Shes younger, 19. Id say a year ago or so she had an abortion because she didnt want the baby, now shes pregnant again, she considered abortion again, but had the "oh babies are cute, i want one" attitude. I am worried because she can be quite selfish and she seems mad at me because Im not super excited about her pregnancy (im 37 weeks pregnant) because personally I think shes quite careless. This girl is my friend, and a great friend. I just dont think she will be as good of a mother as a friend. What can I do? Ive told her how I feel, or at least hinted to it. But she just had an abortion a year ago! why did that first childs life have to go and this one is okay to stay? Do people know what birth control is???
2007-02-11 06:29:08 · 19 answers · asked by natalie rose 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
A lot of women go through this thing (I dont remember what it's called) where they feel so guilty about having an abortion that they try to get pregnant again. There's not much you can do. Just let her know how you feel and just stay out of it. She'll do what she wants and you just have to come to terms with that.
2007-02-11 06:42:28 · answer #1 · answered by Naru 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm pretty sure you know there isn't really anythign you can do. You can try to share some of your concerns with her, but be careful how you do it. I do agree with you that she seems quite careless, but all you can really do is be as supportive of her decision as possible.
I don't think it's her age that makes her careless. I'm 19, and got pregnant 3 months after I got married, while I was on bc pills. So sometimes life just happens. I don't think she got pregnant on purpose, even if she was acting irresponsibly.
Honestly, it is sad that she had an abortion, because that is probably something very hard for her to deal with, even if she isn't showing it. That's a traumatizing experience. So, that could have alot to do with her decision not to have another abortion. I'm sure she probably feels somewhat guilty about having one. So, I think you should be happy that this baby will get a chance to live, and that maybe your friend will learn to be a good mother. Maybe you could go to some pregnancy and parenting classes with her to show your support.
You seem like a very caring friend, and she'll be lucky to have you by her side.
2007-02-11 08:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs.Gaddis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hear ya!!! one of my best friends tried to get pregnant when i had my twins because they were ''too cute'' and wanted one as well... plus wanted our children to be friends and all that.... but just tried to tell her that its not that easy... i had her baby sit them for one night and she couldn't handle it (called me and we had to come home early). babies are A LOT of work, especially since i have 2 lol. and i think that she realized that after this... i think it is sad that she just had an abortion a year ago... now shes pregnant (the girl needs to be on the pill or something lol). i just feel bad for that baby, if she is as careless as you say she is. depending on how far along she is, i'd suggest maybe you do the same thing i did. just have her watch your newborn (with you there if you perfer), even if its just for like an hour or two. she will understand quick its not all about how cute they are. but unfortunately you can't change her mind for her... something has to ''wake her up''. just try to explain things to her, maybe have some others do so as well. sorry to say but there is no good answer to how to make her change her mind. i'm pro life too so think that if anything she should give the baby up for adoption, not abortion, but maybe she will mature and be less careless in the next 9 months. who knows.
2007-02-11 06:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by ricleigh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm well first of all I hate the fact she had the first abortion! abortion i think is wrong so my answer is no matter how much you think she should not have this baby... i think she should cuz the baby doesnt deserve to die! if she doesnt want it after birth then put it up for adoption... but who knows maybe she has matured since the first abortion and now truly wants a baby... and who knows mabye her having this baby will make her life better maybe it will teach her to be more caring an not careless.. and next time to use birth control.
2007-02-11 16:30:20 · answer #4 · answered by I Luv Joel Madden!! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
as with all being pregnant, there are negative aspects. besides the undeniable fact that, till she is recognizing, cramping or having the different unusual indications she feels like she is effective. basically enable her understand that she is not any more beneficial in probability using bounce then the different pregnant female. If the bounce grow to be going to reason any complications it possibly would have through now. tell her congratulations!! And please tell her to loosen up and revel in feeling that little individual interior her improve. Has she contacted a medical professional yet? they are going to be the most ideal source for all her questions and understanding she is pregnant, she shouldn't wait. She needs to be lower than an OBGYN's look after the completed time period of her being pregnant and after for periodic examine ups, paps, etc.
2016-12-04 01:20:28 · answer #5 · answered by kwiatkowski 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People hate being told what to do with there life. These people also will not learn until the choices they make effects there life.
Once this happens and they fail, they will try to convince others
to do the opposite. These other people will not listen because they think they are better than that. Thus the cycle starts all over again. Best advise for you... Let it be and good luck to your single mother friend.
2007-02-11 08:19:08 · answer #6 · answered by Grandpa Shark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she could use a good friend (especially a good mom to be) to guide her. Yes, it sounds like she can be pretty irresponsible- 2 unplanned pregnancies in as many years. But, you know what they say, "babies change everything." Since she's made the decision to be a mom this time around, we can just hope it wakes her up and she just might turn around and become a great, responsible mom. I say, be her friend and be there for each other.. you're both gonna want all the help you can get with your new babies.
2007-02-11 06:37:21 · answer #7 · answered by judy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I feel the same way. Basically though you are probably throwing it way out of proportion b/c of your pregnancy and hormons and such. But maybe the pregnancy will change her. It does happen. I'm way way way more responsible no that I am pregnant (38 weeks and 5 days) sometimes it takes something this intense to make people grow up and become more selfless.
As fryour oher quetion I got side traced looking up the answer for the inducing labor with pressure stuff and found this.
http://www.lifepassages.net/NaturalInduction.html
2007-02-11 07:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by Kimi is 31 weeks 1/7 w/#2! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think the best thing you can do is set a great example with your baby.
Maybe she decided to keep this baby because abortion is a hard choice, and she didn't want to go through it again. Hopefully having this baby will mature her.
Congrats on your "little one to be"
2007-02-11 06:36:59 · answer #9 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok to feel that way!!! As a mommy to be you have a lot of opinions and feelings and those hormones are not making it any easier. Maybe she finally realized what she missed out on... But if she is not ready to have a baby she should use BC or a condom or abstinance... By the time she wants a baby she wont be able to have one bcause of all the abortions...And good luck on your baby and dont worry about her 2 much!!! Friends sumtimes are not who they pretend to be!!!
2007-02-11 06:33:50 · answer #10 · answered by Princess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋