What's the best way to write and apology/explanation/excuse letter to a friend?

Question

A problem happened in 2005, when I hired a car with a friend and his girlfriend (both visiting from abroad but living separately to me) to go to a party out of town. I offered to drive back so my friends could drink. But we got lost on the way back because the route I printed from the route-planner website was inaccurate, a fault on the site. We eventually found our way back after a VERY LONG drive, and his girlfriend was furious. When they returned to their country, my friend continued communicating with me like normal.

However, they both visited my country the following year and the friend's girlfriend brought the subject up and snapped at me. I walked away without clearing the matter because I was suffering the death of my child, so it wasn't the right time. They have both gone back, but now my friend isn't talking to me.

I want to write him a letter to explain things. How should I layout the letter? Do I write as an apology or just give an explanation?

I have some links to complaints written by other people who had similar problems with that route-planner website. Should I include those links as evidence, or will it rambling and make the letter too long?

Answer 1

JUST address the letter to them. SAY HELLO. AND i miss you. THEN say i am so sorry 4 the misunderstanding. THEn explain the death of your child. TELL THEM your heart was too heavy at that time. IF THEY DONT 4 give you. ID KICK that scum to the curb.

Answer 2

You don't need friends like these if after a long period they still go on about a silly little incident.Who the hell does your mates girlfriend think she is! the queen of bloody SHEBA or what.

You went out of your way so they could enjoy the party and got no appreciation for the act.So you got lost on the way you have nothing to apologise for,nor should you.
Nothing could be worst than what you have gone through,and for that i send my thoughts and best wishes to you.

You should write to your friend just to say hi and that your sad that you have'nt heard from him.
But i do suspect this is not all your friends doing,i think his girlfriend maybe behind alot of this.
You could say you are sadened by the way that there last visit had ended but were struggling to get over your childs death at the time.
Say you hope they will get in touch soon and with your best wishes,and leave it at that.

You should not apologise but just express that due to the childs death being critisised over something so silly really hurt at a time when you were hurting enough.
See if they reply if they don't then sod them they are'nt worth spit ,and don't bother worrying about it.

Answer 3

You have absolutely nothing to apologise for or explain, you were doing them the favour when the incident occurred. The female sounds bolshy and ignorant and your friend in the very least weak that he didn't take his girlfriend to tackle. If you want to keep in touch with the friend, although I don't know why, just write and tell him you were sorry he didn't visit last time, hope he will the next time etc and say what happened is best not brought up again as it is obvious you agree to disagree on this one. If you do apologise you are not being honest because you haven't done anything wrong have you?

Answer 4

Dear
Exsuce me but it was a mistake correct?
Did they miss a flight or something expensive?
So what is her issue. It was a mistake.

She was out of place to "bring it back up" that was insensitive and rude. I actually would not aplogize for some thing that occured two years ago. She needs to get a grip.

Now why is "HE" not talking to you? That is bizarre. Unless, he was looking for an excuse and she is it.

I would just drop them a card of "friendship" and tell them, how much you enjoy there visits and "etc".[be honest] If you want to make a joke of it, then say next time we can take a "horse and carriage" ride, we know they only go in a cirlce and don't get lost, their professionals, unlike me. LOL.

A friend doesn't need an explaination, they love and forgive honest mistakes with out all the "drama".

Best wishes.

Answer 5

first of all, don't call it an excuse letter because that is not true. You are a good friend and you must write the letter to your friend and explain that you are sorry about what happened that night. You do not need to constantly hear about something that was a mistake. Explain in the letter that your child died and that you are were just not feeling yourself. Tell them that you were emotionally not up to hearing about it again because you were grieving. If they can't understand this then you never really had a good friendship to begin with. You are a good person and your friends should of been more understanding of your situation. Tell them that you appriciate the frienship and to please forgive you for not being yourslef. Take care Heather

Answer 6

Just be yourself and state the facts without being too apologetic, as it wasn't your fault. I am so sorry about your child - do they know about this? It is nothing to do with the problem but if they know this they should be more sensitive. You can say sorry, just try and keep lines of communication open. Sometimes people snap back because they have some problems of their own so if they still don't make friends again, just give them time and approach them later in a friendly manner.

Answer 7

There are some great cards around now, that have lovely words explaining mis-understandings and asking to be forgiven. Give it a go. If they don't respond then I would shelve the whole incident. You have obviously had more than your fair share of heart ache and if they were true friend they wouldn't be putting you through this now!

Answer 8

address it to both of them and explain,what you want to say,you can all but try ,tell them how you are feeling about the situation,i mean well you only got lost a genuine mistake,you didn't mean to get lost,she said things in the heat of the moment with being stuck in a car and lost,
just apologise and ask where do you stand from there as you don't want to loose the friendship you had,
if they are any friend they will understand as its not easy writing the letter in the first place,
as for your friend,well he should not have stopped talking to you at all,
just write it if you don't get a reply,
at least you can say you have tried,
if you were my friend i would not have fallen out with you in the first place,i mean you only got lost that's all.
good luck in doing this,hope you find out one way or another,x

Answer 9

Dont you dare EVEN apologize to them! It was NOT your fault and then when you were grieving your child's death, the snot DARED TO SNAP AT YOU?
Oh I do NOT think so! I wouldve been SO in her FACE!

You do not need "friends" like that. Admit no wrong. She'll get hers, someday. Send them a card at the holidays and move on. Find new friends.
Oh I am so mad at her and I do not even know the snot!

Answer 10

give an explanation & an apology- say youre sry for not being able to make it clear right away- but at the same time- explain to him that you were suffering n needed space- you didnt need a b*tchy girlfriend to freak out for something dumb that happened over a yr ago. --- but say it in a nicer tone--- i kindagot pissed of when i read thats shes spazing for something that happened over a yr ago. :)