Here is the problem I have a friend that is 25 weeks pregnant has 3 children already...This pregnancy has been really hard on her she has high blood pressure, she has a low lying placenta, she also suffers from preterm labor. Her husband works 2 jobs that second job is just so that they have "play" money. So she is very negative right now and she is so close to giving up. I tell her that everything is going to be ok. I dont live very close to her and I to have 4 children...So I understand some of the stuff that she is going throug. So I guess my question is What can I do for her to make her feel better and the reasure her that everything is going to be ok, and to make the pregnancy not seem so bad..And to help make time go by a little faster. If she goes to term she has 15 weeks left but we know so has about 10 weeks left because of preterm labor...so help what can I do for her to make her feel special and wonderful and this time in her life. Thanks in advance.
2007-02-11 02:46:36 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
BTW I do talk to her everyday. And she is not panning on giving up..she is just having a rough time right now and I want to know how I can help her and be there for her with out just listening and talking because I do do that everyday.
2007-02-11 02:57:07 · update #1
She does have depression and she takes meds for that.
2007-02-11 02:59:30 · update #2
You are such a good friend for even asking this question. Since you don't live near her, call her often and ask how she's doing. That will let her know that you care about her and the baby and what she's going through right now. When you can go and visit her, take her out for a pedicure if she can go out. That makes every woman feel a little bit better for a while. Help her focus on the positive aspects of the baby. What's is she going to name the baby? Ask her what she thinks the baby's going to look like. You know that brings a smile to a mom-to-be's face everytime. When either me or my best friend are feeling down, the other will mail her a little package. (And we live down the street from each other.) It could be a really good book that we like, a postcard, a letter, news clippings. My best friend even made up my horoscope for a week so it could be positive. There's always baby shopping. She could even write a letter to the baby. Does she have a journal? Sometimes
writing helps. I'm trying to think of more. But I know being there for your friend really helps. Good luck to her and the baby.
2007-02-11 02:58:24 · answer #1 · answered by Vasilly 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What exactly do you mean "give up"? You really can't just decide all of a sudden that you don't want to be a mom or a wife... As for the "play money" thing. In todays world I don't think anyone who has kids works just so they can have "play money." Kids are expensive. Maybe you and she need to stop the negative thoughts about her husband. It sounds like he is doing everything he can to provide a comfortable life for his family. Maybe these negative thoughts are part of what's pulling her down? I too have 3 children and 1 on the way. My husband works full time AND is a full time student at the local community college. I don't understand why you seem so down on her husband. Has she thought about counceling? It sounds like maybe the hormone flucuations and her previous preterm labors maybe to blame for feeling rotten. Sometimes it just takes someone outside all the normal loops you are accustom to, to get you to open up and let your feelings out. And by no means do I like to solicite the use of medication during pregnancy, but sometimes it is truely needed to rebalance someone's chemical imbalance. And there are some (I think) safe meds for very depressed pregnant women. Definately keep an eye on her though, definately after birth as women who exibit depression during pregnancy run a higher risk of suffering from severe post partem depression.
2007-02-11 11:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by autumnofserenity@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Send her a big bunch of flowers.
Phone her everyday to ask how she is doing..you know as well as anyone that those pregnancy hormones do wierd things to how we think and can make someone feel really down in the dumps about things.
Can you encourage her to talk to her doctor about how she is feeling?
The 'play money' that her husband earns isn't really that important right now, perhaps you could talk him into being home a little more often to lend a hand during the day for a couple of weeks- it might help your friend feel a bit better.
Think back to how you felt when you were pregnant with your fourth...what was the one thing you would have loved someone to have done for you? Do that for your friend.
2007-02-11 10:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think she need to hear from some other people that are in the same situation or have come out of a similar situatuion. Maybe there are some groups that meet or there are some magazine articles that could make her feel a little better. I think her negativity is coming from feeling like everyone elde in the world is better off in health and financially. You may also want her husband to make sure the doctor know about her negativity. They may know some resources to help her out. You sound like a good friend and you may be helping more than you know.
2007-02-11 10:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by Cheyenne 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Keep being there for her. Explain to her that there are worse things in life to be worried about other than having a wonderful newborn baby in your life. Yes, it may seem right now as if the world is crumbling around her but things will work out keep a positive attitude and go forward.
2007-02-11 11:01:23 · answer #5 · answered by Dice 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think by being there for her and talking to her you are helping more than you know. Perhaps you two should hang out more...even with the distance it would probably be good for her. I think it is the little gestures that mean a lot.. like asking about the baby or helping plan for it. You seem like a great friend and anybody is lucky to have someone like you!
2007-02-11 11:12:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
will if she has three kids you can help take care of her three kids while she resting at home with the coming baby.. she maybe stress because taking care of three kids with another coming.. and the husband is not around to help out.. You should try to help her as much as possible... Are you can spend time with her.. or hire someone to help her out around the house or nanny for her kids... OR just be good friend to visit her. and help her out... being pregant is hard.. espeicaly with 3 kids and another one coming... And depend the age of the kids how close apart they are... Some parents will explain to they kids that they need help around the house and see if the kids can help...
2007-02-11 11:43:13 · answer #7 · answered by babyg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what a lovely friend that you are, I would suggest that you send her a nice card, you can write as little or as much in it as you wish. also just keep intouch generally by phone or email and once she has had the baby try and see if you can make arangements to go and see her, as I am sure that having you there to celebrate her new arrival would mean more than anything to her. good luck
2007-02-11 10:55:45 · answer #8 · answered by thedaddy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her, be supportive. Call her every day to see how she is doing. And just listen. She definately needs you right now. Just simply being there for her will help. Good luck!
2007-02-11 10:51:27 · answer #9 · answered by purple_lily76 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you are her friend and you are there to support her. Maybe next time she will think twice before getting pregnant if she is so miserable with this one. She has no choice but to deal with the situation. Giving up is NOT an option.
2007-02-11 10:54:19 · answer #10 · answered by kim j 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋