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He offcourse denies it but I found out that he lies about his contacts with her. first she was a cousin, established it is not the case. Promised me that he will never talk to her again, but it is not the case. Gets very upset, even talking about a divorce because I don't trust him. how do i do that???? so many things are showing that him and the other woman are/were more then friends. It is like he is more concerned about her feelings then mine...please advise what i should do

2007-02-11 09:10:02 · 25 answers · asked by bibi 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

25 answers

You've only been married three months--No man that adores his bride cheats on her while they're still basically in the honeymoon stage. So admit you made a mistake and cut your losses. But I suspect you really don't want to leave this guy, you just want to be a doormat and complain what a jerk he is. So to the point, you have 2 choices here: stay with him and quit your bitching (stupid move) or pack your bags and get out tonight. BTW, tell him he can kiss this as your walking through the door (and point to the last part of your anatomy he sees as you go out that door).

2007-02-11 09:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Let's read between the lines shall we? Denial about suspect behavior, yet promising to end contact. Easily upset over topic. Contemplating divorce. Her feelings more important than yours.
Can you feel the love? Me either. Yet, let's not go overboard. True, innocence does not behave this way, nor does real love. What concrete evidence have you? Play detective...Here's how. Request the house phone records and his cell phone records from the carriers. They will not want to do this, yet the law is on your side to get them. Check your credit card receipts. Where's the money trail going? If there's funny business, he may be hiding his assets from you. Credit cards may exist that you know nothing about. Check his Internet history. Unless software has been installed that overwrites the trails. Of course this could fuel what may not actually be going on yet. Caution is needed. You don't want this marriage to sink before sailing into the sunset. Communication will unlock a great many things and is vital in your union. Have a heart to heart. Tell him matters need to get cleared up. If he refuses and tells you there's nothing to talk about...and divorce is what keeps coming out of his mouth. Marriage is a two way street. If he's blocking your way, you may need to find another way around.

2007-02-11 09:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by I Try 2 Spy 6 · 0 1

Get a divorce, or make some plans about what you are going to do or who you are going to live with if one day you two get divorced. If what you say is true (that he might realy be more concerned about her feelings) than you need to get ready for a possible divorce by finding someone who is concerned about your feelings that way if he realy is cheating on you, you will be ready to move out and get divorced as soon as possible. Get a plan B and C so that if you do get divorced you will know what to do but mean while keep watching him and act like you dont care if he is cheating on you and get ready just in case you do get divorced. remember there are alot of other fish in the sea if you do get divirced.

2007-02-11 12:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by Blueberry. 3 · 0 1

you're able to purely be waiting to get a no fault divorce in any journey. Albeit he fathered a baby (probably) at the back of your back, yet that became till now your marriage, etc an identical time as being a cheating scumbag, has no longer easily broken his marriage vows. in case you nevertheless have thoughts for the guy, then evaluate whether you're able to forgive him. If he had confessed to napping with this woman 3 years in the past, and there became no baby, how could you experience? in case you're able to have ended the relationship then perhaps that's what you're able to be able to desire to do now.

2016-10-01 23:39:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Sounds cruel, but you are better off finding out the truth now than later. If this is how things are starting out the outcome doesn't look good. Stand your ground and ask and look into this relationship of his, you are now by marriage entitled to ask anything you please about his life since it affects yours. If he is using a divorce as a threat you might consider taking him up on it. You are only 3 months in your marriage, you might consider having it annulled.

If he has nothing to hide he should not be deceiving you with lies about this other person in the first place.

2007-02-11 09:22:17 · answer #5 · answered by Archangel 3 · 1 1

This probably will be better advice for your peace of mind than your marriage, but talk to the other woman. Obviously your husband has proven he is not trustworthy. Laying everything out on the table with him and expecting him to do the same is unrealistic, given his history. Call this woman up, meet her in neutral territory, and be prepared to have your suspicions confirmed. Don't blame her for your husband's actions...get all your questions answered and gather facts to hand over to your divorce lawyer. If he's lying and cheating now, you're better off starting over.

2007-02-11 09:20:38 · answer #6 · answered by oj 5 · 0 1

If he will not get her out of his life then something is deffinately going on. Not WAS going on, but IS going on. If she used to be a girlfriend then he should have no problem dropping her, but if there is still something up then of course he will have problems. He shouldn't give a damn if it hurts her, you should be his top consern. This is how it seems to me anyways. I would tell him I don't trust him and if nothing is going on then he should have no problem dropping her and if I found out he contacted her or let her contact him again I would be gone. If I found out something had been going on while we were together I would be gone too. He has a lot of work to do to get your trust back and don't be afraid to tell him so and don't let him twist things around to make you feel like you are the bad guy. Men like to do that a lot of times. He is in the wrong, not you. Get him for it.

2007-02-11 09:18:25 · answer #7 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 0 1

Find out how to get in touch with the other women and have a serious talk with her about the relationship. The other women may very well come clean about their relationship.

If he is talking about divorce because you don't trust him then he is thinking about it and thinking about leaving you. When a spouse threatens to leave at anytime during your marriage that usually means they probably will at some point.

You deserve to know the truth and you may even be able to get the marriage annulled if you find out he is cheating.

2007-02-11 09:20:57 · answer #8 · answered by TheOne 2 · 0 1

Well I would contact the other woman and have a talk with her over coffee or something......

If he is cheating so early in the marriage makes me wonder why he even bothered to get married

I know your hurting right now but get all of the facts before jumping to conclusions...................

if you find out in the end that he is not apologize to him but do not grovel...
if he is having an affair...throw your shoulders back stand up be strong and file for divorce

2007-02-11 09:17:36 · answer #9 · answered by dreamingone39 2 · 0 1

Three months is way to early for him to be cheating and lying to you. He's obviously not ready for marriage I would cut your losses now before things get even worse, you don't want to become pregnant with someone who isn't in love with you enough to stay faithful. I'm in the same situation only he still denies that he's done anything, turns everything around on me and makes me look like I'm insane for even thinking he's cheating on me. Get out of it now so you can find happiness with someone more trustworthy. It's terrible that you gave yout all ot someone and they took that and stomped on it. It seems difficult, there is a lot of guilt associated with leaving a marriage, but none of this is your fault, you will survive.

2007-02-11 15:06:35 · answer #10 · answered by MsTrust 2 · 0 1

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