I am 37 and my wife is 32. We've been married for about 4 years. We get along well. My wife wants a baby alot and I don't. What should we do?
2007-02-11 11:08:03 · 18 answers · asked by ocean 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Did you ever talk about the children issue before getting married?
Will you ever want children? Your wife has the right to know this. Can you make a compromise?
Will you want a baby in the future? If so, you and your wife should talk about a time that is right for both of you.
What are your reasons for not wanting a baby? Do you feel they are justified, or just excuses?
Although it is completely up to you two, I would say have a baby. It is one of the best experiences. It can be scary, but very rewarding.
If you two can't reach an agreement, go to a counselor together. Since you have been married for 4 years, I assume you two get along well and are happy together. You wouldn't want your marriage to end because of this.
2007-02-11 11:16:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is a hard one. I mean if you don't want a baby and do it just for her then the baby may end up paying the price or your marriage. Then again, if you don't have a baby your wife will never have one in her life and I couldn't ever imagine not having my own baby! Maybe you need more time before having a baby, but remember after the age of 35 your wife becomes high risk if she becomes pregnant. So I would think it would need to happen soon.
2007-02-11 19:14:28 · answer #2 · answered by lees girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you guys discuss children before marriage? Its pretty universal that it most societies you get married then you have kids. Most people want to leave their legacy behind. And if you want to leave some kind of residue here on this earth after you're gone then having kids is the way to go. You're wife is running more risks the longer she waits to have kids. Down-syndrome runs higher with women that are older. Plus her eggs come to an end, unlike your reproducing mechanisms. So if you absolutely don't want to have kids, what about adopting? Or what about other options? Compromise and communication is key to this issue between you and you're wife or this could turn ugly.
2007-02-11 19:19:20 · answer #3 · answered by unsure 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 35 having a baby becomes more difficult and a bit more dangeous. (Very generally speaking) So she is probably really anxious to get going on it.
If she wants a baby badly and you don't give it to her it could mean the end of your marriage. Are you willing to risk that?
If it is something she really wants and you love her then I think you should put her needs before your own.
Children are a wonderful gift and I think you will be surprised to see how great being a father can be.
2007-02-11 19:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by Esperenza 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to discuss the pro and cons of bringing a new baby into both of your lives. Remember it is for a life time commitment.
You both will have to want a baby and share in the responsibilities of raising a baby.Good luck.
2007-02-11 19:16:33 · answer #5 · answered by chilly bean 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Considering fertility decreases with age, I would suggest just going for it. Do you want kids eventually? If yes, then why wait. You will change your mind once your wife is PG and then you'll wonder why you waited. If you don't want kids at all then you should tell your wife and let her decide if she wants to stay with you or fulfill her dream of motherhood.
Perhaps see a counsellor
2007-02-11 19:12:01 · answer #6 · answered by Katie G 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is what my husband and I did
We let god decided. We stop using birth control and see what happen. It took three years. I believe babies come when they are suppose to.
Good luck
You also can do what teenagers think is a form a birth control, the pull out method
2007-02-11 19:26:23 · answer #7 · answered by Halo Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you talk to her before you got married about if you wanted kids or not If you said you did and you lied then why weren't you just honest having a kid is supposed to be a mutual decision. you can't have half a kid. talk to her before it ends in divorice. This is a major life decision for both of you that is going to effect the baby also.
2007-02-11 19:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, considering your wife's age, she's at the right age to have kids....over 35 years old is risky to have kids...so don't wait tooo long.
2007-02-11 19:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't see yourself having a baby anytime in the next few years, you should do the honorable thing and divorce her ASAP so she can follow her dream.
2007-02-11 19:16:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋