Being forced to go to church?

Question

Ok, I'm 16 and I do beleive in god, but I dont really enjoy going to church. I stopped going about 6 months ago, and my mom didnt care, but now for some reason she is trying to force me to go again. Do you think parents should for 16 year olds to go to church ?

Answer 1

Let me answer this by telling you a story about myself.
I had wanted to be a vegetarian when I was sixteen. My parents said no and I was forced to have meat, chicken and fish. I had forgotten about it until I was twenty eight when I started having dreams about how Animals were killed and made into food. I would have flashes of those dreams as I ate and Finlay became a vegetarian.
So why the flame did I tell you this story? Parents think they are doing the best for you. Mine felt that I would not get the right amount of protein and vitamins so they forced me to eat meat. Now your parents may believe they are doing the best by you to keep you from straying from their path. Yes it is their path but at this point you really and very unfortunately can't do much.
As for you question, No I don't think that parents should force a teenager of sixteen or older to do anything the teen doesn't want to do. The sad part of it is that parents are going to do what they feel is right weather or not the child likes it. There isn't really anything you can do about it other than rebeling and than they will become more strict as you rebell. All I can say is just to hold on till your eighteen and your are legally an adult. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out well. Bye.

Answer 2

Going to church does not make you a Christian (much like standing in a garage does not make you a car). Being a Christian is about so much more! You do not have to go to church if you don't want to. As long as you have a relationship with God you are on the right track!

Good luck with the Parents!

Answer 3

have you been honest about your feelings with your mother about not wanting to attend church? I stopped believing in any supreme being when I was around 8 years old and had to break the news to my parents. They weren't happy but they didn't force me to go to services anymore. As I would be the last one to push someone into going to any church, I was just curious if you weren't getting what you needed or were just bored......

Answer 4

Do your friends go to that church? Maybe since you stopped going you have changed a lot and she thinks that you need to get back in with another group of ones that attend church rather than free style kids. Just saying you believe in God doesn't mean you cank't be off track in your actions
Why not sit down with your Mom, if you haven't done something wrong, and talk to her about why you don't feel the need to go and then listen to her about it.

Answer 5

It's a tough question, because alot of parents feel that by forcing you to go to church you will have a stronger faith and morals....I took my son to church up until he decided he didn't want to go anymore, that was when he was about 13 years old, reason being, he always went willingly and enjoyed it, once he started to understand it better, he didn't feel comfortable anymore....I was always forced as a child to attend the 7:30 mass in Latin and I never liked it....I am a non-practicing catholic to some people, but my faith in God and Jesus Christ is immeasurable, so is my sons. I think that if you are allowed to choose it is much healthier, because you will be doing it out of your heart and not because you are forced to....God is everywhere, within you and if you live a righteous life and live by his word, you don't necessarily have to go the church in order to worship him. Like I said, I never wanted to force my son, but I did take him until he decided for himself that he wasn't comfortable and he was old enough to understand his choice....I know alot of people will not agree with me, but it works for us....

Answer 6

Does your Mother regularly attend church? If not, do you think she wants you to go with her so it'll be easier for her to go, too? (Maybe she doesn't want to go alone?) Does she want you to go to church so she can have some alone-time at home? Try and find out the real reason for your Mother's caring - not caring...it's not fair that for a time she doesn't care and six months later she does and wants to force you to go. Is there something in your behavior that she sees that makes her think you could benefit from going back to church? Is there a trust issue between you that "going to church" would solve for her? Can you talk to her about this at all?

I wasn't "raised in a church" when I was a kid, and I'm glad although my father still complains that he wishes he'd taken us kids "to church every Sunday." I'm glad because I naturally "found my own way" in identifying my personal relationship with my "Higher Power" that no one can influence or take away from me. It forced me to consider other religions and look at the "business of religion" and the hypocrisy which surrounds religion in our culture. I didn't force my children to go to church...who am I to do that? I wanted them to want to learn more, and want to go.....and one day when my oldest child was nine or 10, she asked to be taken to a local church. That lasted for a year or so....(as a family we'd go for some holidays, and with our extended families when we'd visit them...)....my children today are in their early 20's and have their own relationship with their own Higher Power that works for them. They believe in God; I do, too. I know my oldest is involved in Friday night Bible studies; I think my youngest attends only on holidays.

Bottom line is....seems like you're going through a passage -- the passage of being 16 and questioning your world. I think this stage is perfectly normal. After all, you're about to be out on your own and you'll use the ability to "question your world" even more than you are doing now. Keep your chin up, try to talk to your Mother more, and try to earn her trust everyday through your own behaviors and actions.

Hope this helps!

Answer 7

I was. As a result I found lots of things I could do. My generation obeyed their parents. We saved the rebellion until we left home and could create our own lives. Your mother is coming from love so you accept her love in this way just as you accept her love in the food she cooks.

I put my favourite novel into the cover of my Prayerbook and read while I was in church. I just stood and did the actions but I was actually reading The Agony and the Ecstacy or something else.

The moment I left home, I abandoned the religion I was brought up in and became pagan to rebel. I was pagan for 45 years as a result. Most of the pagans I met were ex Roman Cathollic also.

So, I did it because it was not worth the misery at home. But in my own terms and lip service only. Then I left.

By the way. I understand how it is to be incredibly spiritual and have no love for organized religion. Organized religion usually kills spirituality in a person. Hold your personal love of the unknown dear, sweet child. You will need it in life, religion only offers pat solutions but no true strength, as it is taught in the West.

And I can see the thumbs down adding up already for that view.

Answer 8

They should not. I have a 16 yr old son and 9 year old daughter, I dont force either of them to go to church. But remember, church, temple, music programmes, art, these are the places you can meet the poorest, richest, prettiest, ugliest, talented, dumb...whatever the reason, all these places gives you good contacts.

Answer 9

No, I don't think that you should be forced to go to church. You are old enough to make most other decisions responsibly on your own, and You know whether or not you should be going to church. I think if you're old enough to stay home on your own, you are likely old enough to decide whether or not you should be going to church.

Answer 10

no, but why do you not like going? Church is a great opportunity to not only learn about God, but to also meet good people.