My sister has met a guy who has been in prison, she told me he is a nice person and has treated her respectfully up to now, she has been dating him for about a month and thinks it could become serious if they continue to see each other, how ever, he has just told her a dew days ago that he had been in prison for fraud and assault. He said he's telling her now because he really likes her and wants to be honest with her before things get serious between them.
She has asked for my advice on what she should do, but I really don't know what to tell her! My gut instinct is to tell her to run a mile, am I right or wrong?
2007-02-11 08:09:10 · 28 answers · asked by Blackheath rugby wife 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Never should she get involved with a person who has a criminal record. They are there for a REASON! You're right...she's wrong!!
2007-02-11 08:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that it depends on the offence. I dint think that it is fair to write a person off for one small mistake but if its something really serious you do have to tell her to forget it and the truth is assault is a serious matter. The other thing is it is likely to effect his chances in every aspect of life on the "outside" as it were particularly in employment fraud is all about lies and when you have done that once its so much easier the next time. Id say tell her to get out while she can It might feel like love now but its likely to be a burden a few years down the line....sorry
2007-02-11 22:36:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire that he told her about his record so that she could make an informed decision. What has this guy done since he left prison to put his past behind him? Is he an asset to society--employed full-time, buying his own home, making enough money to support a family? Does he hang out with his old friends that he might go back to his old behaviors? Does he spend all of his spare time in a bar? These are all important considerations in determining if this was a one-time mistake in his past or not. But a really big question would be can your sister accept the idea that there will be those who will think less of her because she is involved with an ex-con? She will be judged by society by the company she keeps. Maybe it's not fair, but it's the reality of his situation. But, ultimately, it's her decision.
2007-02-11 08:25:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-19 11:11:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have never met him and you feel like telling her to run, is it only because you know he was in prison? I'm taking it that you have never met him, from your question, and here is what I think. It totally depends on what type of man he is and what kind of feelings he has for her. Considering he has been in prison and is out, he has done his time and paid his debt to society, that alone is not enough to tell him to hit the road unless something is screwy.
The question is this. Is this the only time he has been in prison? Do you think he will do these things again? What does he want from your sister? What type of assault? What type of fraud? And why did he commit the crimes? Do not believe him if he tells you he was a victim, chances are he is lying, which brings me to the next thing.
If she feels that he is just biding his time before he does something else, then it is not worth pursuing in my opinion. If he has changed his ways, is working and faithful, for example, he can take care of himself, he is not asking for money, he is not asking your sister for a place to live, then the situation might not be a bad one. If he is willing to be honest and even show the court papers to her to prove he is telling the truth, I would say he might be worth something. If he is mooching off her or clinging to her because he just got out, chances are he will be right back in prison, trust me on this one. Men who have just gotten out of prison will take up with anyone who comforts them and shows them exclusive attention. Some can be very manipulative and they prey on weak minded women. I'm not saying your sister is weak minded, I'm just saying she should be careful with her feelings and personal information at this point. I think you should talk to him, see for yourself what type of person you think he is and trust your instincts. Ask him questions, if he is serious about being with her, he should be willing to answer most things unless it is deeply personal. Use your common sense when asking things. You should tell your sister to trust her own instincts as well. If she thinks he is up to no good, then he probably is. Be careful.
2007-02-11 08:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by Wendy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My aunt is married to a man who is an absolute joy to be around, he was in jail for many years because he used to beat people up as a proffession and sell drugs. The two of them are happily married and have a son who's just about to graduate from high school. He's a very sweet man, and treats his family like gold. He even took me in when I need a place to stay for a few weeks a year and a half ago- and he didn't know me at all then. sense then I've kept in close contact with him and I recieve an e-mail from him every day.
I also go to school with a young man who was in jail for just under a year and he's very sweet and very talented.
You can't judge a person unless you get to know them. Give the guy a chance, get to know him and keep an open mind.
2007-02-11 08:27:47 · answer #6 · answered by Rhuby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Criminal Record Search Database : http://InfoSearchDetective.com/Help
2015-08-28 20:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should end the relationship. The assult thing worries me more than the fraud although of course, that is bad enough. To be honest, you have to have done something pretty bad to be put in prison these days given they are all full up. If she is going to proceed she needs to find out exactly what his crime was - what was the assult, stabbing, shooting etc. Looking to the longer term, I can tell you that he will not be able to get a mortgage (I working in financial services) and will find it extremely hard to get a job etc etc - his future and therefore hers will be limited by this. Who wants to go out with a fraudster and voilent person when there are so many lovely chaps out there to choose from.
2007-02-11 08:17:05 · answer #8 · answered by Bexs 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are correct but at the same time people are capable of change. I would express my concerns to her but tell her you will stick by her no matter what she decides.
In the fog of love, its easy to let practical matters slide. But if they get really serious and at some time in the future try to make a future together, his record will impact her. The jobs he can get are for sure limited with a record. She needs to think about this stuff also.
2007-02-11 08:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by CHELLE BELLE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guess it up to her however i think i would tell her the same thing and it depends how old he was when this happened and how long he was in prison. some people change but i would suggest to her that she wait and see what it turns into and if he still treats her really well and does not do illegal things then maybe he has changed but keep an eye on her she is your sister and she will appreciate you lookng after her
2007-02-11 08:15:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you meet your sisters boyfriend yet ?
How can you make an opinion about someone when you haven't even meet them.
Anyway it sounds like you really care about your sister so you should arrange a meeting with this guy and ask him all the questions you feel needed to be answered.
Then offer your sister the advice she is seeking from you.
2007-02-11 08:34:12 · answer #11 · answered by scottie322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋