... and one of the most loving things a spouse can do is decide to build security into a relationship. Do you agree? What's your personal take on this quote? The quote is from a book by the way.
2007-02-11 00:54:47 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, stars! Thanks to all for the stars and great answers!
2007-02-11 01:17:20 · update #1
"Love, at its roots, is a decision not a feeling?"
It depends on what you define as 'love'. Pop-culture says love is a feeling, its like 'Oh I feel SO so WONDERFUL I am soo so in love with my hubby, i wanna make love to him/her forever and we can live happily ever after. This is, I believe a simplistic take on love. Feelings wear out. Things change. It is to do with some chemical in your brain - which has something to do with evolution of mankind and its survival. Sooner or later this thing turns off, and people stop saying this is wonderful and they start arguing over everything, and the next thing they want is a divorce. The 'fall out of love'.
But this is a simplistic view of love. Real, true love is a commitment to remain, to be loyal to look after your spouse's interests for (most of the time) in the long run - but people often do hurt each other. This is real love, and security is a part of love.
True love is a commitment, and to make that sort of commitment you need a certain mindset, and you need to decide for yourself that I am doing this for her, and only for her, no matter what (when things get, tough, when we argue, when she hates me, when she says she 'doesn't love me anymore etc.); love is a commitment for ever and ever.
That's my take on it anyway.
2007-02-11 01:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that at it's beginning love is a decision. I have never looked at a person and "decided" to love them. It has always started with a feeling or attraction. Kismet, if you will.
However, I believe once you are in a committed relationship or a marriage, you do make a conscious decision to stay committed and create the secure environment for your spouse and your family. This decision has to be made over and over again throughout life to maintain its strength and meaning.
2007-02-11 09:03:08 · answer #2 · answered by Firespider 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is certainly something beyond rationality. Choices can make friends, choices can give you jobs, choices can make or mar your career, choices can affect your success, and a rational use of mind laden with objective and abstract logic can only yield decisions which influence the material side of life.
Love comes as a flash, and for some just at first sight! Love matures, starting with a friendship and goes so much deeper than just knowing each other. Love bonds and emanates from the emotional world. To treat it as a 'decision' is to make it more like being acquisitive. Love is a bond and binds two hearts into a spell full of romance and inexplicable joy.
2007-02-11 09:05:52 · answer #3 · answered by braj k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Love is a decision one makes to Love the object of affection regardless of the failings of the object.
Yes, Love answer the security issue also since it is the root for which everything in marriage and in the Universe works and operates correctly.
2007-02-11 09:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by Dazanix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I disagree, love is a feeling an emotion, how you chose to act is a decision. Two totally different things. If I am an honorable person, and I love someone, then I am going to act and behave and make decisions accordlingly. I am going to do what it takes to make them feel the love, feel special, cherished, important, protected...etc. Love is not a decision, your actions are your decisions.
2007-02-11 09:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Makes sense. Look at all the relationships that don't last because of a lack of security. It could be physical, mental, emotional, financial, etc. It's hard to love someone and be with them in a healthy relationship when they are abusers. And abusers in this instance can be liars, cheaters, hitters, credit spenders.
2007-02-11 09:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by allisoneast 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love is a decision to stay in the marriage regardless of the circumstances and they way we feel about it. love may begin with lust, but when the honeymoon stage ends, it than becomes a decision to stay with the person that u made a vow with, that u promised god u would love, but often times when people don't feel that love anymore they tend to leave the marriage seeking greener pastures.
2007-02-11 09:17:45 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Security is the way a woman feels and recognizes love.
Respect is the way a man feels and recognizes love.
However, love is an emotion, not a decision or feeling.
2007-02-11 09:16:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love is not an emotion, love is not a feeling, love is not happen-stance. Love is a Decision. Love is waking up every day committed to honoring your spouse. If you want to have a great relationship, guess what, it’s up to you.
2007-02-11 09:01:49 · answer #9 · answered by longhaired_jesusfreak 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that is very interesting. it makes one think. i kind of agree
2007-02-11 08:59:40 · answer #10 · answered by HoneyZ2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋