What makes some women unable to breastfeed? Why can't they do it?

Question

I am 9 weeks pregnant with baby number two and after hearing some mothers horror stories about being unable to breastfeed or complete breastfeeding for a length of time I wonder why this is. I didnt have any difficulty with mine and I know that it differs from woman to woman and am just curious as to whether there are any particular reasons and what people's experiences were as none of these women have ever really discussed in detail what problems arose and then it would also help me to prevent any problems when I try to breastfeed again from September.
Thanks for all your answers i apologise in advance if this question causes offence but I am sincerely asking for experiences and advice. :)

Answer 1

I was unable to breast feed my son for no more than 2 weeks, then I expressed and mixed with formula for a further 10 days. I was unable to breast feed because I wasn't producing enough milk for my son, he lost too much weight. He also had jaundice so needed the fluid to flush it out of him, this is where the midwives realised that I was nearly starving him. This is something that runs in my family, my nan mum and sister all had the same problem. I was gutted that I couldn't breast feed, and I know you say you don't mean to offend, but I get so hurt and upset by all these do gooders that look down on people who bottle feed their children. I think they should take the time to find out why before they judge women like me. I was once feeding my son in mothercare, and there was three other mums in there all breast feeding. I felt so out of place and as though I was doing something to offend them!

Answer 2

There are some legitimate reasons women cannot breastfeed - true inability to produce sufficient milk, taking drugs/medical treatment that aren't safe for the baby - but these things are rare. The vast majority of women CAN produce enough milk and most drugs are compatible with breastfeeding or have safe alternatives. There are also a lot of things that can make breastfeeding more difficult - thrush, mastitis, baby struggling with latching, nipple confusion, mom having to go back to work early and pump, etc. Usually these obstacles can be surmounted if the mother is committed to making it work and goes to the right people for help. Most women who say they couldn't breastfeed really could have - they just didn't have good advice, support and encouragement. Sometimes a problem arises that makes breastfeeding painful. Usually this can be solved with good advice, but if the mother wasn't getting good advice she may have felt it wasn't solvable and formula was her only alternative. Many women struggle with low milk supply - sometimes they just think there's a problem when there isn't and sometimes there really is a shortage - and often the first solution offered by doctors, family, or friends is to give formula supplements, which just makes the situation worse. Some babies have problems latching on correctly at first - so then someone gives the baby a bottle to be sure they don't starve. Now baby is used to the bottle and has even more trouble latching on. Sometimes doctors will tell the mother she needs to wean or pump & dump while she takes a certain medication, when really the medication is probably safe or there is an alternative they could consider. I would say at least 90% of the women you have talked to who couldn't breastfeed or couldn't go as long as they wanted all had the same problem: lack of good advice and support. Whatever other problems they had could have been solved otherwise. I wouldn't necessarily say that to them, but in reality that's what's going on.

Answer 3

Hi.I had to go back into hospital when my baby was 10 days old because she was losing weight.She had to have a blood test to see if there was anything wrong with her (which was upsetting for me) but it turned out that I wasn't producing enough milk.She went on a diet of part breastmilk topped up with formula and she soon gained weight.Nobody tells you when you are pregnant that this can happen or why.You are just expected to be able to do it and when you can't it can be very upsetting and cause depression.I also had a 4 year old to look after so it may have been lack of sleep, stress, not eating properly, I still don't know to this day.I got very, very upset whenever I talked about it to anyone, but found it was actually a lot more common than anybody would lead you to believe. If it does happen to me again I will try not to think I'm a failure, and neither must you.Nobody really knows why it happens and if they at least get some breastmilk to start with that is the main thing.Try to express all you can to save you pain of long nursing sessions.This can also tire the baby (and you) too much.Ignore midwives who will insist you don't express before 6 weeks.If I'd done it when I suggested to her the problem would have been discovered a whole lot sooner, saving a lot of heartache and worry.Hope that helps and the very best of luck.

Answer 4

I don't know why some women are unable to breastfeed. I have my suspicions about my own experience, but one of my hypotheses is that my breasts grew so much (I went from a 34D to a 36FFF) that they were simply too big for my son to latch properly. Add to that an insufficient milk supply (once again, probably because there was simply too much tissue in my breasts--they didn't grow from engorgement, just got hard) and breastfeeding for me was a miserable experience. Sometimes it has nothing to do with desire and everything to do with physical limitation. Other times, real life gets in the way: some women pump breast milk in order to be able to work (I suppose breast milk from a bottle isn't real breastfeeding), some have so much stress (or vanity, or what have you) that they make the decision to switch to formula. Either way, it's a personal choice that no one should criticize.

Breastfeeding tends to be a sensitive topic, if only because there's a sense of failure if a mother is not able to breastfeed or makes the decision not to breastfeed. I've been told that I'm not a 'real mother' because I didn't breastfeed my son until he was a year old (although, once he got teeth, considering how he tore through bottle nipples I was grateful once again that I didn't). I've had to reassure friends whose milk supplies have dried up that they weren't failures as mothers by switching to formula. My advice is this: don't stress over it. Whatever decision you make, it will be the best one for you and you shouldn't have to take any abuse over making it. No matter what, your child will grow up just fine. Have faith that your decision is the best one for both you and your baby (I have no idea why women insist that they be consumed by motherhood to the point of having nothing else) and you won't feel guilty.

Answer 5

When I was pregnant with my first daughter(now 2) I had to stop breast feeding when she was 6months.I could breast feed but I developed overactive thyroid during the pregnancy and my medication was passing through my milk to my daughter, My daughter had to have regular blood tests and I thought it unfair, medically I was told 6 months is sufficient to get lots of good nutrients so I made my decision to put her on the bottle. I will be 38weeks pregnant this Friday and I have had an operation regarding my thyroid so I will be breast feeding again. Because when I delivered my first daughter in the last 1/2 hour of labour I had 2 injections of Pethidine. She was very tired and sleepy and although was checked and ok she wouldn't latch on. She was delivered at 18.17 and it wasn't until late the next day that she actually fed. The nurses kept making me try and feed her and she just wasn't interested. The staff made me feel very incapable, uneasy and like I was a child, I was 27. I had nurses trying to stimulate my breast so she would latch on and I was so close to just giving in. I'm so glad I didn't but I can understand why some people would just give up and use the bottle.

Answer 6

This is really interesting!

For many its lack of support and help. Breastfeeding is a learned skill and you need help to get it established from your midwife or breastfeeding counsellor.

My mum tried to breastfeed me when I was born back in 1971, but back then breastfeeding was seen as old-fashioned and hippyish. The only support she got was one afternoon where the midwife and a couple of nurses sat with her and tried to get me to latch on (Apparently I wouldn't!). They just shrugged and told my mum she "had no milk" and she should give me formula.

My mum was bitterly disappointed and when my brother was born in 1978 she didn't even try to breastfeed him.

I had my first baby in November last year and was determined to breastfeed. My mum was worried about what had happened to her and as I'd has no milk leakage at all in pregnancy I was also worried I would "have no milk".

I needn't have worried as my son started suckling straight away within an hour of being born (the midwives helped me latch him on and I had loads of support from them). When I told my Midwife about my mum's experience she shook her head and said that was what it was like "back then" and that my mum hadn't been supported properly.

Your milk doesn't come in until a few days after the birth and then its stimulated by the baby's suckling. So if my mum had been encouraged maybe to pump her milk and syringe feed me for a few days her milk would probably have come in and she'd have been able to feed me fine.

She's been sad for the last 35 years thinking she "failed" as a mother and a woman by not being able to breastfeed her kids and was pleased when I told her what my midwife said.

Some women have genuine medical reasons why they can't breastfeed - they are told they don't produce enough milk, or they are ill etc but an awful lot of problems can be solved by being shown how to latch your baby on, and being educated about what to expect from a breastfed baby. Things like oral thrush (my son's had it and gave it to me also!) are easily treated and milk can be expressed so a partner or someone else can give the baby a night feed or a feed when the other is out - this all comes down to support from your midwife, breastfeeding counsellor, Health Visitor etc. Some women just seem to give up rather than work through easier problems and then say they "couldn't" breastfeed, which I think is sad.

I'm still breastfeeding my son and its a great experience, I'm so glad I've been able to do it.

Answer 7

My mum wanted to breastfeed all 5 of us, but never produced a drop!

While I am breastfeeding my 7 month old daughter, many other mums are not as strong willed... When my daughter was only putting on weight very slowly, every health visitor I saw suggested giving her a bottle, and I had to actually seek out a support group for a bit of reassurance. Every time I had any queries the HV suggested a bottle, even if it was not feeding related. To this day they manage to look surprised when I have to explain (again) that she doesn't have a bottle!!! I know they mean well, but they are supposed to be encouraging breastfeeding.

Answer 8

Not sure why it would cause offence as it is the most natural thing in the world after creating the baby! I was devastated at not being able to breastfeed either of my babies, as I am extremely extremely heavy breasted.

I could not take my bra off and hold my baby under my nipple, my arms were not long enough!! I tried nursing lying down which was OK for a week or two, but it is impossible to go and lie down in the middle of town, or church or restaurants.

I expressed milk for three months for both babies and it really annoyed when all the earth mothers assumed that it was formula and that I did not want to do the best for my babies.

If you can breastfeed I wish you all the best and if you cannot do not give yourself a hard time over it. As a doctor pointed out to me, you do not see 50% of the children in the playground healthy because they were breastfed and and 50% sickly and ill because they were not!

Answer 9

There is nothing offensive about breastfeeding. It is a beautiful and natural bond between mother and child.

My wife was fine with our first child but found out with our 2nd that he was not getting enough nutrition and we had to use a supplement. Our 3rd child had serious health problems that required a special diet so she was unable to breastfeed him. So, there are a variety of reasons some women can and some cannot. As long as the child is getting the nutrients he / she needs to promote healthy growth.

Answer 10

I didnt manage to do it, I was in labour for 3 days at the end of which didnt have the strength to hold her, let alone try and breast feed. Ive never felt such exhaustion. I also rejected her, due I feel to the length and trauma of the labour, I did try but it was so unbelievably painful, it felt as though she was sucking my insides out through my nip.

Another thing was that she never latched on very well, so being knackered and actually falling asleep while holding her, the midwifes suggested I dont try and just put her on the bottle.

i felt bad about not doing it, especially as you have some women who just insist on bragging about how they found it so easy and cannot understand why I didnt do it, and why didnt I want the best for my baby etc etc. Those sort of comments I found hard to deal with, but ive got a perfectly healthy little girl now, who is the apple of my eye, so damn the 'perfect mother' brigade.

I found the whole birth and pregnancy absolutely horrific, and will never have another baby, I dont think I could cope with the mental stress it would put me under.

I applaud women who do breastfeed, but Im glad I didnt try to force myself to do it on top of the mental anquish i was going through with post natal depression.

Ive tried to be honest in my answer, hope I havent offended anyone.

xx