EVERYONE LOVES HIM....my parents, my friends, my relatives....He is wonderful, caring, trustworthy, hot, great job, gorgeous house, genuine, would be a great father.....I have always been in drama filled relationships and FINALLY decided to get out of it after 7 years and this has been my 1st non drama relationship
I took a 6 month break and then met him. We clicked. We both wanted to get married to each other someday, have kids together, and live in our "now" house FOREVER.
One day my feelings clicked off. Honestly, I woke up one morning after we were dating for 3 months and had come to the conlusion that I didnt love him anymore. Since then I went on some anti-anxiety meds and my feelings have been up and down. When we are out of town I dont think about anything and have a good time with him, BUT when we are at home I get all anxious and feel like I dont love him anymore...I dont know why but the smallest things he does annoy me and the next day everything could be fine. I just dont feel as romantic as I used to with him. I still enjoy having sex with him and spending time with him but feel as though something is missing or I dont love him anymore? Please help, I hate hearing that I am not in love with him anymore...For some reason people re-assuring my love for him makes me feel better?!?!?
2007-02-11 05:09:06 · 12 answers · asked by dawson190154 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You do not know how to be single, you are with him because you don't want to be alone and you are terrified you will never find the right guy. Being with him and pretending everything is okay may be better than being alone right now but it will catch up to you at some point.
2007-02-11 05:21:50 · answer #1 · answered by BLANK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad that you were able to find someone that respects you and doesn't play games. I really do think that your still in love with this guy, but cause of your last relationships you've had that has screwed you over. You've put a guard up inside your self, the guard is to protect you from getting hurt again but in return you end up hurting the other person. Look I don't think you need to talk to a doctor or anything else. This is something that you're going to have to figure out on your own. Think about the things that this guy has done for you that's has made your life so special and think about what you would be giving up if you choose the path of you don't think your in love with him anymore. Sit down and be honest with him, tell him what's been going through your head and maybe yall can work at this together. Cause in order to have a real relationship is agree on 50/50. Any relationship is an equal partnership which means any problem each one of yall are having you can't be scared to talk to one another. The most important things in a relationship is honesty, trust, sex, love, communication. Well good luck and if you search deep down inside your heart and discuss this with him you'll find the right answer, so what ever your answer ends up being, it will be the right choice.
2007-02-11 05:59:15 · answer #2 · answered by Elizabeth C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend with a similar problem. She was always in drama filled relationships, got out and got a nice guy but ended up screwing the guy over.
I think the thing is, drama filled relationships are what you're used to and the feeling of being in them is hard to break. That's what you come from so, to a certain degree, that's all you know.
If you want it to work, try to remember what is so great about this guy in the first place. Not just "He's hot, he's got a nice job, everybody likes him". Think about all the little things he does for you that you never got with the drama guys in the past.
Then think about all the things you hated in your relationships before him and if you'd like to go back to those things or not.
Maybe it was all too much too fast and the relationship just kinda burned out but, if you really want to make it work, you have to decide whether you're gonna move forward with this guy or go back to what you're used to.
2007-02-11 05:19:15 · answer #3 · answered by Soul Brother #1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Dawson,
It's really a shame that you're going through this, the guy you have seems to be a really great guy. What has happened to you is that you have lost your "attraction" for this man. Let me guess, he used to intriguing and now he's boring and predictable. He used to make you laugh all the time and now he doesn't. He used to compliment you and now he doesn't. Men are so stupid, when we do luck and get the girl we don't know how to keep her. If you really love this guy you need to tell him that he is boring, predictable, and doesn't make you laugh anymore. If he loves you he will work on it. The bad news is that "attraction" is not a choice and he is one who is going to have to change for you to get that feeling back for him, that is if it is not too late already. Listen to me you have to tell him. By the way, I am that "perfect guy" that everybody likes so I know what you're going through. My girlfriend's mom adores me, and just recently I got the slightest hint that she was getting bored with me. I fixed that by creating drama...I know it sounds bad but it worked. I told her that I was unsure where the relationship was going and that I needed time alone to sort it out. After two days of no contact, yes, she got mad at me, but believe me she's not bored anymore.
2007-02-11 05:52:06 · answer #4 · answered by Shock and Awe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like it or not he is the rebound guy. It sucks when the rebound person is the person of your dreams because those relationships are destined for failure. They are meant to be short term. Usually about 3 months. You may have some issues from the previous relationships, you may need medication and/or counseling but regardless, dude is a short timer. He is the rebound guy. Good luck next time.
2007-02-11 05:16:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi dawson190...,
I am glad to hear that you have met someone special. That alone can make live very exciting and fun.
The reason your feeling that way is because he did or said something that upset you and your having a hard time dealing with it. That is why you get upset with the smallest things he does sometimes. It's normal to feel that way, we all do it when we are upset. I am not a profesional counceler and am only giving you my personal advice.
As far as the Anxiety goes, been there. The best way to deal with Anxiety it to find something for you that works. I change my thoughts and it defuses it. I have also found that by intentally changing my mood (trying to force myself to be angry helps out the quickest) I'm not a angry person an I supress my anger.
If your taking a prescription medication it is playing with your emotions and making you feel like your going on an emotional roller coaster. I've been there myself and it sucks. Have you ever had your Thyroid tested? Mine was out of whack and I had to see a specialist to find this out. If your interested feel free to e-mail me my E-mail address is D_Heyman1@Yahoo.com By the way I have learned a lot of things and want to become a Thearapist. I am more than willing to talk with you if your interested. By the way I rarely have problems with Anxiety any more.
You will find that when you understand what is causing you to feel this way towards your boyfriend that it will help you overcome how you are presently feeling. You feel better when people re-assure you that you love him, becasue you do love him which is great aslong as he treats you right. When your ready to get serious with him, move in or have him move in with you. Live with him for 1 -2 years proir to even considering getting married or having children. I did not do with with my ex wife to be of 16 years and it was big mistake on my behalf. We have 3 girls and are civil with one another. I still care about her and have feeling for her, but I also notice that with time they are fading. Never live with someone that will not beable to meet your needs. In my case even though she is a great person she was emotionally unavailabe to me. It caused great difficulties in our marriage. Its not her fault that she was raised to be unaffectionate. Never ask someone to change something like that. It has to come from the heart. One last thing to keep in mind. Most guys have a very hard time being open. I was not raised that way. It's the way most of us are raised.
2007-02-11 05:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by Buster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you really do care about him and love him.
But since you were in bad relationships before, you are still hanging on to the feeling in the back of your mind that something like that could happen again.
He seems like a great guy. However, you're picking out the little things that are wrong with him because you are still worried about having a bad relationship.
I hope I've helped. Good luck!
2007-02-11 05:14:51 · answer #7 · answered by kelsey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure that he's the problem. Sounds like you are particularly muddled up. Maybe talking it over with him (be tactful don't just say I don't think I love you anymore) might be useful for you.
I think you need to go back to your doctor and ask for a referal to a counsellor. You will find counsellors will help a lot with this kind of problem.
Don't do anything rash as you can't go back very easily.
2007-02-11 05:15:12 · answer #8 · answered by Hel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give it some time and be sure, but you're not really "in love" with him.
It's ok. It's how it goes sometimes. There's other fish in the sea.
2007-02-11 05:24:48 · answer #9 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this is how you are feeling you are not truely in love with him you need to think about what you are doing b4 someone gets hurt anve you talked to him about how you feel seek some help from a doctor but really think about it
2007-02-11 05:17:46 · answer #10 · answered by sad_angel_eyes_4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋