Can my marrieage ever work???? Part 2?

Question

Thanks for all your answers to my previous question. It's hard to give a comprehensive picture in 1000 characters.

We have had a hard three years because working full time and going to Uni part time and trying to fit it all in with a family is hard.

I do a lot of nice things for my wife and I also help around the house a lot.

I would say I'm a modern man, I dont ask my wife to work but she has to understand that you either have to work hard to get money or stay at home and enjoy the free things.

When we split up I tried hard to win my wife back and it pushed her away but soon after I said that I was going to except that it was over and stop trying to get her back she wanted to work on things.

We have lots of kisses and cuddles during the day but I dont feel like we are connecting (is that just me not connecting?). Whenever I say that i am going to leave it to my wife to be romantic it doesn't happen. Maybe I am expecting too much? Can it work if I feel unfullfilled?

Answer 1

You need to talk to her.
I am married and full time Uni , my husband works and I am paid by my work to do my course.
I would never expect my husband to do everything, I will work and only have time off when I have more kids. Even then I will only take 12 months off and that will be paid.
I think if you are not happy then dont waste your life with her. She might have to go to work if you split up , but hey **** happens.
Work i out or get away.
Dont waste years thinking about it, good luck.

Answer 2

Sounds like you both have had a hard time.
I can only suggest you sit down and look at this logically.
Ask her to describe her needs, and what she wants from you. Then describe your needs and what you want from her. Then work out how you can work something out between you that gives you each something that you want.

Saying 'she has to understand that you either have to work hard to get money or stay at home and enjoy the free things' raises some interesting questions. Are you saying that parenting full time at home is not work? If you are, she might very well get annoyed with you. Help with house work is great, and I hope she appreciates that and the hours you work, but parenting is a dual responsibility.

Nothing is free - staying at home has its pleasures, consequences and its downside too, as does working. Lack of social contact, the almost certainty that any career she has, she will not get on as far or as fast because of a stay at home. Getting back to work can be hard, and women rarely achieve the wages they would have had if they had continued working.

You both sound confused and it certainly sounds that both of you are getting and sending mixed messages. Counselling might be the answer.

Answer 3

Sam, maybe your wife is just not the Romantic type and needs you to be the aggressor in the relationship. Maybe you feel disconnected because of the past and you are worried it may happen again. Let the past go and Both of you move forward. Start going out and doing things with other couples. Enjoy Life and each other. Maybe your wife needs a hobby of some kind. At times we all get in a Rut. You know the things in Life she enjoys, encourage her to go shopping with friends, or take up reading. Hobbys are a way to release Stress and a Good Sex Life is important also. Work on the relationship first and all else will fall in Place.. You hang in there!! Good Luck

Answer 4

Marriage is a commitment and should be respected. Think about counseling and also you my want to check out a book called Divorce Busting by Michele Davis. She also has a web site for people to discuss their problems. The grass is not greener on the other side and if you and your wife will take the time to see the person you fell in love with then you can make it work. If you do not have children, don't until you have resolved your issues. If you do, then please work hard to keep their lives in order. As long as there is not abuse then you must try everything you can to save your marriage and your children. People do not want to believe it but studies have proven children of divorce generally suffer their entire life.

Answer 5

As a woman, I prefer the man to be romantic, but maybe I'm oldfashioned. I like him to surprise me with things and this can even be a little pressy or even a bottle of wine. Flowers are always good too. What I find in men, is that they are only romantic when there's something at the end for them...i.e. sex. It's nice to be told you just want to be cuddled some nights without obligation to do anything else.

Answer 6

a million. Milked a cow or goat: definite 2. said a spider and screamed like a touch woman: definite 3. Had an embarrassing music stuck on your head and by twist of destiny sang it our loud even as human beings were round: definite 4. Eaten an complete %. of cookies by technique of your self in a unmarried evening: definite 5. Fallen UP the steps: definite 6. Went to kiss someone and neglected: definite 7. tried taken a photo and realized you left the lens cap on: definite 8. lengthy gone skinny dipping: NO 9. lengthy gone to the mall and gave a hug to the lease-a-cop: NO 10. needed to fulfill one among your yahoo contacts: definite

Answer 7

Communication is the way to feeling connected. Romance should not be left up to one partner or the other, it should come from both. Find a good marriage counselor and go for at least six months.

Answer 8

She is a lucky woman - but why dont the two of you really communicate and find out the core of the problem between you. If necessary see a marriage counsellor.

Answer 9

for a woman to get pasionate she has to feel secure at the moment both of you are unsure if things are gonna work.she feels this and her body is reacting to it.have a more positive air about it all and she will relax more and be more spontanious.even if you don't feel anymore positive,im sure you want to, so act out the way you want to feel and the way you used to feel and im sure when she starts to react to this it will all soon become real to you both again.

Answer 10

You sound a little confused and I'm sure if you think about it you will be able to discover what it is that YOU want. As far as marriage working, my parents are in their 56th year!