can't walk out of kids life because hes got learning problems that's just a excuse for not being responsible
2007-02-11 13:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by vixen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your son if he wants to send his Daddy a card and if so let him write or draw something in the card for his Dad. If he says no then dont bother. He is not deserving and he may think you are laying a guilt trip on him.
2007-02-11 19:34:02 · answer #4 · answered by jaygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your son even know its his birthday? & I don't mean because you've told him it is. Truly, he's not even old enough to know the difference. Stay out of it. When your son is older and if your ex keeps up visitation, your son can send him birthday cards that he's bought with his allowance because it's his choice and not because you don't want your ex to forget that you two still exist somewhere on this planet.
2007-02-11 13:47:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
SO is he the bad man or did he have a real good reason for leaving?
We are led to believe that it is always the man that is at fault.This is alway so. I had to leave my wife when my daughter was very young and my ex poisoned her mind with all the "bad" stories about her dad and didnt let her have contact with me. my daughter and I now have a very good relationship (she is now 26 years) and she despises her mother for not letting her see me.
Send the card. you might loose a lot more than a husband if you dont.
2007-02-11 15:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by banjoman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DON'T SEND HIM A CARD!!!
That scum bag can't just walk out on you and leave you in the lurch with a young child like that just because he can't (handle the learning difficulty!)
What if you couldn't handle it??
You cant walk out, your staying like a proper parent would!!
all the credit to you!!
good luck to you and your little one.
2007-02-11 13:41:05 · answer #7 · answered by ACE RIMMER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there....done that....send the card. It's important for your son to see your 'respect' for the man who created him. Have him make a card. Don't spend money on it. Homemade will be fun for you to create with your boy and special for dad to get. A card and gift in one. Send the card.
2007-02-11 13:40:46 · answer #8 · answered by tutter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ywah sure its his dad at the end of the day just make sure the words inside are perfect dont send him a card with worlds best dad on if hes not find one that says a simple happy birthday dad
2007-02-11 23:27:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If he walked out then that is his problem.
If your son sends him a card he will know it is from you.
If he is a man he should take responsibility for his son & you.
Why did he walk out. It is better for you both to sort out your lives & try to resolve your differences by talking.
If this does not help get on with your lives.
2007-02-11 13:37:39 · answer #10 · answered by ANDREW H 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋