my husband JUST left me..?

Question

my husband just left me today. we have been having BIG problems for a long time, and i have to admit i've thought about leaving myself many times, SO i know how he feels. i know that he loves me in his own way..but we just couldnt see eye to eye about anything.. i feel sad that its over but also feel a peace in my heart, what can i do to keep my spirits up and NOT call him and ask him to come home..which would be done out of shear loneliness..but sometimes u get comforatable in something even tho u know its wrong..help me..anyone else going thro this!
how do u let go of someone u love, knowing its for the best of both of you??

you guys are wonderful...u making me cry but in a good way...knowing other ppl have felt this and got thro it..its amazing and thanks for your support everyone..!!

Answer 1

Trite as it seems, time does heal the pain. I've been there and done that. It hurts, it makes you cry, you feel like hell, sleepless nights. But it does get better. just remember that and you will pull through.

Answer 2

Take a well-deserved vacation if you can afford one. Just get away for a little bit of time to collect your thoughts and think about what you really want in your life now. Do something nice for yourself. Go see the movie "The Holiday". It's definitely a chick flick, but shows that life goes on, and sometimes the demise of a relationship is actually a blessing in disguise. You will do fine on your own, and you can find other people that make you feel worthwhile again.
Traveling alone can be very liberating. Traveling with great girl-friends can be great! I would recommend both.

Answer 3

Dear lovegirl,
It doesn't sound like your to broken up about it and I think the loneliness will go away in time. My question to you is do you still love him as your husband? If so I want to give you a word to the wise, I think both of you could have done better to go to some sort of counseling first instead of just throwing in the towel. Society has made it OK for people to just give up (we all argue but it's how you go about it, a person must consider the other person first to have a true understanding of what you are arguing about). I know how you feel so far as being at peace in your heart but that's because of the unrest in the household and being at each other. You may feel different in about a week, not loneliness but finding yourself truly in love with him? Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

Its not an easy thing to let go of someone you love, no matter how much better it'll make life. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to walk away because what you had was comfortable. That's why many people stay in marriages for as long as they do. Try not to listen to sad,slow music that reminds you of him. Also try not to go through pictures of you guys together. That was your past and until you're over him, pictures are going to make you cry. It always helps to go and hang out with close girl friends. Hey, now you can check out the hot guys without thinking that it's wrong. Just have some fun...Hell, that's what life's for. I hope everything gets better...

Answer 5

Hey I lost my wife to cancer a year ago Jan 5.
it was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
I did not date until now. I did a lot of searching for the meaning of life until the emptiness was full.
I learned one thing,some times our cup of life somehow becomes emptied, and we must filled it again with the experience of life.
Do not jump into another relationship until you are strong, you'll have some pain but it will make you both wise and strong.
Avoid self pity, and get into yoga.
Learn of your breath it is life. Don't believe me...well hold it until you do. That said, I know your are very honest and need to find your way in life, this will help you more then any man made religion.Yoga!
Good luck

Answer 6

I went through it when my husband of 24 years finally left. He made "unhappy/divorce" noises for 2 years before getting the balls to tell me he fell for some whorre. At first (before I knew about her) I fought it, because I too was comfy in the status quo.

But when I was on my own, I felt empowered to do & be the things that HE held me back from.

I eventually met and married a FUN man (I hadn't known there was such a thing, since the ex-hole was a stick-in-the-mud homebody). I realized I didn't love the ex-hole....

But I am crazy in love with my new hubby, who makes me laugh constantly and treats me like a queen. We both feel that we were meant to be together, only not until this point, so that our lives before meeting prepared us to appreciate each other!

I wish you all the best that life offers, and even if you don't want a man in it, your new peace of mind will keep you happy.
God Bless!

Answer 7

The first two months were so hard for me....
Wanting things back the way they were in the beginning..........
I had to keep sitting down and writing a list as to why we broke up because I was having a hard time not going back to him

but life had been bad and we had children involved so I had to stay strong!!

That was in 2000 I am so much better now and I had been with him for 15 years....

sometimes the "love" we think we feel is being comfortable with the other person or just a habit and it takes time and alot of tears sometimes to break habits

Find things to do...with your children if you have any or with family and friends.....I went to a counselor she was a blessing

Take his things and box them up put them away until he gets them

dont let him talk you into going to bed with him or out to eat it is a control thing to see how much they still have controll over you................and it will only break your heart

Loneliness is only as much as you allow---- go to the library, you are on here got to 360 blog....

Stay Strong and always no it is OK to cry!!!

{{{hugs}}} to you keep your chin up it will work out

Answer 8

Cheer up, because there's a great guy out there for you. One that will make you laugh and care about you. You don't want to call him, call a friend instead. Go out, do something, write in a journal, get to know what exactly you want the next guy to be and what you're going to stay away from. You just tuck the good times away from this relationship that's ending and look ahead. There's always something good over the next horizon.

Answer 9

thats real tough, letting go is a really hard task to do. the best advice i can give is try to keep yourself busy so you won't think about him as much. give the separation some time you know. go a few days or a few weeks without talking and see where things go. maybe what you and him need is space to see how things are without each other. thats something me and my ex-girlfriend did. we would argue all the time and she left... gave each other space for a few weeks. we talked about the things we didn't like about each other and we tried to comprise on them. right now we're doing ok but we're not together yet, we're taking it slow. try that and see if that works. good luck.. hope you find some kind of peace and happiness at the end.

Answer 10

There is no doubt about it - it sucks. Even if it is for the best. You need to get yourself someone to call instead of him - mum, a friend = ANYONE but him.
You need to write it all down, just like you did in your highschool journal and you need to keep busy.

Just been through the same thing, and it is so very hard, but time (like they say) does make it easier. Just be wary if he starts phoning you or trying to come and see you - don't let that happen. It makes the healing process drag out longer than it has too. And you will be SO tempted to see him, but you need to give yourself space and maybe later down the track, then see him. (Less likely to be tempted to 'sleep' together also!)

Answer 11

You don't have to call him up right away, but try to remain friends. We all make mistakes from time to time; consider this a learning experience, and try to do better the next time around. It's not the end of the world, as you're already noticing; it's the beginning of a new phase in your life, so look forward to it.