sexuality confusion?

Question

Ever since i can remember i've had crushes on guys, liked them, flirted, and fell in love with two. But in the beginning of fall i was diagnosed with heavy depression and one thing that sparked it was this fear almost and thought of me being a lesbian? I think maybe it was because my boyfriend I have now changed so much and i feel like im dating a completely different person, so i might be thinking that im a lesbian because of my unhappiness with him to try to get out of the relationship. But then i thought back and remembered, that sometimes i do get turned on by girls, lesbian porn, and the thought of being with a girl in bed. The only problem is i've never had a crush on a girl, or ever wanted to pursue a relationship with one. But im scared, does me having a sexual attraction to girls but not an emotional mean that I could possibly be lesbian? I dont understand how before my sexuality was so defined as straight & suddenly i have this weird issue thinking that im lesbian?Please help

well im almost 18, and actually my depression cleared up alot so it's not so much a problem with that. But i've discovered a lot of things about myself dating back to my relationship with my dad and what not that might have a mental problem with me having a hard time trusting guys. My boyfriend has changed in a way where he was layed back fun loving, and now decides he wants to be a doctor and has become uptight, critical and basically doesn't make me laugh as much anymore. And i do have a pyscologist, and she sees it as when i get this insecurity of being a lesbian, its almost a hint to myself that i'm not happy in my relationship, but not actually meaning that im lesbian? Im just confused, i thought being lesbian was sexual/emotional attraction to females only. I somewhat feel sexual but absoloutly noo emotional towards them, i have never been intrigued to date a women, nor would i want to, but im just afraid that the whole sexual issue could mean something more deep down?

Answer 1

There are a lot of possible answers, but the most important thing is to remember that what might make sense for other people isn't what is going to be right for you. These kinds of questions are for you to find the answer to on your own, and not for anyone else to decide.
That being said, I went through the same thing when I was high school, and I went to a counselor for several years. Going to see a counselor doesn't mean you have anything wrong with you. It's just someone objective that you can talk to who will keep your concerns confidential and help you think things through.
Don't be afraid to tell your counselor what you are going through. Also, if you are worried about your parents finding out, you can always ask your family doctor to help recommend the counselor so that your parents are not likely to question it. It is extremely common for teens to see counselors, too.

Answer 2

you didn't indicate your age but you sound young. youth have lots of questions about sexuality, which is very normal. you are developing your understanding about sex (and that is confusing for everyone!) you mentioned your boyfriend has changed, how? if you were diagnosed with severe depression he might feel overwhelmed with your diagnosis and be pulling away from the relationship. this doesn't mean that you are a lesbian. he might just be afraid he cannot handle this relationship now. as for being turned on by different sexual pictures i would not say definitely you are or are not a lesbian. i would concentrate on finding out the cause of the depression thru therapy/medication then focus on your sexuality. once you have this under control then you can figure out which "team" you are playing for. don't think about it too much now. work on your mental health. good luck!!

Answer 3

This could be anything, including being related to your depression.

What you need to keep in mind, though, is that there is nothing wrong with being heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. And none of them is a choice, either.

I'd suggest that you contact your local sexual health clinic and ask for contact information for a local organization that can help you to understand all of these variations. These groups do exist.