Question about parents not allowing child to go on Birth Control?

Question

PLEASE READ ENITRE SECTION BEFORE COMMENTING, I WILL FLAG ALL COMMENTS THAT ARE RUDE DUE TO FACT OF NOT READING.

I am 18, and I am also 9 months pregnant.I have a very complicated story to tell, so please read, and read carefully, as in a previous post, it seemed as though I did not write correctly.

I use to live in Montana, with my mother. When I was 15, I started dating a guy, and when things started getting intiment, and after a pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage, I decided to sneak up to the Planned Parenthood and got on the birth contol shot, Depo Prevera.
I felt as though I should tell my mother, and I did, and suprisingly enough she was exstatic, that I knew I should practice safer sex, and although she wasnt pleased that I was having sex, she knew she really couldnt stop me.
Well, I ran away, and when I came back 3 months later, me and my mother decided I would go live with my step-father in South Carolina. It was a possitive move, as I no longer had..

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the peer preasure of sex, drugs, and alcohol. Upon moving to South Carolina, in attempt to keep me clean, my step-father and his girlfreind decided to homeschool me, against my will, but at 16-17 there was not much I could do, and I figured if it will keep me clean, I could at least try it.
Well, it got to the point, that the only time I was allowed to leave the house was when I was with one of them, I had absolutly no friends, I was missarable. Well, January of 2006, they ran into some finacial problems, and so we moved in with some of there friends, and things became a little more lax. They allowed me to go to the bowling alley. But I was stupid and signed up for Postaroo.com, this was I could meet people to hang out with at the bowling alley. Well, I did meet someone, and he is still a friend, and so is the man he introduced me to. I started dating my now husband, back in April, and we really hit it off. I asked my parents if I could go back on Birth Control...

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and they denied me, I not only wanted the shot again just so I could have sex, but so that I could minimize the agonizing cramps I got from my periods, and I know they knew that they were bad, because my step-dad took me into the hospital a few times for them.

It seemed like everytime I asked for it, they had a new excuse. Dont get me wrong, yes, I was having sex, AND YES I WAS USING A CONDOM!!! But sometimes condoms aren't 100% effective...

In my attempts to ask for birth control, I had my roommate run me to the dr. so I could get on it myself, but she said it was a one time thing, because she did not want to be caught in the middle. Well, yes, I ended up pregnant, shortly after my 1st shot ran out, and sometimes I blame them that im pregnant, I know its not there fault, but some of me believes it is...am I so wrong for thinking this??? I mean, i tried over a period of 5 months to get put on it, and by June 12th, I was pregnant...

There wasnt much I could do by this point, I do not believe in abortion, and the father of my baby was there to help me, and yes we got married, but not because were having a baby, which we both agree is a really stupid reason to base your marriage on. But I really was going to get my 2nd birth control shot when we found out I was pregnant, but I really think my parents should have helped.

When I bring it up now, my step-father claims he was just about to get me a prescribtion for the "morning after pill", which I dont understand, with an attempt such as that, why wouldnt he just let me back on the shot???

Thank you for all answers

I should add, that I also have extreme negitivity towards them, as in there atempt to homeschool me, they never actually sent the homework or test scores that they had been giving me for over a year...

and now anytime I see them, they have the odasity (sp) to ask me if im going to get my GED...

Dont get me wrong, I cant wait to have my son, Ive got only 4 weeks left, and he is the best thing that has ever happend to me! and I will re-say, that I did get put on the shot, again! But before I could get a chance to get out and get my 2nd shot, I had gotten pregnant

I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant

Answer 1

i think it is somewhat there fault but not completely...... when u asked for the birth control they should have given it to u..... especially since u were smart enough to want it instead of sleeping w/ every1 and since it was also for cramps...... that was awful of them to force home school u and not let u go anywhere so u didnt have any friends...... good luck and God bless
congrats about the baby!

Answer 2

Oh, I see the rest of your story now. I can see how you would feel that it is their fault, but it really isn't. Since you were using condoms, it should have been good enough, although going on the shot would have been more convenient and give extra protection. Were you 18 before or after becoming pregnant? If you were 18 before you would have been able to get the shot without your parents permission. As a matter of fact, I believe that you are actually considered to be emancipated since you are 18 and married. You should have been able to get the shot on your own. Don't worry too much though. The good thing is that you are married and won't have to do this by yourself. It is not easy, but you and your husband can do it. Everything happens for a reason. No use looking back now and wondering who to blame. This can turn out to be a wonderful thing for both of you. I wish you all the best!

Answer 3

I am the father of a sixteen year old daughter and last year I found a condom in her coat pocket. Sure at first I freaked. But after thinking about it for a while I raelized that while I don't like the idea of her having sex, I like the idea of her coming home pregnant even less. So I took her to planed parenthood and got her on the pill and a supply of condoms uuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhh.

As to whether or not your parents bear any responsibility for you getting pregnant, in short No.

1. You knew that they would make it more difficult for you to acess the shot and therefore should have planed accordingly, Is there no public transportation ?

2. You knew that you were at the end of the cycle for the shot and that your chances of getting pregnant were higher.

3. You made the choice to have sex knowing that condoms are not a failsafe and that you were shall we say more fertile.

Bottom line in my opinion is that they should have supported you in getting the shot, But knowing that you had these obstacles made it more difficult but not impossible to get the shot.

Sorry dear but it all comes down to choices

And you chose to have sex therefore you chose the consequence of being pregnant.

Anyhow the situation is what it is and you have to deal with that. So allow me to wish you luck and blessings for a healthy child.

Answer 4

I would have to ask if you didn't know that you can go to any Planned Parenthood center and get BC without your parents' consent. I don't agree with that law but it's there. (for anyone ready to bash that statement, it's not that I don't want teens to have access to it, it's about the medical and legal responsibilities of the parent if something were to happen because of it) Your parents should have been more understanding and at least LISTENED to you. But , unfortunately, not much of that goes on anywhere :(
On the other side of it it the fact that you knew you were not on BC (although you did use condom-smart girl!) and knew there would be a chance of pregnancy anyhow, so THAT part you really need to take responsibility for.
You sound like a very bright, intelligent young lady and I really hope it works out for you!
Congrats on your marriage, too!

Answer 5

I totally understand what your saying and if your parents knew that you were sexually active they should of put you on birth control. But being pregnant is a wonderful thing, so don't blame people just because your pregnant, be happy, if you keep blaming yourself or your parents your not going to have a relationship with them, and that will hurt you and the stress of blaming will hurt your unborn child. Plus birth control is not always 100% either. My best friend got pregnant and she too got the Depo Prevera shot, she got pregnant, two weeks after getting her shot. Plus you could blame your parents for not letting you have birth control, or you could blame yourself, I mean you are the one who decided to have sex, they didn't force you, and with them not giving you the birth control, maybe that was their way of hoping you would wait to have sex. So just enjoy your pregnancy, and if your not ready to be a mom, put the baby up for adoption and let someone who can't have children be a parent. Either way, good luck.

Answer 6

you need to let it go. now you are pregnant and married and you have a new life now. you of course are mad at everyone involved. but in the end it was your decision and you knew that having sex would lead to a baby! what you need to do now is go and get your GED and continue your education if you feel the need. do it for you! cause now it's your child's future. make a decision on what your going to do when your child is older about this subject. my mother first refused birth control for me. then i told her i was trying to be as safe as possible. later she agreed. but i ended up pregnant at 18. my own fault. everyone messes up. don't take it so hard. i do think that a teenager should be fully educated on sex. and there is places you can go to get birth control with out adult supervision. any teenager needs to know that it's still not an excuse to have sex.

Answer 7

laws, laws, laws....
it is the responsibility of the minor to use protection. if you got pregnant it is not your parents fault what so ever. you think you are responsible enough to have sex then you are "responsible enough" to have a baby. i am also on depo. i recomend it. you shouldnt sneek aound to get birthcontrol. you can get condoms (female and male) over the counter. pull out when he ejaculates. there is really no excuse for you getting pregnant other than you knew your shot was overdue and you didnt care enough to start using condoms again. if you are 19 then you could ahve gotten the shot on your own for 2 years now. stop blaming your parents on your actions. its time to grow up!!


oh im sory i though tyou were 19. but it s still your responsiblity!!


im 17 w/ a baby. fyi...im maried and i would never blame my parents for getting pregnant. its my fault, well not even "fault" my boyfriend and i wanted a baby an now we have one. i was having unprotected sex, my parent wouldnt let me have b/c but at firs twe were still usning condoms. untill we actually wanted a baby. then we married. take my advice, you need to be happy you are going to have a baby. you are an adult adn you are going to raise a human being!! dont blame anyone, noones to blame really. why is this anyones falut but yours?

Answer 8

Sorry.... but you knew exactly what you were doing. You know condoms are not 100% effective but you had sex anyway. It was your choice and nobody elses fault but your own that you got pregnant.

Don't want to get pregnant? Don't have sex.

Answer 9

Sweetie, I don't understand your question. I'm glad you are happy that you are having a child. Well just know that now that you are 18, you can go and get birth control on your own. I'm sorry that you had to go through all this. Good luck!

Answer 10

I'm missing the rest of your story.