i think he may be messing around with someone else, it wont be the first time. i know he loves me and i love him to bits i dont know what to do?
2007-02-11 02:24:07 · 32 answers · asked by pu55y perfect 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh the evidence is messages on his mobile, that is how i found out the first time
2007-02-11 02:38:32 · update #1
Save your Money, go on a good holiday & meet someone else who is not prepared to keep you waiting for 3,285 days before getting you to the altar.
2007-02-11 02:32:26 · answer #1 · answered by DEADMAN WALKING. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If its not the first time he has played around on you, I guarantee it wont be the last. By taking him back when hes cheated, you have virtually given him permission to do it again. You think hes messing around on you again, yet you still want to marry him? Where is your pride girl? You deserve a man who loves and respects you without the cheating. Its far easier to see the writing on the wall before you get married because its harder to see it after youve signed on that dotted line. :love is blind, that is true. You want to believe he loves you, but obviously there is something about you that he doesnt love and is finding it with someone else. The truth hurts, I know, Ive been there, done that, but in the long run it is helpful if you take your blinders off now because after you are married it is going to be a lot harder to find your self respect and put an end to his deceitful ways.
2007-02-11 02:47:12 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where to begin..Why would you even consider marrying a man that has cheated on you..You say that he Loves you(NOT)If he loved you he would not cheat on you.There is NO reason,excuse or justification for cheating EVER..You say that you think he might be messing around on you again,with that said let me tell you this..TRUST is everything in a relationship/marriage without Trust you have nothing.Why would you want to go into a marriage with someone that you obviously do not trust.You will only end up in a divorce.Save yourself the heart-ache and move on now.This man is not the one for you unless you don't care if he is unfaithful to you.You should have more respect for yourself because he obviously does not have any respect for you.If you marry this man you will be back on here asking how to go about getting a divorce.Wisen up honey and move on now.If you stay with him then you have nobody to blame but yourself because all you are doing is telling him that his behavior is acceptable to you and you allow him to do it.You need to take control of your own life and decide how you want to be treated.Good Luck to you.
2007-02-11 02:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't go through with the wedding - even if you can't get any of your money back, at least you won't have to pay for the divorce. Really, I mean it, don't marry this man. There are so many lovely men out there who would treat you so well. Even I have a fantastic boyfriend who treats me like a princess, and I'm a middle aged plain jane!
2007-02-11 04:12:27 · answer #4 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, If you know this man has been and is possibly cheating on you again, WTH would you want to marry someone like that?? Don't you deserve better? Kick him to the curb or you are in for a Lifetime of pain and heartbreak. Think with your head now instead of your heart.. Be Strong and do whats right for you!!
2007-02-11 03:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't you dare marry him until know the truth. Meanwhile, cut down on contacts with him. If it gets to a point that he doesn't seem to act like it's bothering him - yep- he's a cheating. Another tip is don't you marry him until the issue is resolved. Try spying on him or getting someone to help you with this. Or- to heck with all that crap- just dump him and all worries will be gone. Your disappointment will lift after a while. I'm sorry- I'm older and tired of putting up with people and the headaches that come with the package.
2007-02-11 02:58:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To paraphrase Dr. Phil: "We teach people how to treat us." and "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."
Basically, should you be willing to accept the cheating now, he will almost certainly cheat once you are married.
If he is cheating there are several ways you can find out beyond a reasonable doubt.
I'm not saying you have to dump him if he is a cheater, but be prepared to postpone the wedding to resolve this beforehand.
Even if you have tens of thousands of dollars invested in the wedding, it's not worth years of despair or a lifetime of misery.
Dr. Joy advises that if you take a cheater back, you get them to commit to giving up something to you if it ever happens again. For example, if he has a collection or possession that means a great deal to him then he has to give it to you if he cheats again. You could even have it written into a prenuptial agreement.
While being in love is special, you deserve fidelity for your emotional, mental, and physical health.
2007-02-11 02:41:05 · answer #7 · answered by t-betta 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront him about this, you cannot let yourself marry him knowing he has already cheated on you darling. I believe you when you say he loves you but he obviously has issues when it comes to settling down. Letting him get away with it then marrying him will only set the prescience for him and he will continue to do it. Confront him, and I know how tough that will be, postpone the wedding and he has to prove himself to be faithful before you can set the date. Do not worry about letting others down, this is more important than anything or anyone else. He needs to prove himself before he marries you. Maybe counselling will help, he is doing this because he has some emotion in him he cannot express.
2007-02-11 03:15:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
woah. nine years eh?
shoot. I'd have left him after the first time.
What kind of evidence do you have to support your idea he is messing around on you?
oh and btw, he doesn't love you if he's been messing around because he would have thought about your feelings the first time and most certainly the second time.
I'd confront him about it and force him in a corner about it.
If you are unsure, THEN DONT MARRY HIM!!!
2007-02-11 02:29:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why get married after nine years? Just because you marry him doesn't mean he's going to stop messing around on the side. What would he do if it were you doing the messin', bet he wouldn't stick around for the wedding. He'd probably tell you that he couldn't trust you, so won't marry you, just as you should be telling him. Take care of yourself, it doesn't sound like he's going to. Good luck with your future.
2007-02-11 02:42:29 · answer #10 · answered by kisinabrit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be stupid and marry him anyway. C'mon, you already know the answer to your own question. Maybe if he slapped you around alot, you would love him even more. I'm sorry, but I don't understand why women stay in relationships with losers or abusers just because "They love them." A person can only love another person who treats them badly because they do not think much of themselves in the first place. Stop letting your feelings run your life, start using your brain and stop "Enabling" this guy to continue to treat women badly.
2007-02-11 02:43:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋