Why Am I gay, I need help dealing with this?

Question

I'm 21 in the military and I'm, stressed out because every morning I wake up and think 'why am I gay?' I'm constantly stressed out because nobody knows I'm gay and all my male friends only discuss women all the time. I'm scared to death to tell anyone I'm gay. I'm masculine but I'm tired of pretending to be straight. This is not a choice, who would chose to be gay? I'm at war with myself and I just to hear some insight.

Answer 1

why are you gay? thats not meant to sound mean or anything, just be truthful. COMPLETELY truthful with yourself. youre gay because thats who you are. if you have blue eyes, unless you get weird colored contacts or something, you will always have blue eyes. dont try to cover yourself up!!! theres nothing wrong with being gay. nothing at all. so youre fine. really. go to a club. thatll remind you why ; ) winkwink. also, if you joined the military knowing that they werent exactly against-homophobic-people ralliers, you are already very strong, emotionally. start with telling your closest friends that youre gay. if they really do love you for who you are inside, they will respect you, no matter what theyre beliefs are on the subject. just so you know, one of my really good friends is gay, and i still love him (as a friend you kno....) and its great to see him happy with his boyfriend. dont worry and relax. best of luck hon, xoxoxo. caitlyn

Answer 2

You went into the military knowing they were not gay friendly. We all know that, so you made a decision to join anyway. I suggest you keep yourself alive and unhurt in any way you can, and worry about your sexuality when you get out. The chest pounding your male companions are doing is typical of any group of guys together, they focus on talking about women so that no one thinks they are gay. You don't have to join in, but to expect the military to be something its not is just something that isn't going to happen.

Your other option is to ask for a discharge because you are gay.

Answer 3

Relax for a second.
You have a long time to understand the 'whys'. For now, just focus on surviving, and then moving on to some place supportive. You is who you is. The only question is weather you will be strong enough to be a brave, healthy, productive gay person, or a messed up closet case who gets married and does things on the side.
For me, the 'why' is all about biology. In the animal world, it makes sense for a small part of the population to focus on it's clan's survival instead of making it's own babies. Therefor I spend a lot of money and time on my nieces and nephews. They give me great meaning and joy, and I feel like I 'fit'.

I wish you the best.

Answer 4

I have been there, so I know what you mean.

You need to take care of yourself. this means 'keeping your own counsel', and being careful who you confide in, until you get out of the military.

You might consider getting a discharge, since you will not be supported by your superiors against bullying and violent abuse, should your secret get out to them. Yeah, this is what we, gay people, go through.

Good luck.

Answer 5

dont worry about it! im straight but feel bisexual. just be yourself and maybe write your feelings out. its none of there business of your sexuality. its just part of you. there are many masculine men that are gay. the military is harsh on gay/ bi people i heard. both my friends brothers are in the military! and were both from jersey haha ( your display name) good luck dude you can e-mail me.

[e-mail]

Answer 6

You are gay because that is how God made you to be.

You need to get out of the military and begin to accept how God made you.