How do you get your husbund to get up with your child at least once a week?

Question

I am pregnant and sick, and my husbund never lets me sleep in. Its beginning to bother me a lot, and I dont want to freak out on him, but its getting tiring.

He doesnt have a hard job, he sits at a desk and most of the time does nothing at all. So when my child comes into the room I see no reason why he cant get up and give the child some breakfast so Mommy can get the rest she needs when she has the freaking flu.

Answer 1

lol. easy. Don't get up. Tell him "I am sick. Once a week you will take care of our child." and name that particular day, and then stand your ground and just don't get up on that day. =]]

Answer 2

First congratulation, now about your loving husband not helping you, sit him and tell him that it will be a big help to you if he can help you in the house especially now that your pregnant. Pregnant woman do needs lots of sleep and rest so that baby can be healthy. He doesn't have a job that will put him on this lazy action and not helping you out. Also don't forget to take your prenatal vitamin as well so this way,you will not be feeling so tired. Also during our fregnancy, our hormones is a bit wacko, that's why you have this tension of feeling upset,sad, and everything that goes with the pregnancy.
If this doesn't help, everytime your husband is at home remind him that you just didn't get pregnant by yourself, do tell him that it takes two to tango. Once in a while tell him that you are not the maid that can do everything in the house,and at the same time take care of your first baby. just say that at least a maid get paid cleaning houses......good luck love!

Answer 3

If your verbal attempts haven't worked, mama, use that behavioral modification. It'll never get easier without your insistence on maintaining your boundaries ("this line represents all I can do, and I can't extend it further"). It's your consistent, repeated action (not getting up, nor responding by arguing-remove it from being an issue and make it a fact) that he'll need to respond to.
Give him the respect of a kind 'heads up'. Let him know ahead of time what you're going to do or not do, and why. Regardless of gender or age, sometimes we do well to use the same peaceful techniques with our mates as we do with our children.
"This is what I'm feeling. This is what I'm going to do to fix it. This is what I expect from you in support and cooperation."
A simple thing to say, difficult to set into motion, but not impossible.
Maybe his mom and dad had behaviors that he's inclined to repeat, that's understandable. But I'll bet, with a little reflection, he's aware that he's setting the pattern for his own son. How terrific if he showed junior "how to be helpful to mommy, and look how happy it makes her!"

Answer 4

Having the flu is one time he should be sensitive enough to give an extra 50%...making him give his 100% during the time you are ill. If you can not get him to give you a hand, you can go off the handle, but if that is just out of character for you...invite your mother or auntie to come and stay for a few weeks while you get better!

The the mention of asking my mother or relative to come help gets my husband in GIVING 100% mode. He'd rather loose sleep than have more hens in the house!

Answer 5

I actually went through the same thing with my ex-wife and my stepdaughter. If my Stepdaughter had a bad dream and cried out for her Mother, my ex would just yell at her "It's 3:00am in the morning, I have to work tomorrow, go back to sleep"
This happened twice before I became angry and got up one night and went in and comforted my stepdaughter. After that incident, my Stepdaughter always called for Daddy.
That made me feel real good about our relationship.
It also made me question my relationship with a woman who shows no love or compassion to her own child.
You should both take turns getting up and nurturing your child.
This is best for the child and for all concerned.

Answer 6

Explain to your husband that you both deserve a morning to sleep in and you have found a way. He has 2 days off a week, you will take turns sleeping in. On his morning to get up with the child have easy quick breakfast items on hand, lay out clothes for him to get the child dressed with out alot of effort, set out a video or games for the two of them to play together. It will be a way for him to spend some real quality time together with his child and he may just end up thanking you. It will be memories for him that he will always have. Good luck!

Answer 7

Well, this is Not acceptable at all! You didn't make these children all by your lonesome, so first tell him to start pulling his wait around the house and with your child, soon to be children. Being sick during pregnancy is horrible, especially when you have another child to look after. I am pretty sure you didn;t sign up to have an additional BIG child to also look after. He doesn't have a job, hence; NO EXCUSES, let him know he needs to change this helpless pup attitude and get up and do things. GET A JOB, BE A FATHER, BE A PARTNER. Do not allow this to go on one second more!

Answer 8

He's being a dick, sorry but he is. I hope it's just because he doesn't get it and not that he doesn't care. If it's because he doesn't get it then phrase it to him in a non critical of him way such as....'honey it would mean so much to me if you could do this, it would give me so much more energy for 'other' things' If it's because he just doens't care then you have a much more serious problem and I would strongly reccommend marriage counseling before the kids are older and your still doing it all and resenting him for it. Good luck.

Answer 9

So sorry for your husbands lack of consideration! Ask him why he is being so stubborn about taking the baby out for an hour or so for you, so that you can get some rest? Remind him how terrible it is when he is feeling sick and needs the extra rest, maybe he will sympathize with you. Good luck

Answer 10

One thing you need to do is not refer it to the child as "your's" and start using the term "our's". By doing that you almost infer that it's your child and "his job" to care for it. If he feels more of a father relationship as opposed to a "childcare giver" relationship, maybe he'll be more inclined to take pride in caring for his child. I am a dad of 3 adults. I always loved being a dad. I got up first when my infants cried in the middle of the night...even though I had no idea what to do...but I was there for them and it made me feel useful and necessary as a father.

Answer 11

My husband always helped me, from the beginning I told him we should share all household chores, cooking and helping with the kids. When they were babies (twins) we take turns getting up with them. And to this day he still helps, like I told him we both work and we probably are both just as tired as the other.
So, I hope that your husband will begin helping you. Especially since he doesn't work, he did help you make the babies.
good luck.