Many people, not all, but many people say that it is too early to leave my husband. In some instances, I definitely agree. We have been married for seven months; we have sex once a month and argue/disagree a lot. My husband is almost forty...I don't understand why he doesn't know what he wants out of life...he's cheated, apologized and some days treats me like a queen. However, lately, he seems to be losing respect for me. Instead of me dealing with it the mature way or the way most women would handle it, I end up leaving content with receiving temporary happiness from elsewhere. I am a Christian, but I am tired of my husband taking me through so many emotional roller coaster rides. I'm pregnant now and I am really scared that my child won't be born into a loving marriage. My husband gets upset with me because he says that I always think that when we're mad at each other, he no longer loves me. How can I think he loves me when he ignores me and treats me mean?
2007-02-11 10:44:35 · 9 answers · asked by PEACHFACE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He cheated on you after only 7 months of marriage and your only getting once a month? That is SO messed up. I understand your a christian, but God doesn't expect us to be any ones doormat. Not to mention he has committed the #1 offense that even God says it's ok to get a divorce over. I say cut your losses and move on. It doesn't sound like he is very invested in making this work. Good luck.
2007-02-11 10:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by mccmb02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its too early to leave when the two of you are obviously not working. What is the point in wasting more time? I never understand why people tell others to talk, and seek therapy. I feel if he has cheated, then its over. There is no way to fix that. Its a done deal, there is no trust and when u guys communicate, its argueing.
The two of you should still be in the honey moon stage, and u r only having sex once a month. There are just too many things wrong here. Maybe one leads to another, but it appears to be over. I would move on and find a worthwhile relationship.
good luck to u.
2007-02-11 19:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couples get mad at each other. It's a fact of life. Your husband needs to work on letting go of his anger and not hold a grudge. You are pregnant and I think you may be a little more sensitive right now. I think that when two people love each other they should work it out. Try looking at what you are doing wrong in the marriage and work on that. It might help him see that you do love him and make him want to be a better husband.
2007-02-11 19:21:02 · answer #3 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
Yes i feel it is way too early in your marriage to leave your husband and to file for divorce over this. You need to seek counseling for you and for your marriage in this case and a Christian counselor at that. What church do you attend? Talk to the pastor of the church for help and counseling in this marriage as well and ask him to pray with you about it too. I also suggest you but the book called The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian . It is sold in Wal mart and Target and read that book. That should help you some. Can you find it in your heart to fogive your husband for his past and what he has done? Is he sorry and has he asked you to forgive him and give the marriage another chance? Ask your husband if he still loves you and tell him how you are feeling. Really hon you dont have grounds for divorce right now. You need to stay true to your vows and work on your marriage. Be the wife you know to be and work on changing you and your views on this so that you can be the wife that you know you should be in this marriage. Also go to http://www.marriagetoday.org and email them about this and see what Jimmy and Karen have to say about this and what advice and help that they can offer you. Also pray about things and ask God for his wisdom and guidance through all of this. I am sure God wants to heal and restore you and your marriage. Are you will to let God help you restore things?
2007-02-11 19:19:32 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's just one of you. It sounds to me like you both have a problem communicating with each other. He needs to understand your fears and insecurities, while you need to see what is keeping him from a life he sees as fulfilling.
Have you talked about seeing a counselor? Ideally, you should go together, but if he won't go, it could also help you to have an impartial third party. It's amazing the light that can be shed by just another perspective.
I doubt you have fallen out of love with him, or you wouldn't be here asking for advise. Do yourself and your baby a favor and trust the man you fell in love with is still with you. You just haven't "talked" in a while.
Good luck.
2007-02-11 18:57:14 · answer #5 · answered by jessnbethsmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably does love you, but is facing his own demons and taking it out on you. He definitely needs to appreciate someone like you in his life, the only way to do this, is to stand up for yourself and quit being the nice wife he is acustomed to. If he gets on your case, leave and stay with a firend, don't tell him where. He needs a reality check as he is really taking you for granted and playing massive mind games on you.
2007-02-11 18:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by St.Jeb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't take divorce lightly but in this case a divorce is in order simply because you don't have a marriage and it sounds like you didn't have a good relationship before the "marriage".
I think you both have a lot of growing up to do.
2007-02-11 18:49:19 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think both of you should go and see a marriage councilor,Try to salvage your marriage for the sake of your child.
2007-02-11 18:54:52 · answer #8 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop being a baby. your man rules you-accept it or leave, that simple.
2007-02-11 18:57:25 · answer #9 · answered by clay 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋