can u tell me who's right??

Question

ok hubby has a female friend from work, shes dating his best buddy, lastnight she was upset with something my hubby told her about her boyfriend. he took it upon himself to go console her and make her feel better. i felt she disrespected me for asking him to come and talk to her, and he dissrespected me by going to her late at night. the issue is not cheating...i fully trust him. i just dont think its right. am i going overboard by being upset with this??

he didnt ask me to come and he was gone for couple of hours

Answer 1

Your husband had no right to go over there to console her and she had no right to ask him to come over! THEY WERE BOTH IN THE WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell your husband how you feel about this and tell him to talk to her, at work, and tell her to NOT call him anymore - it's not appropriate. Her problems are her problems, even though it was his buddy she dated. She should have called someone in her own family - NOT your husband!
People are extremely vulnerable when they're upset and you never know what could happen. It's best to just stay out of the situation.

Answer 2

Its like this, he screwed up by opening his mouth. He needed to go fix it. Granted he should not be telling anyone stories about their dates. But to get upset because she called him to get the situation put right was not out of line. Nor was his going to fix his own screw up. Did he tell you where he was going? If not then you have a reason to complain. As it is you are just being selfish with the "What about ME" crap.

You have totally missed the point here. There are two traits being exhibited by him that you should applaud. One is concern for others and one is understanding when you have made a mistake and go about correcting it.

You need to grow up a little.
If there is disrespect going around, it is your jealousy.
Jealousy is perhaps the greatest show of disrespect.
It is a mirror for all the bad things you suspect he is doing.
It also really shows your selfishness, also a lack of respect for the other.

I'm also firmly of the opinion that this explanation will also be lost on you. It would be because you are looking for the negative and not where he is doing the right thing.

Answer 3

If you don’t have trust in your life and have jealousy you will never be at ease with yourself. I am sure she is looking for a mans point of view, not that women have a bad one or are all the same idea but your man is neutral and might know stuff about him you don’t. Not all women can talk to other women the same as they can to men. Myself most men I talk to will tell me, oh hell there are more fish in the sea. Well DUH! But when I talk to women about it, there is a completely different perspective, a different way to look at it, a new way to understand my issue. If he is going to cheat on you with her, then they both have other issues issues fare deeper than anyone new. If he does well better sooner than later. Not the cheating part but finding out. People are human, make major errors and mistakes. Fools are the ones how never learn from them or make their lives and the ones around them better for the future.
No one should worry about the past for too long; it's finished and can not be changed.
No one should worry about the future, can’t make it different it hasn't happened yet.
We can only work on the now, for the future to make or lives better in the future.
We are only one this planet once, we don’t get to come back and try to fix or screw ups. We only get one shot at it, so make the best of your life and be good to yourself, be happy and good to everyone and everything else will fall into place the way it is meant to.
All the other answers are great but some of them sound like they are pissed and telling you their story of what happened to them. None of this means it will happen to you. You are smart you have to decide as you will know your man and have to pass judgement on that bases alone.
Never forget these three things.
1.We cant stop Mother nature.
2.We cant stop death.
3. we cant stop love.
Everything else we have control over and have to make choices.
We cant tell others how to think or act. We can however push others away by how we act towards them.
Sometimes bad things happen to good people.
P.s. There are more fish in the sea. Ha
Not all men and women are bad, we make bad choices in our relationships

Answer 4

It's wrong for him to be empathetic to any woman except you after all, you should account for all the female interaction he has in his life anyway.

Does that sound silly?

If you don't think he's cheating this is a non issue unless you're as possessive as that. Cheering up friends is what friends do. If you don't want him to have female friends, tell him that.

You had no bearing in the issue and so you weren't invited. I bet he told you about it though. He's not hiding anything from you, but your need to control every aspect of his life has made you find fault where there is none.

Answer 5

I don't personally believe that he handle it the right way. He should have asked you to come, and how it would make you feel to go console her. I also do not think that it required him going to her house alone for such a length of time. It wasn't his place to make her feel better. As a married man he should have thought of your feelings first. It sounds a bit fishy to me, but it could also be nothing. She shouldn't have expected him to run to her rescue. I would have a long talk with him and ask him why he felt the need to go to her. A talk on the phone should have been enough. If he becomes too defensive about it then maybe you need to do a little detective work to find out why. Good luck honey.

Answer 6

Your being upset is somehow understandable. But is only because you are now seeing the true person your husband is. He cares about every relationship he has. I'm comforted by your not suspecting him to be cheating. Maybe in future you should go with him. If he doesn't ask - offer yourself to go. The danger in blocking him from seeing his friends in need is that you guys will grow apart and that could lead to many unwanted issues - including cheating etc. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 7

It's bad to put yourself in a bad situation...and that's what he did. Even the most trustworthy of people don't really know their limits, and everyone seems to overestimate how 'strong' they are and how they will handle temptation. Maybe he really likes being able to console and 'solve' her problems, maybe you are too self-sufficient and you need to ask for his help once in a while, so that he doesn't feel such a charge running off to help this other girl? Men like to feel like they are taking care of their woman, so sometimes if a woman is so good at taking care, this need in the man is not met. Good Luck.

Answer 8

If you're not worried about him cheating, then what is it you don't like? If she is only a friend and he went to help her, then there shouldn't really be a problem with it normally. So maybe there are two possible reasons... one is that you might actually bejust a little concerned that they are close, or... maybe you're bothered by the fact that he seems to offer her something you feel like he doesn't offer you? Maybe you need to examine your relationship a little. Good Luck :)

Answer 9

well you should not be worried if the situation you described is right. It is important in professional environment when you live and work with your colleagues at work that they are happy and you have good relationships. Hence your hubby is right. Perhaps he may not be very comfortable to share what he may want to share with her if you are around. I guess treat it with an open mind!


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tom
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Answer 10

Men should be given ONE more chance. Talk to him and tell him how it made you feel. If he does it again, then you have some real issues to talk about. It's like when playing cards, always trust the dealer but cut the cards. Translated, trust him but keep a look for signs that his friendship with her is growing.