what is "black" enough?

Question

this is serious. my best friend is white and his wife is black. in conversations over the years we have talked about race relations within their families concerning their union. she has told me she is dimissed by several of her relatives for not being what she calls 'black enough' because of her taste in music,movies,friends and men. i have known her longer than him and knows she has varied taste in all aspects of her life.what is 'black'?

EDIT: ticklemeblue,
saying she is embracing 'white culture' is almost as crazy as saying she is not black enough. she is not turning her back on her 'culture', i feel she just chooses to embrace and experience everything she can from whatever sources and not allow herself be pigeonholed into living as 'black' society dictates.

yes, neo. i like her very much. she is a very classy lady; a good wife,mom,daughter and friend.

Answer 1

Black enough??

Well, it's like asking what is strong enough. An elephant may find an ant very weak but the ant, as we all know, is a mountain-mover in its world. They work harder than us for crying out loud.

So, who's black enough? White enough? Man enough? Rich enough? Tough enough?

Hmm. If you are tough but not tough enough to survive a tour in Iraq, are you really tough enough?

All I'm saying is that it is all relative.

A black person who has lived in a population that is all black may find people who have not lived in their community as "not black enough"? But who the heck made him the judge?

What about Africans who were born in Africa and have lived there? Are they black enough? If an afro-american were to bring such a person to the 'hood, they would not be black enough. But who cares? The guy from the 'hood is not african enough to the African dude.

It's all realtive dude.

The key point is this: Are you a complete person or working towards becoming a complete person?

And what do I mean by complete person? You really can't define it cause it encompases all that humans are capable of - including that which we have not discovered.

But is she pursuing life and using her talents to the best of her ability - whether personally, professionally or socially (i.e. family, friends, community at large)?

Is she selfish or a person that lives and let's others live?

Those are the key issues. Your experiences in life define you. So, the issue of black enough is garbage. In fact, we will not solve racial issues if we all concentrate on being black and white and asian and african enough. That's rubbish.

Knowing one's history and culture is good but holding on to that and refusing to see other point of view is self-centered. Such a person still needs growth to get to the place where they can see beyond themselves, beyond their 'hood, beyond their town, beyond their country, beyond their race.

There is no such thing as black enough. You could have the attitude of a high class socialite and still be black or a homeless guy and still be black. It's not about color. It's about life -- and where ever life takes you, that's what makes you.

I am not all up to date with the things that blacks find trendy - but who cares. That doesn't matter to me. I want a nice job, great pay, vacation time, a happy family and to help keep my larger family together and happy too. And I don't see how skin color plays into that.

Did you ever hear of the phrase, "I might not get there with you?"

Sometimes you need to leave some people behind as you progress in life - not caste them away - but just realize that they don't get it, at least not yet.

Answer 2

I totally understand this one. I listen to ALLLLLLL kinds of music, my boyfriends is always making a joke about the country or rock music I listen too.People use to call me and oreo when I was younger, black on the outside and white on the inside. I heard it all the time when I was younger. I was friends with EVERYONE! We live in a totally different world than our parents did and we have the opportunity to learn about different cultures with classmates instead of hopping on a plane or reading a book. Since I didn't hang with the black people all the time I was and oreo. Since I can put two sentences together properly and speak with intelligence then I'm a valley girl. Not being black enough is just an ignorant persons state of mine.

Answer 3

That just simply means...they feel she relates more to the ways of white people...thus turning her back on the black culture. She should be free to embrace both....but you can understand that there are some blacks that are sensitive regarding this....it hasn't been that long ago, that black's were severly abused by the white community....so it feels hurtful when a sister or brother of the black community would want to embrace any of the ways of the white culture....

Answer 4

African Americans (those that are descendants of slaves) do have a indigenous culture, that envolves certain music, clothes etc... At the same time everyone is an individual first, and she has every right to be who she, the people that say she isn't Black enough are just being ignorant.

Answer 5

Whats black enough? Loving all things black, the music, the style, movies, shows etc.. You cant love anything thats beyond the race. Now me im not what you call "black" enough. I like rock music and I love aeropostle and abercombie and fitch. Not all blacks are the same, some people think they are.

Answer 6

Race is a social construct. Being "black" or having any sort of ethnic/racial/gender identity has meaning only to individuals. There is no collective understanding of what that means outside of stereotypes and generalizations...which obviously come with their own pitfalls as you have witnessed first hand.

Answer 7

It probably is similar to what I go through being half White and half Spaniard. I'm not "ENOUGH" to be fully accepted by either and I am accused of thinking that I am better then or Whitewashed. It's stupid and ridiculous and your friend should ignore those people.

'-)

Answer 8

The bottom line is she isn't the stereotype whites aren't allowed to use when speaking about blacks, but if you don't fall into those stereotypes you aren't black enough by their standards.

Answer 9

According to black people, I act "too Japanese".

Answer 10

I think what they are referring to is "culture"