My husband and cleaning...?

Question

I clean our house ALL the time. It doesn't bother me if I have the time to do so. I'm in nursing school and work a full time job so as you can imagine I cannot clean as much as I would like. I still cook him dinner everynight but its just impossible for me to do it all. When I ask him to do something he does it but not without a fight. He gets angry and he shows this through giving me the silent treatment. It makes me feel as though I don't do anything for him which is a fallacy. I have one day off a week and that is usually spent studying.

What can I do to help alleviate this useless fighting?

I just do not understand how he can act like its the end of the world for him to contribute. When I used to do it all, BY MYSELF, with no complaints.

Answer 1

stop cooking for him and if he asks what happened then you explain to him how in the 24 hours that you are given during the day you have to use that time to go to school and go to work and clean the house and still get some sleep, and since he does not help with certain aspects then you have to do them yourself and you started prioritizing, his eating is not a priority since he is an adult and can feed himself but the house can't clean itself

Answer 2

I have a similar problem in my home. My significant other works full-time, while i'm at home. I'm retired military (52) she's (57). She doesn't lift a goddamned finger to do anything around the house. I cook, clean, do laundry, ironing if needed etc. ect. you know the drill.
I also have her 25 year old daughter living here with us she too works a full time job. Both are in the medical profession.

They are perhaps the most disorganized messy people i've ever known in my life. It's a half the morning job picking up after them after they are gone to work. They won't eat dinner at the table they take the meal to their respective bedrooms finish eating while watching tv and just leave the dishes laying in the bedroom.

I've tried everything known to man except forcing them at gun point to pickup after themselves and nothing has worked. They get mad as hel l if i bring up the subject.

So i've given up trying to get any help from these two, but i'll tell ya if the right kind of woman came along i'd be gone from this place in a heartbeat.

Answer 3

Try not doing anything. Don't clean, don't cook, don't do sh**t. If he thinks its so easy to work a full time job and go to school and then have to come home and clean up not only your mess but his too he is full of sh**t. He thinks he's got it like that and he's treating you like garbage. Just play crazy like he does and if he gets angry let him, he'll get over it. Tell him that if he wants it clean then he needs to get off his fat @ss and clean up too. Just sit back and stop doing anything and see what kind of reaction you get. Remember, just because he has two balls swinging between his legs doesn't mean he is your master and you have to be his slave.

Answer 4

He's selfish and lazy but it's time he stepped up and took responsibility. Talk about rostering, sharing chores or claiming regular chores. He's taking advantage of you and that's not good for a loving relationship. This sort of thing breeds bitterness and could be the beginning of the end unless he behaves like an adult. It's not about helping you it's about him taking responsibility. Good luck, I think you're going to need it.

Answer 5

Are you sure you aren't married to my soon to be ex? Ok on another nore have you thought about hiring a cleaning service. Usually 2x's a month for $85.00

Answer 6

Don't participate. Since you know how he is about cleaning, either do it yourself or let it pile up. When he gets sick of tripping over things he might even volunteer to help!

Answer 7

explain that you have obligations that he doesn't. he must understand or you should think about other options.