i am an extreme procrastinator what should I do.?

Question

I can't seem to stop procrastinating. Everytime I tell myself that I am going to do work, i don't do it. I have hhad this problem since the beggining of h.s. I get this weird feeling in my stomach like what is the point of studying. this is bc everytime i study i don't get the actual grades that i studied so hard for. and it happens everytime. i try to study, i study late because of my habit and i always get alow grade. i have tried early studying before, but i am always so burned out from studying so hard and trying to memorize everthing that i put it of till later and the cycle repeats. I feel like i am going no where and i have no passion for learning anymore that i did when i was a kid. I get this anxiety feeling and a fear of that time will run out on me before I have time to memorize everything. i memorize so many things at once that i don't see the correlation of everything. I think that I am going to so well on the test and i always do terrible. what is my problem

Answer 1

What you're going through is really crappy. And don't let anyone tell you you're supposed to feel good about it. It sucks, it hurts, and your life isn't going to get better right away.

This might sound like I'm telling you to give up, but I'm not.

Bear with me, because the only way to a happy ending, is by facing some ugly truths first.

There's nothing wrong with you. You're not malfunctioning. When trying your best never makes any difference, its natural to quit. The human mind works on a reward system. Take away the reward, and the deepest part of you just shuts down.

Good grades used to be your reward. Now that reward is gone. That wouldn't be so bad if you could just get the reward back by working harder. But you've tried studying yourself to death, and you're starting to realize that the reward will never come. Its only natural for you to stop trying.

But you also know if you just give up, things only get worse. Your grades might not be great now, but if you completely give up, your grades will get *really* bad. You won't get into college. You'll end up working at a boring job forever, and never have enough money to have fun.

So you can't give up.

But nothing you do matters, so why keep trying?

The answer to that is very hard, but before I tell you the answer, first, lets look at the bad answers:

BAD ANSWERS:

Lie #1 --- "Its your fault".

No, it's not your fault. You didn't start procrastinating until *after* the bad grades started.


Lie #2 --- "Its your negative attitude that makes you fail."

That's crap. It's not like one day you woke up and decided to be miserable. You used to be happy. You didn't become miserable until *after* the bad grades started.

Beware of positive thinking. Pretending you're happy when you're not just gets you in the habit of lying to yourself about how you feel. That might work for a few years, but people who do that always self-destruct someday. They get ill. They get addicted to food or drugs or people. They become easily manipulated by people who tell them what they want to hear.

So don't fall for the line "just think positive and your problems will go away".


Lie #3 --- "You fail because you don't like yourself enough."

That's also crap. You don't hate yourself. What you hate is the fact that you have no control over your grades. If you slack off, you get bad grades. If you study hard, you get bad grades. So why bother trying?


Lie #4 --- "You fail because you don't do smart things like make lists."

There's a reason that advice won't help you. The reason is because it ignores the real problem. We shouldn't talk to you like you don't know what to do. You told us you used to be a good student, so we should already know that you know all the right things to do. Making lists doesn't help, because you just procrastinate making the lists.

SO WHAT'S THE GOOD ANSWER?

I spent a lot of time telling you the bad answers.

So what's the real answer?

THE REAL ANSWER:

You procrastinate studying because you have no reason to study.

Deep inside yourself, you're screaming: "studying can't get me better grades, so you why study?"

That's the question. Why study?

The answer is: You have to invent your own reason.

And it has to be a real one.

If your parents are nice, do it for them. Make them proud of how hard you try. But most parents are only happy if you get A's, so that probably won't work.

Are you interested in the stuff you learn in school? If you are, then just read the books because you're interested. Stop trying to memorize the facts. Just read the facts because they are fascinating.

Here's your last resort, and only do this if you have no other reason to fall back on: Are you afraid of working at McDonalds your whole life? If you are, then let that fear drive you. You might never get an A again, but you will probably get good enough grades to get a better job.

But the real reason for you to keep studying is because of what happened to me and my brother

HAPPY ENDING:

Let me tell you a story.

Its about me and my brother.

ME:

When I was in high school I was a cocky little nerd who got straight A's without even trying. When I was 4 years old I learned to read. By the time I was 7 years old I was reading at a 7th grade level. I read so many books that I knew everything years before they taught it in class. I didn't have to listen to the teachers, because I already taught myself everything. I daydreamed in class. I laughed at people like you because you worked so hard. I scored so high on the SAT and the ACT I got lots of scholarships.

BUT HERE'S THE THING:

Because working hard always paid off, I never learned to work hard when it didn't pay off. In college I got B's and C's so I stopped studying. I flunked out. I spent the last 8 years working a shitty job. I got fired last year. I'm still unemployed.

MY BROTHER:

When my brother was 4 years old, he discovered he was dyslexic. He couldn't read. He wrote letters backward. He sucked at everything. School was so hard for him. He needed my mom's help with everything. When he went to college, he lost all his scholarships. He got fired from his first engineering job because they put him at a station that was especially hard for dyslexic people.

BUT HERE'S THE THING:

My brother never gave up.

My brother spent his whole life being just like you. He worked so hard for so little reward. So when things got tough he didn't wimp out like me. By the time he was a senior in high school, he got straight A's. Even though he lost all his college scholarships, he graduated with a 3.52 average. And even though his dyslexia got him fired from his first engineering job, he didn't give up.

He spent years making computer graphics in his free time. He got so good at it the FormZ company gave him a job doing tech support.

Now he is rich, successful, and I am living with him because I'm homeless. All those years I made fun of him for being slow and stupid, and now he's the one laughing at *me*.

So, don't stop studying. You might never get good grades, but you will get an iron will to survive, and someday you will pity the people who never learned to deal with hardship like you did.

Answer 2

Write lists of exactly what it is you have to do. Example: read chapter 15 in history book, answer sample test questions 1-5, etc.

Or make a list of all the things you have to read. Make another list of all things you have to write.

Break your tasks down into small, manageable lists and attack each item one by one. Try not to think too much about the big, overwhelming goal (get an A in history, for example) until you get some of those small tasks done.

Reward yourself after you get through a few of the small tasks.

Seriously, you have to try as many different possibilities as you can. You probably don't learn best the way you've been taught to study in school. You have to find what gels with your particular learning style.

You don't procrastinate because you want to. You procrastinate because you're frustrated and don't understand why you're doing what you have to do.

Answer 3

Break the huge stuff into the smaller parts, and set a timetable for yourself to do the stuff by.

Answer 4

Get some rest, enjoy the evening, and Think about it TOMORROW (ha ha)

Answer 5

make a to do list.
have some self esteem and self confidence.

Answer 6

ill tell you later. lol