Are people really happy and relieved when they get divorced or is it all a front?I have been married for about 8 months now and I know they say things are rocky in year one,but I feel things are getting too ugly.There have been talks of divorce 3 times already and I feel she is not happy with me.On the other hand,she gets mad at me for giving her the option to leave and be happy,but for the life of me she is not happy.I REALLY try hard but sometimes I feel as though I am sleeping with the enemy.I feel like she will do me good if she moves on and is happy as I have come to accept that I can't make her happy.There is also alot of bitterness on both our parts.Many times when I feel we need to address the issue and talk to someone she likes to sweep things under the carpet like its not a big deal.But deep down inside,I know there is alot of bitterness on both our parts and we are headed for an erruption.But will divorce bring happiness?I want her to be happy with me or not.
2007-02-11 11:55:34 · 11 answers · asked by Blk Angel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, the first two years are the hardest when you are getting to know each other but when you go to the alter is when you realize you have the person that you can be a partner too. Through good and bad. The vowl should also say to agree or disagree because it is 2007 afterall.
If you loved each other just 8 months ago well what changed? What's causing the strain? Guessing because your newlyweds it's probably money. Be patient, money will come.
Do not have children, not even on your best Darn day until you are completely sure you can count on each other with your life in hand.I mean it. So many lives would be ruined. and the baby would not make things better.
Paper and pencil work.Write issues down, solutions then take action.
Be a friend first, even if the marraige ends just think youv'e crossed paths importantly this lifetime and value her.
If it's in-laws------ you can move with your wife, she's your's now.
2007-02-11 12:33:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It don't sound good. Yes, marriage is full of ups and downs. It hasn't been a year yet and what you are describing is someone that NEEDS someone to make them happy. Of course, no one is happy all the time, the problem is, and will continue to be, that you are the reason for unhappiness. It gets worse, when she finally does feel happy, it will be in spite of your efforts to "drag her down". That may explain the bitterness. You can see already that its your fault that she can't decide if she is better of with you or without you. If things turn out good for her it will be because she overcame you. If they turn out bad, it was because of you.
I usually don't quote statistics, but some findings from a survey quoted from a physiology journal that I read were interesting. I don't remember the exact numbers but the survey was large like 10,000 divorced people interviewed when they divorced and then again 4 years later. The study has been conducted every 10 years since 1950. It seems that time away from marriage changes things. Six months after divorce, 80 % said they were better off. Four years later, the same respondents reversed their stance and 80% said they were better off when they were married. Better off was described as emotionally, physically, and financially. The survey has shown the same results every century it has been conducted. Take it for what it is worth. Good luck.
2007-02-11 20:26:59 · answer #2 · answered by The Central Scrutinizer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce can make you feel really calm... I was separated for 9 months before we got officialy divorced after that day I felt different... I felt free, calm,,, but once in a while I get very sad - depressed like something is missing... of course I used to live with this guy for 8 years I guess that's long time to readjust... but to tell you the trut I don't miss the fight and arguments... I do need though someone to love and vice versa so I think it's for the better!!! and I am sure that someone will come along...
2007-02-11 20:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce can bring relief and yes, possible happiness if things were bad. Its all an adjustment. Wow, 8 months and already feeling this way. Hmm not good. I would suggest a counselor if possible. I know you said she swept things under the rug but you could suggest it. I hope the best for the both of you.
2007-02-11 20:01:20 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are safer ,calmer and more at peace with themselves .Divorce is hard .The ones who become "Happy " are the ones who had their self -esteem taken from them .
They were abused and put down .To say they are happy is subjective .to say they are better off is a fact .
A person must be happy with themself before others can SEE that they truly are .
2007-02-11 20:07:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me it does bring happiness, but the happiness comes after afew weeks when you get used to not being with the person you divorced. Those first few weeks you have to adjust to your new life and that means you will be alittle stressed out but after you get used to being without that person you are VERY happy.
2007-02-11 20:14:04 · answer #6 · answered by Blueberry. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dont thing divorce is the answer you need to go to a marriage counsilor so you can work things out it isnt healthly for her to ignore what she is feeling Good luck
2007-02-11 20:11:11 · answer #7 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i got divorced yes, i was happy and relieved about it, but then again i was married to someone that was not good
each person is different
2007-02-11 20:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce doesn't always bring happiness.You can try counceling and don"t give up so quick...Relationships take work .
2007-02-11 20:27:35 · answer #9 · answered by morganann52 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is over and you both have to accept it.
2007-02-11 20:08:54 · answer #10 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋