Thats the problem I hate to see her sad when he leaves her. I know they love each other very much.I even talked to the guy in private,and he told me that his wife had done nothing wrong,and he can't just up and leave cause he is bored. I have talked to my boyfriend about this but he tells me not to get involved with it,but she is my best friend. So how do I go about letting her know they may not ever be together the way she wants to be,or do you think he will give in in time and leave his wife for my friend. He is not at all happy in his marriage, He works days,his wife works nights. They even sleep in separate beds. He said he made a vow to his wife when they got married,but he is sleeping with my friend so that makes no sense. Someone please help me make sense of all of this. I am stuck in the middle of not saying anything to my friend because my boyfriend told me not to,and I want to say some thing cause she is my best friend. What do I do.
2007-02-11 12:30:57 · 21 answers · asked by kutebunns 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow that's really similar to what I've been through, but he wasn't married. My (now) boyfriend was dating this other girl last year, this was before we got together. Well he was happy but then I meant him (Tony) and we fell in love and it wasn't on purpose it just happened. And it took a while and I got hurt a few times but in the end we ended up together. And I know that doesn't happen in all cases but if this guy isn't happy with his wife and loves your friend then I have a big feeling that he will in time leave his wife. I think that for now you should not get involved, and just wait...I can bet you that your friend and this guy will end up together, you'll just have 2 wait and see!
2007-02-11 12:44:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married men who cheat are very savvy when it comes to convincing women of their undying love and awful marriage. I guess it's a little too late to tell your friend that she shouldn't have even attempted having a relationship with someone married. She is setting herself up for heartbreak and failure. If she really believes he will leave his wife, kids?, home, and security then she is up for a major disappointment. Even if he did...how long does she think it would be before he bored of her and looked else where? The separate bed thing is an old classic. I agree with your boyfriend about not becoming involved, but I also understand that how you want to protect your friend. Maybe you could just little by little leave subtle hints about how she deserves someone full time, and it must be really hard sharing a man.
2007-02-11 12:46:36 · answer #2 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boy was right do not get involved because she wont listen to you even if you know the truth behind it is... the married man is just using your friend for extra activities be honest. He told you that he wont leave his wife, so he loves his wife more than your friend which is why he wont leave her? SHe did nothing wrong then why is he with your friend? Obviously something is wrong with their marriage (not her necessarly because he is the one doing the wrong and not her so he is right about that part) He wont leave her just because he is boreD? Yeah so your buddy is just a toy that he uses when he is bored, and everyone loves their dolls dont they when they first get them and play with them? You loved your barbie when you were a kid right? Anyways my whole point is that he is using your friend, although the truth hurts you might hint it to her but thats about it. You shouldn't get involved between this married man and your pal because she will only dislike you more and go towards this man that is totally evil. Seriously like he isnt two timing your pal if they decide to be an item? He is cheating on someone who apperantly has nothing wrong with them but he is bored with her so he is screwing other people? You should mention something but thats about it dont make it your business because YOU will GET HURT by losing your pal. You mean good but listen to your boy.
2007-02-11 12:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by TOokieTook 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is probably not what you want to hear, but your friend has no business sleeping with a married man. And people wonder why there is so much divorce nowdays.
Talk to your friend and just try to explain that if he cheated on the wife, what would stop him from cheating on her?
There are enough single guys out there to go around for all the single women, they don't have to go after the married ones.
and as for the guy, he is even more to blame. He did make vows and they are supposed to mean something--- til death do they part, not just until he gets bored. he shouldn't be confiding their business to your friend.
i've found that when guys/gals cheat, they often make themselves out to be the partner that has it the roughest.
when actually they are going home to their mate and telling them "i love you" everyday.
2007-02-11 12:49:44 · answer #4 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's almost guarenteed she will wind up hurt. There is nothing you can do. If she wants to waste her time on a man who would cheat it's her problem. And he's not even saying he wants to leave, at least he's being honest telling her he won't, most would lie and say they do want to leave and keep making excuses to put it off.
So she knows he won't leave his wife. It's her choice if she's going to share a man. I pesonally wouldn't and have more respect for myself than that.
It's a shame she doesn't love herself enough to expect more out of a person who supposedly loves her. Of course he's happy. He's got a wife and a girlfriend on the side who will stay with him knowing he'll never make a commitment to her. He's got it made. Hopefully she comes to her senses eventually and wants more for herself. But you can't do anything to make her realize that except by being there for her and telling her she deserves better.
2007-02-11 12:37:52 · answer #5 · answered by nymom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's common in the Indian culture. Somali culture is the same. The parents generally don't accept their children marrying outside of our culture. It's even a hassle to marry outside a sub-sub-tribe let alone our ethnic group. So I think that the parents on both sides will probably have an issue with it, especially if the Indian guy is not Muslim. I don't think any Somali parent would accept their child marrying a non-Muslim. If they want to marry, they have to be prepared for a lot of criticism and rejection on both sides and to be aware of its affect on their children if they ever plan to have any. I think that the Somali parents, if they do oppose the union will probably still be involved in the children's lives but they may hear insulting things from the extended family. I'm not sure about the Indian parents but they will probably be considered to be only African to some of the Indian family.
2016-05-23 23:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has you and the GF snowed into believing his crap. I'll put it to you this way....I hope she has plenty of money, because if the wife finds out about this affair she can sue your friend, and God forbid they have any children. All this man really wanted was a piece of butt, and your friend gave it. More than likely he is not going to leave her, if he has not left her yet. You can best believe that he knows when the wife finds out about them (your friend and the husband) she is going to be a rather wealthy woman, she will also be able to receive money from her husband til the day he dies, or until she remarries....depending on laws in the state. and your friend will also have to pay up. And you should warn your friend.....he will cheat on her as well. The husband man.....does not love her......he just loves what she allowed him to have.
2007-02-11 12:53:51 · answer #7 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you that he may love her but he will never leave his wife. This is not your problem and your friend will have to learn the hard way. If he loved your friend like he said he does- he would have left by now. He is not going to leave. There rarely ever do.
2007-02-11 12:41:39 · answer #8 · answered by Ya man!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
chances are your friend is going to get hurt and even if he left his wife for her whose to say he wont cheat on her & what about his wife who might be and probably will be terribly hurt by the betrayal and the deception. having different work schedules is a poor excuse. all that has done has given him the time open to have an affair. of course he acts in love with your friend. hes enjoying himself or he wouldn't be doing it. but even after all that i wouldn't say too much to discourage it. you might let her know you are concerned but whatever the outcome you will be there for her.
2007-02-11 12:59:26 · answer #9 · answered by kattz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what he's told her, if he hasn't left his wife and filed for divorce, he isn't going to. It doesn't matter what pathetic stories he tells for sympathy about his wife; they are all just excuses.
He may love your friend but he loves having it both ways even more.
As for you, the best you can do is be there for her when she finally realizes he's never going to leave his wife for her. Be supportive and don't judge her.
2007-02-11 12:35:42 · answer #10 · answered by §Sally§ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋