Theres this guy who i really like, and i think i am in love with him-he treats me good and i know he cares but my mom doesnt want me to have anything to do with him because of his past,she thinks he is trouble and a "thug" but hes not and she doesnt even want to give him a chance. She doesnt know i am seeing him and i havent told him the waymy mom feels about him either. I care about them both and i hate going behind her back but i dnt knw what else to do!! please help and give me advice on what i could do to change her mind or just give him a chance.
2007-02-11 08:29:18 · 16 answers · asked by b2nay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You don't necessarily need to change her mind. If she finds out you are sneaking around with this guy whom she already doesn't like, she won't trust you with guys anymore. You need to be honest with both of them. If you don't tell them the truth, then you might as well be lying to both of them, and doing that with two people will catch up with you really quick. You need to respect and honor your mother and her opinion, but you also need to talk to her and tell her why you like this guy. If he really is a thug, then he is probably acting nice to use you for something, but if he is not really a thug, then he will care about you, and he will understand your mom's opinion. If you want him to keep liking you, you need to be honest with him too. Don't keep hiding. Also, don't go doing something that you know will get you into trouble. Be a good judge of character, try to see both sides, don't just automatically assume that your mom or this guy is right or wrong. Give them both a chance. Be in prayer about the situation, God loves you, and he is in control of your life, don't try to shut him out either. Good luck and God bless!
2007-02-11 08:38:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention how old you are, but if you are younger than 18, respect your mom's wishes. Your mom has a quite a bit more life experience than you. She has probably had this guy checked out or has heard something through the grapevine. And sneaking around behind her back is such a bad idea. She trusts you and this will destroy all of that. Even if you find it difficult to believe, your best interest and safety are her primary concerns. You will have plenty of time to make all the bad decisions in life after you are 18.
Now if you are 18 or older and living out on your own--you can make all of the decisions you want whether intelligent or stupid.
2007-02-11 08:55:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have something to hide about him? If you are 18 or under - your parents have every right to know and going behind her back is not wise. If you are over 18, you need to grow up and tell her what's going on. Trust is so important and to keep the woman who raised you out of the loop over some guy is not wise either. If you have a good man, then time will prove you right. If not, don't you want your mom's support when and if things don't work out? Be honest and do the right thing as to not loose trust with your mom.
2007-02-11 08:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be honest with your mom and tell her that you are seeing this guy. Tell her that right now he makes you happy and you think that you two are a good fit. Ask her to try to put aside her bad feelings and try to get to know him before she casts him off as a thug. People make mistakes and should not be forever held to a lower standard because of their past. She's just worried about you, but you have to live your life and make your own mistakes. Tell her if she turns out to be right then so be it, but don't try to stop you from having your own experiences because of her fear. I think she'll understand that.
2007-02-11 08:37:18 · answer #4 · answered by b m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in your predictament so many times back when i was your age and i know exactly how you feel. this is not going to be easy to say and/or to hear but it's a known fact young lady.....parents know what they are talking about. Plain and simple your mom is just doing what they do best and that is protecting her child from what she KNOWS will happen. Your mom was your age one time and she knows how guys are (believe it or not). Try to look outside of your heart right now and open your ears to what your mom has to say and I can guarantee you that if you listen to her you will save yourself from alot of pain and sorrow. Take care and hope everything works out for you.
2007-02-11 08:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by sunsetgirl64 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What u need to do, is tell him how your mom feels about him. Than, if he is still okay with that, explain to your mom why he is a good person, and not a "thug." Tell your mom that he has changed for the better.
2007-02-11 08:32:19 · answer #6 · answered by Yeah! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is more important then a boyfriend, you only get one mother and boyfriends are fleeting especially when your young.
I suggest you set aside some mother daugter time and ask your mother why she feels that way about that guy. If you feel like she's totally misinformed about him tell her about the experiences you've had with him, and how respectful he's been to you.
If after all that she still feels really strongly about it I suggest you still tell her you plan on seeing him.
It's always best to be honnest especially with your mother.
The guy your with also deserves to know how your mother feels about him. Also his reaction to hearing this could tell you alot about him. Maybe he'd be willing to sit down and spend some time with your mom so that they could get to know one another.
2007-02-11 08:50:09 · answer #7 · answered by Rhuby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We only have your side of the story. They say love is blind for a reason. Maybe you don't see his faults because you're so close to him. It could be that your mom is right. If you are young you need to listen to your mom. If you are over 18 you have the right to be with who you want to be with.
2007-02-11 08:32:42 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
to be think about your future i was in the same spot as you and i had a choice between a nice upstanding lady with a good degree or a lady who was really fun and well i went with the fun one and we ended up in a whole lot of trouble where the good one tuffed it out for a couple of years and now she is flying back and forther to hawaii doing news reports and other stuff oh yeah she worked hard and is now rich
2007-02-11 08:33:42 · answer #9 · answered by mike k 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well this coming from a 17 year old, your mother probably knows best. your mom's always there for you. you can't be sure about the guy though.
2007-02-11 08:48:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋