that are with us about half the time.Are friends invited us to go camping where there would only be room for us and our four year old,he is upset about it.but would it be okay to go just the 3 of us??
2007-02-11 10:21:06 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It wouldn't be ok. The girls are on their most sensitive time and if you guys do so they will feel really bad. Please remeber the girls are part of his story and you accepted the whole thing.
2007-02-11 10:24:52 · answer #1 · answered by C6 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depends on whether it would be time they usually spend with you. If it is, I wouldn't go--- If you wouldn't have them during that time anyway, then it seems no harm would be done. Of course, if your husband is upset, it wouldn't be fun anyway.
Check and see if you can rent your own campsite near your friends and take the older kids with you. Camping is such a great family activity, and is especially beneficial to teens as it gets them away from a lot of the 'non-reality' that fills their lives so much of the time. Its a great time for bonding-- and can be so worth all the trouble involved in preparing for it, etc. I'd definitely try my hardest to include the older kids--- even if it meant not going where your friends are.
They're at such a crucial stage--- try your best to help your husband be as close to them as possible, especially in settings such as these. The benefits are immeasurable.
PS On reading some of the other responses, I must take issue with them. These kids ARE part of your family--- its not you need time for "your" family not including them. (I'm not saying that is how YOU feel- just some of the people who answered) When you marry someone who has kids already, you are getting all of them and should be prepared to open your heart to these kids every bit as much as those who took birth through your body. Nothing will mess up a kid more than feeling like an outsider in his parent's home. Nothing will mess up a relationship more than making a parent choose between his children and his spouse and "new" family.
if the teens do not wish to go, that is different, providing they can stay at their mom's and you can make up the time with them doing something else.
They are ALL your children, even if you are not the one ultimately in charge of making decisions for them.
2007-02-11 10:34:58 · answer #2 · answered by Rani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is if you want to be a family then you stick with all of the kids. also do you and the 16 &14 yr old get along? if you think that they would ruin your trip because they dont like you or dont get along with you then id say go tell your husband why take them if they dont want to go. Or plan your own camping trip for all of you and invite your friends seeing as the 16 & 14 year old has school I would make it a weekend trip if its something they enjoy.
2007-02-11 10:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by sabrina d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha--OMG, you're serious!! Aren't you?? You two don't have one child--you have three. And it's your thinking that his kids from a prior marriage are extra baggage is detestable. Of course he's upset--he should be. You went into this relationship knowing that he had kids and it is your responsibility to treat all three children as if they were all your own. I bet you wouldn't even consider the invitation if the two teenagers were your bio kids. I think he should take the two teenagers and go on the camping trip and leave your butt at home. Man, I'm MAD. You should be ashamed of yourself!!
2007-02-11 10:46:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is absolutely no way that you can take the other children then you just have to go with the 3 of you. However, if the older 2 are due to be with you it can cause problems for your husbands relationship with them. If going will cause a rift between them I think you should seriously consider doing somethink where all 5 of you can have fun. You need time with the 3 of you but not at the expense of breaking the relationship between you three and his other children
2007-02-11 10:25:35 · answer #5 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Of course it would be good for you to go with just the 3 of you. Teenagers be bored very easy and they may not even want to go. there is nothing wrong with go away sometimes without everyone in the house going. You deserve to have some time with your husband and child. I would put it in a nice way to the teenagers and tell them that they have limited room and that you will make sure that they are included in the future or that you will all do things together another time. You husbad is probably a good dad and just feels like he is leaving out the whole family, its ok to enjoy yourselves without the whole family. Take care Heather
2007-02-11 10:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am sorry some people have said nasty things to you. Your husband of all people should understand he has two family units. I am sure the older girls get to do thing with the mom they your girl does not. You should go and if you like it plan a trip with the extended family at a later date. By the way 16 and 14 year old girls are real "Fun" at a camp sight. Esp with the 16 and 14 year old boys.
2007-02-11 10:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by SHAy 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think it would be pretty sorry of the two of you to leave them at the house while the three of you go camping. I guess I am sort of baffled that this is even a question for you. Do you not have a close relationship with your step children?
2007-02-11 10:34:22 · answer #8 · answered by mccmb02 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. Because it would not be ok for you guys to take the 14 and 16 year old and leave the other child behind.
2007-02-11 10:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Better just pass this one up comepletely, or do YOU not want to take the older kids?? your a family, take them all or none. Would they like to go? if yes, then why not make your own trip & include everyone. This is a no brainer question.. I think you already know the right answer... Chances are the 16yr old doesnt want to go with his/her parents anywhere. but the 14 may or may not feel the same way. but again, take them all or pass the trip up comepletely.
2007-02-11 10:26:40 · answer #10 · answered by Melani A 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
put yourself in the kids position, how would you feel? i mean c'mon think about it its like your own family isnt even including you in what they do, to me if your a family you should be a family always not just sometimes when their space....dont leave him out but instead only go to your friends thing if your friend is willing to understand that you have a big family and therefore gotta travel with them
2007-02-11 10:28:16 · answer #11 · answered by GotAnswers? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋