How to cope? I went thru something pretty traumatic at least it was to me...this happened last year.?

Question

Becuase of this, I have seen 2 therapists and 1 pychiatrist. I have tried 3 different anti-depressants, but my body couldn't handle them. So, I have been dealing with it on my own for the most part. I am finally seeing a social worker not a therapist, becuase she was highly recommended by someone who sees her. Its been 7 months, and even though I feel better sometimes, I still have very low points. And I cry alot and feel very alone and still think about what I went through. I need to get my life back in order. I'm 29 yrs old and I feel my life crumbled before my eyes last year. Now I feel like I have to start all over, but now with low self esteem, I'm crying as I write this. I can't take this feeling anymore. And I dont know what to do. I have family and freinds that are positive, but that can only help so much. I feel I lost all motivation to help myself. Should I try another anti depressant? I tried lexipro, effexor, & zoloft. The more I feel I need it the more angry I get.

I never have been this depressd before, and all because of another persons actions. I never had to see a pycholigist or a therapist before any of this. I have alot of anger inside from what happened and I feel this person definitly used me took full advantage of me and got the best of me:(( And there is not a single thing I can do about it. I feel I was walked all over and the situation itself was too extreme for me to handel, what this person did to me. How do I cope still...what should I do. I think about this everyday.

Answer 1

Sorry that you are going through this because I feel like you are describing how I felt 3 years ago (used and walked upon). I did not take any pills and only talked to my church sister, and my faith helped me. At the end of one year, my hurt was horrible; by year two, my hurt started to turn into anger; and now by the grace of God, I have been able to turn it loose. When I think back now, I just wonder how could I have been so stupid.
No matter who you talk to (therapists, sw, etc.), they cannot take the hurt away but can only listen. Time does heal and I promise that you will one day feel better.

Answer 2

I know what it feels like to be lost, alone, empty and angry all at the same time! I,too, have been through a time in my life when I felt like I couldn't go on because I didn't even know where to start to put my life back together. Well, I'm still here and have a happy life now, so it can be done! First, you have to learn to accept yourself for who you are and decide that you deserve to have a good life. Then, you must let go of the past and put it to rest. Right now you are allowing the person who hurt you to continue to affect your life and emotions every single day. Don't let them be a part of your life or your mind anymore. Today has to be a fresh start & anything before today is gone & there's nothing you can do to change it. You can get through this day the best you can & worry about tomorrow when it gets here. This has really helped me and my wife so much.
We are both on antidepressants that have really worked for us. I hope you can find something that will work for you. Cymbalta is a new one that is supposed to have fewer side effects. It's great that you are getting help....you need someone to confide in & open up to. It's ok to have bad days, everybody does. But that's just it...it's one day. You never know what tomorrow may bring.Turn your pain into the energy you need to start over. Live your life for yourself, do what makes you happy & enjoy being young & alive! I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

First, it takes time. Time is a wondrous thing. But, you can't dwell on the fact that you have so much more time to feel this way. What you do is use this opportunity to understand yourself better...and to better understand the person that hurt you. Experience is a part of growth, and we humans have a desire to understand as we grow. When we don't, we're in a state of confusion and when that involves pain, it's harder to see the whole picture and come to a conclusion. In time, it will all come together and you will feel better. Actually, you'll feel a bit better each day you get closer to understanding. It's a process, one you can get through. Also, try to focus on your physical health as well...it helps you feel better too. Exercise, eat healthy, get a massage, sit in a hot tub...etc. Just always remember, it's not hopeless.

Answer 4

First of all , it's not out of your control, you CAN do something about it , but are you using this as an excuse NOT to get on with your life. Is being a victim giving you a payoff you haven't had before?

Were you being totally honest with the psychiatrist and therapists or did they say something you didn't like so you wouldn't cooperate.

Sometimes like medicines you have to keep trying to find the right therapist, perhaps a woman social worker will be better for you,but are you prepared for her answers and do you really want to get your life back on track or is it just easier for you to hide and whine about how awful things are.

I too, have had a couple of traumas in the last year of my life, one just recently that was life threatening, one last year that shook my whole being to the core. I'm 53 and disabled by the way.

I got the medical advice I needed in both cases and I followed it to a tee.

I sought therapy and counselling. I read books on self-esteem ( Six pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Brandon I'd recommend highly).

I tried to find how to make my anger work for me rather than weaken me and I'm working on a women's committee to help young people learn about violence against young girls and boys and what they can do about it.

Really this whole thing IS in your control, but you have to want to do something about it and follow through.

You're blessed people support you, do you know how many people don't have that ?

Go back to your doc and find other meds to work with on your depression. I think that's the core part of your problem first off , not just the trauma.

Be brutally honest in your sessions with the social worker and stop thinking of yourself as such a victim all the time. Change the talk in your head.

You can DO it if you REALLY WANT to.

Answer 5

Think positive thoughts. Tune out everything negative and realize that there is a reason you're on this earth. Thinking negative thoughts will make things 20 times worse. A friend at work told me Friday that it's 2% what happens to you and 98% how you handle it. Things will get better.

Answer 6

I went through several traumas over a very short period of time about eight years ago. Thankfully, I happened to see a very intuitive female doctor who suggested I try "EMDR" therapy.

It saved my life in more ways than one. Go to emdr.com to learn more. The sessions were one hour each. I was told during the first session that most people were helped in less than 10 sessions. Each session cost around $150.

By the time of my second and third sessions, I had a much greater clarity and felt much better about my life and issues....and by the eighth session I had reached a totally new level of self-confidence and "understanding" that I'd never had before...I asked for a 9th session and that's when the therapist told me that I was healthy, fine, and OK!

The sessions took place about every two to three weeks between April - October that year. My life has been so enriched! I can't say enough about EMDR therapy. By the way, I was on NO medications...ever!

You know how we dream during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep? EMDR therapy mimics REM sleep -- but you're fully awake.

Each level of your totality -- the rational level, emotional level, psychological level, physical level, and spiritual level -- absorbed deep imprints of the events that happened to you.

These imprints were layered on top of the imprints made by past events in your life. It sounds like this most recent set of events were too much for each of your levels to handle.

My own personal analogy is to someone who drinks alcohol. Our body can handle only so much at one time before we overload and become physically ill, you know?

Using a rhythmic "tapping" sequence (I was "tapped" on my knees while sitting facing my therapist), which mimics the REM sleep we already do anyway, our ability to open up all our levels of totality is harnessed so that they all work together, the same as when we have dreams. Amazing, but true.

During the "tapping" sequence, each level of totality releases the memory imprints. The emotional level releases the "hurts", for example, and the physical level releases all the built-up tensions that have accumulated over the years. At the end of a few of the "tapping" sequences, I was surprised that I was so relaxed that I couldn't move my hands, for example. My therapist said that was because my physical level had released all the deeply-embedded tension that I'd been carrying around for years.

From October of that year forward, I've been able to discuss those same traumatic events in my life with no emotion...they're still a part of my life and reality...but that's all they are. They no longer have control over me.

Right now the events in your life have power over you, like mine did several years ago. The therapy removes that power and the patterning that goes with it.

The therapy itself was "invented" in Califormia during the early 1990s. Its use quickly spread around the world as patients described its overwhelming success.

I urge you to consider EMDR therapy!

Hope this helps!

Answer 7

i went thru i bet what you did and the death of my family members. Honey it takes time. what i am doing for me is going to the gym when no one else is there of course i take someone with me, going to consouling, sure i've been thru the pill thing but i take what works for me. i pray oh what peace that brings also i call the 700 club and have them pray for me. i cannot even work because of the ptsd. take care of your mind, body and soul, you will come back, i promise, but do not let anyone hurry you along take your time and appreciate the fact that God is with you and angels are near, heal in peace. Also remember you too will be a guiding star one day for someone else.

Answer 8

Hey, listen, I want you to know that you're definitely not alone. Don't let your inner demons get to you like that, because if you can live through the suffering event of last year, you can come through the after effects.

Answer 9

u certainly need a close true-friend to take care of u n all ur depression will stop bothering u.....

hope that u do find one soon.

I can only type ..... and pray for u.