What does it mean when people say marriage is hard work?

Question

I've heard this so often, but have always wondered exactly how you work hard at your marriage?

Wow, thanks for all the great answers!! Oh, and yes, I am married, which is why I wanted to know what was meant. I'm struggling a little and the advice I'm always given is "you have to work hard at a marriage." But no one has explained the work he and I have to do. So, thank you.

Answer 1

It means you can't sit back and take your mate for granted. You need to have integrity, confidence, be flexible, show affection, do some romantic things, have a positive attitude, and not sweat the small things, etc.

That's if you want a happy marriage and you have a partner that is willing to put forth a similiar effort.

And your odds of finding that person and being the person they need you to be are not very good.

Answer 2

It means sharing, caring,and supporting your partner even when you don't feel like it.It means helping each other out.Sometimes one of the partners will be having a crisis and the other has to carry the load of the other until the crisis passes.Many times you will have to put the needs of the other before your own.It also means that when you have differences both of you have to work together to solve them.Work in a marriage is a must and anyone that doesn't do their share will soon find out that a relationship will not last without both partners being involved.

Answer 3

I liked the answerer who said marriage is 100-100, it's not 50-50. You do have to give it your 100% effort, you can't do it half way and have it last. You have to compromise, communicate, be selfless, be considerate of your spouse, and frequently put his/her needs above your own. That's hard work, no matter how you look at it. There are many times I want to say something to my husband, but bite my tongue, because it won't do any good and will only make him angry. There are times I want to do something that I want to do, but he doesn't, so I won't do it. It's very hard work to keep a marriage going and strong, but the rewards are so worth it in the end!!!

Answer 4

Marriage involves a high level of commitment, compromise and effort. It requires alot of maintenance. There are going to be arguments, difference of opinions, i mean after all you are two different people, issues are going to crop up that you didn't even know exist. For a long term relationship like marriage to remain harmonious, you need to put the love and effort it requires. You need to be considerate, caring, understanding when your natural inclination at the time may be to not give a damn. ( now you see why so many marriages don't work) not many people are willing to be that selfless.

Answer 5

Obviously you are not married or you would know the answer to this question. Anytime you have two people stuck together forever, that live in the same house and share everything and are intimate with one anther you are going to inevitably have some problems that is why it is work. You have to try to get over your problems if you love this person (that's why it is work, you have to give a little to get a little).

Answer 6

I think it is because marriage is all about compromise, this means that a lot of times you are going to end up doing things you don't want to because your spouse wants to. I'm not talking about doing things you think is wrong, just things that you aren't so interested in but your spouse is. Like how I like playing sports but hate watching them, my husband likes to watch as much as he likes to play them so every now and then I go with him to a game or watch a game on tv with him. Of course this is just a small example, sometimes its more major things, like you want a certain kind of car when its time for a new one but he hates it but gives you your way even though he really wanted something else. Also there are going to be times that you just can't stand your spouse and want to just walk away and it seems like it would be so easy to, but at the same time you can't stand to hurt them so you stay and work things out. It is very hard to explain, you won't truly understand until you are married yourself one day.

Answer 7

It's the hardest work that you can ever have, you can go to your job and have your mind on your job but it last usually 8 hours a day. But marriage a 24 hour job and you have to be with this person 16 hours out of the day usually. You have to work on that trying to provide, trying to keep them happy, keeping your home in order, bills come pouring in, in laws, just a days work 7 days a week that you have to work on it. It just AIN"T what it's put up to be. You have a lot of patience kids crying, it just is the hardest job you'll ever have. 24/7 no days off for yourself, no time for yourself and sweetheart you ain't heard nothing yet.

Answer 8

it's hard work because you're used to living with yourself but when you're married, you're not only living with and for yourself. you have to adjust yourself to being with that other person all the time. there will be arguments you never had before. there will be compromises that will have to be made.

to work hard at yo marriage, you will have to come to agreements and try to figure out what is best for both of you and whatnot. maybe one person will have to give up a little more than the other. stuff like that.

Answer 9

because it's hard to learn to accept people's flaw, and to forgive people when they mess up. it's hard to share everything, especially the blankets and pillows.

I've been married for a year and a half and sometimes it's hard work. but that's only like 5% of the time. the other 95% is worth the hard work.

Answer 10

This means that marriage takes work and dedication and working through things together through good times and bad. We work hard at rour jobs to make more money and be successul we work hard to raise our kids right so why not work hard at our marriages to make them work and be successful.