If so, how?
Especially if you're already in a serious relationship.
2007-02-11 07:13:37 · 14 answers · asked by that_guy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The problem is that most men just can't be "just friends" with a woman -- which I define as being of a similar age group and being able to do things together (non work) and go places on a regular basis without any sexual interest. Men are naturally "wired" to become sexually attracted to women that they find attractive and interesting. They can't just tell themselves not to be sexually attracted to a woman that they find pretty, nice, and easy to talk to.
Some men are able to "be friends" with a woman as long as aren't attracted to her and the two people rarely spend time alone together so any possible sexual attraction is diminished.
Some couples have friends who are couples and they do things together so they consider each other as "platonic" and "safe" friends. However, even this can become troublesome if the two or more couples spend a lot of time together and one of the males becomes attracted to one of the other men's wives (that happens!!!!) and vice versa.
Some men are able to be platonic friends with women who they are truly not attracted to but find some other common interest -- sports, politics, etc. Even then, often their time together is irregular/sporadic and usually involves the common interest.
A HUGE problem is that women are more likely to be able to be platonic friends with men. Women like being around men even if they aren't attracted to them (men usually only like being around women that they find attractive -- unless the woman is their mom or their sisters)
SO.... a frequent problem occurs when women think that just because they aren't attracted to their male friends, that their male friends won't become attracted to them (men and women are wired differently and their attraction for the opposite sex is different.). I have a married friend who insisted that she and this guy were "just friends" because in her eyes, they were just friends. However, after many months of hanging out together while her husband was at work, she found out that he had become attracted to her. Women usually believe the guy when he claims that he can just be friends, only to later find out that the guy has become attracted to them.
Since one person can't really know what the other person is feeling, married people should not have "close friends" of the opposite sex -- again, meaning someone that you often spend time alone with. An example of this is having an "office spouses" - someone of the opposite sex that you spend a lot of time talking to and going to lunch with, etc.
2007-02-11 09:11:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not thinking of your 'platonic' friend as being of ANY GENDER, but if you are 'already in a serious relationship' with this person I'd wonder 'why' you want it to be only 'platonic' and if you are wondering if you can have a 'platonic' relationship with a different person than the one you are in the 'serious relationship' with, I think you should 'make sure the platonic relationship is 'okay' with your 'love' too.
2007-02-11 07:28:45 · answer #2 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,as long as both people know up front. Otherwise, what you or the other person say to each other, or when one or both are being playful may be taken serious. I do agree if not careful, attraction and crossing the line can happen,even to people saying it won't happen to them. The feelings of the one you are in a relationship with,should always be considered too,and ask yourself would you want them doing it.Remember the golden rule.
Cheating can happen while they're saying we're only friends.
2007-02-11 08:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by nativeamericantay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure. Why not? People are people. Ask yourself if this: if the woman you've in mind were 75, would you still be interested in hanging? Sexuality is a wonderful option we all have ultmately, but if you're at all diffident or not quite certain which way her interests might swing, well just wait it out if you've the patience. Loads of peeps ( not quite there lesbians) can be so selfish with the
2016-05-23 22:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live with two men, I have a wonderful boyfriend who lives about an hour from here. The three of us (me and the roomates) hang out all the time, watch movies, all kinds of stuff, it's purely platonic, I guess they just think of me as one of the guys. also I go to a school where there are 90% guys and we all have a great time hanging out I've never felt like any of them thought of me as more then a friend. also my boyfriend has gal-friends who I feel certainly don't feel treated by.
I don't think there's a how to it, we're just friends an that's all.
2007-02-11 08:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by Rhuby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes...but don't fool yourself.
Platonic exists...so do people that think they are in a platonic relationship and it isn't.
Be honest...and let that other person be honest too. Often wolves hide in sheep's clothing.
2007-02-11 07:19:15 · answer #6 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible. You can love another person with no conditions or expectations. It is healthy and rewarding. Just make sure that you both have the same idea.
2007-02-11 07:20:55 · answer #7 · answered by trucktradergirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is but, I can be very hard if you have feelings for the person other then just friendship.
The other problem is friendship is the best way to learn to love someone. This is not a problem but, I you don't want to fall in love with them then you might have problems
2007-02-11 07:17:51 · answer #8 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I've done it. No physical attraction whatsoever outside the relationship I was enjoying. I think it has something to do with maturity.
2007-02-11 07:19:33 · answer #9 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, My best guy friend and I have been friends since the 2nd grade and we are now 26 ,BUT he just came out that he was gay last year!!!!!!!! GO FIGURE HAHA
No wonder my husband never cared about me spending time with him, he had to of known!
2007-02-11 07:20:28 · answer #10 · answered by LuvnLife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋