my husband left 2 months ago..he said he loves me but he is not in love with me. But still makes love to me at least once a week. But does not kiss me. He tells me he can't come home "Yet". I asked him if he wants me to stop telling him I love him..he said that is up to me. I have asked him If I should walk away, and he never answers me. He also has said when I have asked him if he is coming home that not yet but he does not what the future holds..HELP ME PLEASE...
2007-02-11 13:02:18 · 24 answers · asked by hurtalloveragainks 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just so you know..we have 2 children together 7 and 3. Yes I love him with all my heart. and 3 step children of mine. he has been with us since my daughter his step daughter was 2 she is the youngest. he is now living with his mom and dad and I am at home taking care of the family. He comes and goes. the only thing he has taken are his clothes everything else is still here. He is paying 90% of the bills..ok..no help...
2007-02-11 13:29:33 · update #1
Sounds like he is getting the best of both worlds. The convenience of coming home and having some one there for him and the pleasures of being a free man. This is not healthy for you. Cut him off. Does not mean that you have to end the relationship but you should be benefitting from this as much as he is. Whether you date or not it is up to you but let him believe you are. Conviently not be home for his regular visits, if he catches you at home, grab your coat and say sorry I was just about to leave. This may be hard but it will give him something to think about, and it will give you the answer you need. You will know if there is anything to salvage.
2007-02-11 13:10:53 · answer #1 · answered by live4logan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he may have someone else and sleeping with you keeps his foot in the door. Either he isnt done playing or he likes the benefits of marriage ie. sex, but doesnt want the committment. If he didnt want you to walk away, he would say, I just need more time or something to let you know he is worth waiting for...Hes not doing that for you honey, its time to move on. Sometimes, when I am looking for a good answer, all I have to do is pretend my best friend is me, going through what I am going through. What I would tell her to do may be different than what I do for myself, but if you take a long hard look at his signs and signals, you would tell your best friend to give this loser his walking papers, and find yourself a man who can give it to you every night because he is there, with you, where he wants to be!!! Tell him not to worry about coming home, that you made his decision easy for him, you decided you didnt want him to!! Good Luck
2007-02-11 13:14:23 · answer #2 · answered by notso_recoveringwino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is using you for what he can get,if he doesn`t kiss you any more then ther is no feeling`s there for him ,it`s a sex thing he know`s you still love him,and will keep taking from you as long as you let him,you need to tell him no more sex unless you are back together,if that make`s him stay away even more then you know he was only showing up for sex,nothing more
2007-02-11 13:11:48 · answer #3 · answered by chance 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's going through some sort of ******** he doesn't want you to know about. Do you think he's using you when he makes love to you? If he's doing it to only pleasure himself and not because there's anything (feeling) don't let him. Unless of course you don't mind him getting his rocks off on you. I can tell you how to change his behavior if you'll listen to me? 1. don't make love to him anymore. 2. file for divorce. 3. act like you don't care. 4. you can be cordial to him but don't act like you care, tell him you thought it over and divorce is the best thing. Okay ? Behavioral modification works the best if you utilize the opposite of your normal behavior especially in this case. If you love him you'll do this otherwise I don't know what could happen. Best of luck!
2007-02-11 13:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is basically using you. Is this what you want your children to see..a doormat? Tell him that you won't sleep with him any longer. I would also see an attorney about child support or alimony. Because I'm sure he isn't gonna appreciate your telling him that he's not allowed to stop in for a pit stop hump 'n go
2007-02-11 13:45:48 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be his doormat. He is just coming home when he wants a piece and then goes on with his life like a single man. Don't let him disrespect you like that. He should be trying to get you to let him come back home. Stop putting out and get some respect for yourself and make him leave or beg for forgiveness.
2007-02-11 13:09:00 · answer #6 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband obviously does not love you and is just using you for the sex. He is not making love to you . You are just an easy booty call to him and you fall for it. File for divorce and be done with him and move on with your life. No he wont come home and you dont need him to either since he is being like this.
2007-02-11 13:14:52 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband has issues. He wants his space right now. Try to balance the fact that he needs space with your own personal needs. You deserve answers, but asking him isn't going to help him figure it out.
Be strong and try to wait it out. At some point, if he still hasn't come back, you're going to have to draw the line.
2007-02-11 13:08:28 · answer #8 · answered by cy ko tic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well gorgeous, to be honest it sounds like he is using you for sex. I would try to act like you dont care what he does for a while. I also would stop sleeping with him, cause honestly you are giving him exactly what he wants. Also he isnt really caring for you if he is only uing u once a week.
Another idea is maybe to invite him over and just get him to outline exactly what he wants from you and what you would like from him. You deserve that.
p.s. dont act desperate.
2007-02-11 13:09:46 · answer #9 · answered by shoegalkb007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rn and run fast hes leading you on a game and your letting him win.As long as you continue to have sex with him you are the pawn and he thinks you will always take him back no matter what or how many times.
2007-02-11 13:15:56 · answer #10 · answered by miztycal mist 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋