He's my good friend, known him for a year and a half...he told me he loves me, (and i turned him down) and now im starting to fall for him too
BUT - its complicated...i cannot date him because my family would never approve of him...PLUS, i know that if we were an item, we would constantly argue and fight and i dont see it having a future -
also, im not too sure if he DOES love me, because after he told me, he said it was a joke of some sort (but he doesnt make jokes like that at all)
but i get on with him as a friend despit the countless arguments - what shall i do! He's my friend so i cant avoid him - and i dont want to avoid him...i just want to prevent myself from falling in love with him!
2007-02-11 01:37:29 · 11 answers · asked by Miss Terious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You have answered you own question ,go and find some one Else
2007-02-11 01:44:09 · answer #1 · answered by Mick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Impossible! You are not going to be able to prevent yourself falling in love with him. Don't avoid him, spend time with him, if it was meant to be then you will both fall, together. However, you might find, as times goes on, he starts to irritate you in little ways and you will know in your heart that you couldn't possibly be anything other than friends. If that is the case then you have a friend for life which can only be a good thing.
With regards to your family, please don't live your life for anyone else. If the people around you truly love you then it should be enough for them that you are happy. A man that they disapprove of could make you very happy and a man that they approve of could make you very miserable. Respectability does not count in matters of the heart, nothing does.
Why don't you talk to your friend, tell him exactly how you are feeling, open up to each other. If it doesn't result in you becoming a couple, it will bring you even closer in your friendship. You're going to be fine - you are actually in a win win situation the only undecided factor is whether your prize is going to be a partner or a lifelong friend. Be happy x
2007-02-11 10:05:35 · answer #2 · answered by 3wisemonkeys 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He planted the idea of romance (or did he?), and the seed has now been planted in your mind and it's growing roots!
I also fail to see how someone you always fight with is a "good friend"???
My third observation is what the hell does it have to do with your family?? Why is it for them to approve anything for you?
Back to my first point, he told you he loved you, and that's fine, you see people seem to think telling a non family member that they love them is an overture to romance, it might not be, I've told people I've loved them, I've not wanted to have a relationship with them, but that my concern for their well-being is paramount, even if it's at my own expense. By loving someone you are committed to do what is best for them, even if that's not what is best for you. Love is a commitment, not an emotion, lust and infatuation are the emotions that people keep calling love.
So basically be sure in your mind that his expression of love is also one of romantic involvement. He may just be letting you know that as a friend, you are all important to him.
But after all that, if you think you would argue all the time, I'd not get involved. I'd go with your first reaction, you could now start a process of over-thinking this and reaching another conclusion because you feel compelled to.
2007-02-11 10:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
on the side of him saying it was a joke. its a defence mechanism. he just said it to avoid the pain of rejection.
by the fact that you've stayed friends so long despite the arguments shows that you both value each other a lot. however, there do seem a lot more cons than pros. i say you get yourself something else to think about. if you had another guy do you think you'd be even thinking about him....?
on the side of stopping yourself falling for him...you cant. may sound corny but you cant choose who u fall 4. the only way i can think of stopping it i by distraction - seeing him less, going out with other people etc
2007-02-11 12:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody likes rejection and now you are trying to convince yourself that you are falling for him. Take a deep breath tell yourself you are friends and leave the way open for a more deserving relationship with someone new. You can't base a love on constant arguments, childish games and 'he loves me/he loves me not' sort of scenario. Move on to greater happiness, fast.
2007-02-11 09:53:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, we always want what we think we can't or shouldn't have.
Secondly, maybe all of yuor arguments are because you both have underlying feelings for each other, which makes being just friends very hard. Sort out your feelings, talk to your family (maybe they aren't as uptight as you think) and go from there.
2007-02-11 10:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are missing out something important ...I don't know what, but with all the doubts and the thought of all those arguments don't jump into something you might regret and lose a good friend.
2007-02-11 10:18:15 · answer #7 · answered by lucy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot help who you fall in love with but if you really dont want to be with him then you have to split completely otherwise you will forever be comparing people to him if on the other hand you feel you cant be without him then give in to your fellings
It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
2007-02-11 09:51:08 · answer #8 · answered by londonletch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just continue as friends - it'll only develop into a relationship if you let it. It IS possible to be with a bloke without it getting serious.
2007-02-11 10:06:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why cant your family approve of him its nothing to do with them follow your heart and ask this man if he feels the same as you
2007-02-11 09:56:24 · answer #10 · answered by winnit07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋