what do i do.. i need help?

Question

My girlfriend recently broke up with me, who i thought was "the one." She told me she wanted to remain friends with me and that she considers me "a good friend." she also told me that i am "super cool, super sweet, and everything she wants in a boyfriend." She just didnt get "the sparks." She has been through a lot, two brain surgeries and her last boyfriend was a jerk. I was there for her when she needed me and she knows that. We hung out yesterday (the first time since breaking up), and everything was fine when I was there. BUt now i feel like crap. I still have feelings for her and I keep feeling like she still has feelings for me but is afraid for numerous reasons. I want to be her friend but its hard. Should i remain her friend and just let her contact me? Should i never talk to her again? What do I do? please help. thanks

if there is no spark does that mean there will never be one... how can i be "everything that she wants, but not want to be with me." It doesnt make much sense in my opinion.

Answer 1

My opinion is that you need to give yourself space for a little while. You will never be able to move on while you are still seeing her and feel this connection to her. Tell her that you need some time to help yourself move on from her and when you are ready to be with another girl without fear of having feelings for this girl then you can look into being friends with her.

Answer 2

Please remain her friend. It sounds like she has been through a lot (TWO brain surgeries??) and she may not be able to handle any relationship right now. She knows that you were there for her and after things settle down and she sees that you are still there, her feelings may change and she may begin to see those sparks. For now, just remember how difficult things have been for her lately and the most important thing for her is for things to get back to normal. Your feelings may have to take a backseat right now but you'll be glad that you stuck it out. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 3

Me and my ex boyfriend were in a similar situation. I went through alot when I was younger and he was my savior. we were together for 3 years. he treated my wonderfully and he was the only person I felt safe with. He was with me through a ton of tough times and i was there for his. after 3 years things in my life became much more "normal" and I realised that though I loved him very much I knew I didn't want to be with him for ever because there just wasn't that 'spark'. We disgussed this , and the various things happening in our lives and decided it was best for us to break up.
Not one day later he had changed his mind and I imagine felt much like you do. He had been my very best friend for years and I didn't want it to change, but I knew I didn't want to be with him and though he had difficulty with us not being together the two of us worked through it together. We still spent lots of time together and did alot of the same things and sometimes we'd just hang out in his place or mine and I'd just hold him and let him be upset.
Now, almost two years later, we're still friends but live in different parts of the country we gradually grew appart and are very different people, but it's wonderful having a person I'd been so close to that I can still call and talk about anything with.
If you and this girl were together for that long I'm sure she'd be more then willing to help you through a difficult time like this but do try to be respectful to her decision, I'm sure it's very difficult for her as well, it was for me.

Answer 4

keep in touch with her, because if you were with her through all of that, then she knows she has someone to depend on. don't shun her just because you two aren't sure about your feelings.