My wife and I have been legally separated for almost 3 years. We were married for 12 and after her having affair after affair, I couldn't take it, but was still willing to stay for the kids. She filed and made me leave, so after this long of staying home alone, I've met someone, and she has gone crazy!!. She never called or cared any the whole time we have been separated, until now. Our separation papers state we have joint custody, but we don't have a set schedule. I only got to see them at her convience,when she had to work, have her hair done,had something to do, which meant I got them quiet a bit. Now, she is telling me I will never get to see my kids, and it is either the kids or my girlfriend. What do I do.
2007-02-11 13:02:17 · 22 answers · asked by BADKITTYKELLY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have joint custody so she can't do this. If you can't agree then the easiest thing would be to take her to court and get a set schedule. If she still doesn't let you see them then she will be in contempt of court. If she keeps it up you can keep turning her in and eventually it can help you get full custody. We have visitation every other weekend or whatever they agree on. One weekend we had him and she threatened to call the cops and say we kidnapped him because she got mad and was showing off for a new boyfriend, we went to the police and she ended up getting a report written out on her for interfering with visitation(embarassed her because the cop showed up on her doorstep and wrote all this out). That pretty much put an end to her BS. I know its a pain to have to go to these lengths and it can scare the kids, but you've got to do what you've got to do. We had a talk with the child first to make sure he knew that his mother was not going to get arrested or anything bad happen to her and he was fine.
2007-02-11 13:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No she can't keep them from you, but DON'T hire a lawyer yet. Contact your child support office and ask who handles custody and visitation matters (child support agencies don't handle this but it is most likely a family court commissioner). They will set you up for mediation where you can work out a schedule. Children shouldn't be used as a 'weapon' and I think what your can't-be-too-soon-ex is doing to your kids (and you) is childish as well has harmful to the kids. You've been separated long enough--you're entitled to a life too. Don't let your ex run your life or try and interfere in your relationship!
Here is a link to VA's District offices. http://www.dss.state.va.us/localagency/
Call today and tell them you need mediation. Good Luck!
2007-02-14 01:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by Cherie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is illegal for your wife to keep you from your kids. Even if she had sole custody and you weren't paying child support-you have the right to see your kids. Is it specified in your separation papers any sort of visitation pattern? What you need to do is go to family court where you got the legal separation and ask for an amendment. Just to add specified visitation. If your wife keeps you from seeing your children then you could actually sue for full custody and win. You have rights as a father, don't let her abuse them. I am currently in law school so this is the area I am specializing in. Hope it all works out.
2007-02-11 13:09:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I live in Virginia. You need to go to court tomorrow and file papers. No, she can't keep your children from you. File for joint custody with you having full physical custody. How old are the children? It seems you have a good shot, especially if the reason for the separation were because of affairs. I don't know what county you live in, but in the county I went to court, the judge would look down on that!
P.S. your separation agreement means nothing when it comes to child custody
Good Luck.
2007-02-11 13:11:21 · answer #4 · answered by ~ Just Me ~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you are interested in someone else you should just go ahead with a divorce and you go file, don't wait on her to do it. Tell your attorney you want to continue with the joint custody plus you want set visitation or joint custody with you having physical custody, which ever way you prefer. She can't keep you from seeing your kids, that would be contempt of court and she could go to jail. Personally I'd have in my divorce papers too a monetary limit on gifts, etc. Too many parents try to buy their children and that puts a stop to that kind of thing happening.
2007-02-11 13:13:23 · answer #5 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a new girlfriend isn't good for your kids, especially if they are young. All the kids want is a mom, dad, home, and normal childhood. If you getting time with them, and it's a lot, there is no need to go to court over this. Been there, done that, it's not pretty, helpful, and just wastes money that could be used for the kids. And I know this may not be your "parenting style", but your kids are going through a lot of ****, so you really honestly do need to be easy on them their whole life. Not that crazy on chores and not going out stuff. Let them be normal, with a few more freedoms because it is tough to grow up living back and forth. It will be the best for them. Oh, and the reason your ex-wife is freaking out is because her role as mother is being threatened by your new girlfriend, wait to introduce this girl to your kids and keep her lowkey. Show your ex-wife the girl is not inflicting anything on your kids, or even raising them. Mother is her job, not the new girls. That's why she's upset, and your kids might not liek the new girl and could be complaining to their mom. Just talk to your kids, and ask what they want. They know best.
2007-02-11 13:22:42 · answer #6 · answered by Hayden 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
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2015-01-28 13:01:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First..get in there and get that divorce finalized as well as who gets the children. If you met someone and she knows this, she will add that to the fire to prevent your having custody. Her threats are meaningless! How can someone prevent you from seeing their children? All of a sudden she wants you back? Could that mean she is unwilling to get the divorce so you stay in limbo and never get your life together. Sounds like not a very nice situation to be in.
2007-02-11 13:11:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go the the family support court in your area and get the papers rolling.For visitation rights and file for the divorce.
You have right even if she don't want you to.You have rights to see your children and maybe rights to get full custody of them.
There are do it your self divorce papers at the county clerks office for some money.Get the ball rolling.
2007-02-11 13:53:58 · answer #9 · answered by miztycal mist 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No way can she keep you from seeing the kids. I agree with the others here, get a lawyer, get back to court, and get a schedule in writing. Make sure it includes regular visitation including overnight visits, as well as a division of holidays, birthdays.
2007-02-11 22:43:17 · answer #10 · answered by confused 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋