i am a single mother of one living with my boyfriend who is an alcoholic. we have been together for 5 years. I work and make all the money and I pay all the bills. he cannot work do to the fact that the doctors have labled him as having anxiety. He has severl children that he doesn't see and I do not want ot hurt him and he won't go to rehab what do I do?
2007-02-11 13:26:29 · 16 answers · asked by bnr6661 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would have told you to leave him.
But as you ask for help, Ill do my best to try to.
He hurts you.
Then, if you want to try to rehabilitate him, you will have to hurt him.
You say he is an alcoholic, and doctors say he has anxiety.
There is the first point to solve. Get a good diagnosis.
He is very sick. He doesn't see his children, he doesn't work, he is alcoholic, doctors labeled him, making him unable to get a job, he won't go to rehab. Even if he doesn't hit you, he is making you suffer very much, and it seems he does not matter. Do you think someone that doesn't love his own children, his couple, and mostly his own self, its some one sane? He is very insane. Its dramatic.
The only solution I think that may work, its getting him interned by force into a mental hospital, probably for a very long time.
If you can, do it urgently. His illness is very contagious, to you and to your son mostly.
If that doesn't work, do what I though at first. Leave him now.
2007-02-11 14:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by robertonereo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anxiety comes from all the alcohol he is taking and nothing will get any better should he continue taking it. he probably doesn't want to work because of child support he will have to pay for his ex and children he has.
you will have to tell him to clean up his act or move out, give him a choice. he stops or out he goes. and be firm about it.
he has options, AA or rehab.
2007-02-11 13:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by ~muffun~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a SPINE; tell him to get one better yet. And QUIT ruining your childrens views on life with a lifeless, drinking, waste of air, your with. Come on now do you really need to ask this? Are you not intelligent enough to see what needs to be done? Now with being the bread winner and raising children and dealing with him you have to be smart on some level here. Give yourself a big pat on the back for doing what you do anyway, but quit wasting your time and your childrens.
2007-02-11 13:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by jmcbuild4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cares about you then he would try and get his act together. I think you should try and help as long as he does not beat you or anything. If he does you gotta leave him cuz he wont change. If doesnt want to be a "Man" there is always some who will. So find someone who wants to share the the relationship duties.
2007-02-11 13:36:45 · answer #4 · answered by jrockbed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried counseling...I think that the issue with his drinking is deeper than just having a simple problem...there must be something that he is trying to cope with....
If you together...have tried counseling, then maybe he could try it alone if he hasn't...
But, as far as you are concerned, I think that you may want to ask yourself why you are staying around....and whether or not you want to raise your child in that environment....is it healthy...and do you want the child learning that type of behavior...or lifestyle
And, you have a purpose for your life...you have something in this world that God made you to do...so, are you going to be able to accomplish it by taking care of all that you take care of...
2007-02-11 13:32:23 · answer #5 · answered by LIFECOACH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself: Do I WANT to live with this man? Is there a promising future in this relationship? Sounds like there is no real advantage to staying with him, certainly not financial, not much emotional. Try going to Al-Alon for advice. Consider taking your child and moving on.
2007-02-11 13:32:27 · answer #6 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a problem girlfriend and he can get pills for anxiety. Why would he go to work if he has you to support him. If he loves you and wants to stay he'll go to AA and turn his life around. Do you want your kid around a drunk? Do you want your child to copy his behavier? Or How about this, STOP GIVING HIM MONEY TO DRINK! He'll sober up real quick.
2007-02-11 13:34:16 · answer #7 · answered by Sasasa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM. He sounds like a mooch and the only reason he's nervous is because he's freakin' that someone will actually make him take responsibility for something. Try and figure out why YOU are still with someone like that.
2007-02-11 13:32:10 · answer #8 · answered by Jade D. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out and break it off with this guy. He is a dead beat dad and that is bad to begin with. Imagine if you have a child with him and he takes off on you and the baby. You will be much better off without this guy in your life. Move on.
2007-02-11 13:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously he is a deadbeat. you have to think about more than his feelings. do you want your child to think it is ok to act like that? do you want your child to think you are wasting your life supporting a man who doesn't care enough about you or himself to get help? go out and find yourself a real man who will accept the responsibility of helping you raise a child to be a decent upstanding human being.
2007-02-11 13:36:02 · answer #10 · answered by Insomniac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋