My husband went to jail this morning for getting drunk and acting stupid at home. I am not going to bail him out. I don't want him anymore all he does is drink and say everything is his. My ? is how do I stop feeling sorry for him and I also want to keep him out of trouble. I have ask him to leave but he won't go. Please be honest.
2007-02-11 07:57:31 · 19 answers · asked by BABY GIRL 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey you have to be strong,
When you say acting stupid what do you mean ???
Is he violent ???
If he can't look after himself how can he look after you ??
My ex was an alcoholic, he beat me when I was 7 months pregnant with his child,
You have to think do you deserve this ??
No you don't
My ex used to wet the bed and wonder why I wouldn't sleep with him.
Babe you have to get strong, if he hasn't beat you already do you think he would ??
Alcoholics are usually violent.
God bless xx
2007-02-11 08:00:42 · answer #1 · answered by Elle J Morgan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run, don't walk away. I do understand he is your husband and you must have been attracted to some of his good qualities to marry him. However, what he exhibits is something that you cannot engage in nor would you want an innocent future child to witness.
There are wonderful men out there that will not berate you and subject you to these episodes as you describe.
before any child is involved. leave... give yourself a chance. especially before any serious abuse happens. he needs help, unless you are qualified to give it - do not subject yourself to his issues. It will eventually cost you if you stay. The invitations will be less frequent, your neighbors will whisper, you will find yourself alienated from your family and friends - again why subject yourself to his elective sickness?
People will talk either way but remember no one walks in your shoes but you.
If you do not have the support of your family and friends seek it through your local county sources.
If he hits you - get a restraining order. He will have to leave the residence, if you legally share it.
File a motion of divorce. Seek legal aid in your county office.
good luck
.
2007-02-11 16:14:48 · answer #2 · answered by IPnlove 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has come to be dependent on you for solving HIS problems. And he will continue to as long as you keep helping him. One of the things that someone like this will do is make you feel guilty , almost like it is your fault. Especially when you don't bail him out. Co-dependency. He needs more then you to solve his problems, more professional help is what he needs. This will just continue and maybe get worse. So drop the guilt trip he puts on you and help yourself now. Good luck, it's like a roller coaster ride.
2007-02-11 16:15:19 · answer #3 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your doing the right thing he needs to act like a responsible man. he needs to learn that you cant always solve his mistakes like bailing him out . maybe his friends are the same so try introducing him to new people. stop feeling sorry for him he is the dumb one not you.. you need to be the one to leave and to start a new life for yourself
2007-02-11 16:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the sounds you are a caring person. However, what you need to do is ask yourself is your mental health suffering? You can't fix him or change him as he has a disease. He will pray on your personality, knowing that you are a caring person. He will continue to play the head games to keep you. You have to be strong, you have to want more, you have to say enough is enough. Good luck!
2007-02-11 16:06:25 · answer #5 · answered by flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone around this man has spared him the consequences of his behavior for so long. Sounds like he can do whatever he wants and others will pick up the pieces for him. Cut him loose, let him fall and pick himself up by the bootstraps and only then will he become a responsible man.
2007-02-11 16:02:17 · answer #6 · answered by Paul 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
then you pack up and you go. i wouldn't be vinictive but take what you need, rent a storage place for the rest of your stuff and move. hopefully you have some sort of savings. any crazy abusive **** is not acceptable. sounds like my ex's when they want to act like "Mandavoshkas' yeah so i split. file for adivorce if you have to and if you have kids? go now. restraining orders don't do **** so leave no traces and go far away.
2007-02-11 16:40:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as you love(d) this man at one time the place you need to be an Al-anon meeting. These meetings are for families of alcoholics. They show you how to get out of these feelings of responsibility for his actions that you feel now. If he will not leave, change the locks while he is in prison and move his stuff out of the house. Either that or pack up your belongings and move yourself out!! Best of Luck with whatever changes you make in Your Life!!
2007-02-11 16:06:50 · answer #8 · answered by stephanie p 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
OK!!! with this police report and him not in your way at the moment file a restraining order and file for divorse! wake up to the fact it is aonly going to get worse.. end it now!! I watched my mom beaten by a man that she could not turn away.. because of a soft hearted guilty streak. move on now!.That's what you need to do to get out of this abusive and dangerous situation!
I hope you tkae steps to move away and on with your life.. time to play hardball!!! Good luck!
2007-02-11 16:04:04 · answer #9 · answered by Derrick Zooolander 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By feeling sorry for him and getting him out of trouble, you are enabling him. I hope you understand that. He is playing you like a violin. Get out and don't look back.
2007-02-11 16:10:02 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋