I've been dating a younger guy for about 5 months, I'm 31 and he's 24. Anyway I've just found out I'm 8 weeks pregnant, the baby isn't planned and my partner is just trying to get his career off the ground.
Should I tell him that I'm pregnant or have an abortion and carry one with the relationship like nothing has happened.
We have talked about our long term future together and we would like kids together one day (maybe 3 or 4 years time).
2007-02-11 00:42:22 · 54 answers · asked by Bouncer 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Can I just add that I was on the pill but it obviously failed.
2007-02-11 00:52:00 · update #1
1st of all, if you didn't want kids right now you should have though about birth control and contraception then you wouldn't have been in this position in the 1st place.
Your boyfriend needs to know about the baby and you should decide together what you are going to do. He has every right to know that you are pregnant. If you are still together in years to come this would come out eventually and could be damaging to your relationship if you decide to have an abortion without telling him. This is not just a cut and dry decision, it could have physcological effects on you so you really must tell him and both sit down together and really talk about whats best, it won't be an easy decision but whatever the outcome you will have to live with it so please don't make any rational decisions.
I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide.
2007-02-11 00:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by deelightuk2004 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
okay heres the thing you have to think about you too. You are 31 and im not saying thats old.. but it is older. You have to think about what an abortion would do to you physically and mentally. If you guys were planing a baby anyways then there shouldnt be a problem now. You wouldnt be able to carry on the relationship just like nothing ever happened either. I know ppl who have had abortions its very emotional. some never get over it. I am not judging.. it is your choice.. but i would think about how your going to feel later after an abortion. It may not be the right thing to do. What if this is your only chance to have a baby? Theres one of the many questions to ask yourself. I hope this helps in some way.
2007-02-18 15:09:18 · answer #2 · answered by proudtobeme_2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would a baby stop your partners career taking off? People can have kids and have a career at the same time. What do you want to do? He has the right to know that you are carrying his child there are choices to be made. An abortion is not a quick fix it solution either. Do you want this baby? Whatever you decide you both need each others support for whatever decision you reach. If you don't get the support from him then turn to a close friends or family for this.
2007-02-18 03:59:50 · answer #3 · answered by flymetothemoon279 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember this baby is jointly your partners he should be part of the decisions you make you should sit down and talk this through you never know he might glad that this accident happened sometimes the things that we dont plan are the plans that work out the best there is no reason that he still cant get his career off the ground just because the two of you have had a baby I've two kids one at 1 & one at 2 and i start my nursing course this august. If the two of you have talked about having kids it sounds like he wont be that upset about it but he may real upset if he finds out you've had an abortion without telling him first it could ruin what the two of you have together just be honest with him if not you may lose him things will work out they always do Good Luck with what ever you do
2007-02-11 01:29:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you go ahead with an abortion without telling him it will only make ur relationship doomed from the start.even though you are both not ready for a baby,its better to tell your partner, so you can both decide what steps to take next. this is his baby too so even though he might not be ready he still might not want to get rid of it.
keeping secrets is never any good and will always get found out, when you have a baby the midwife will need to know about the termination and it will be on your health records throughout the next pregnancy,your partner will find out!
talk to him and decide what you want to do together..thats what a relationship is all about,you both old enough to know what you want.
also may i suggest after the birth or termination,you try a different form of contraception.
goodluck to you! hope you both end up happy with the decision you made!
2007-02-17 06:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by yummy_mummy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you're pregnant. If you choose to have an abortion and not tell him your relationship will never be the same. Because you will know that you lied to him. If your relationship can't survive this maybe it wasn't meant to be. Mistakes happen birth control fails all of the time, but just check around. See how many fantastic couples there are out there wanting to adopt. And you never know until you go through with it if you can handle the psychological ramifications of an abortion. And he did help create that life growing inside of you does he not have the right to know? To help make that decision? This is all just stuff to think about ultimately it is your choice. Good luck in whatever you decide.
2007-02-15 03:41:00 · answer #6 · answered by galixcysmagic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is a decision that should be made by both parents. I know it doesn't always work like that, but in a perfect world it would. Most of my guy friends that were forever scared of having kids were excited when they had an accidental baby. They almost all say: "Best thing that ever happened to me." If he's 31 and want to just now start his career, that will take what? a 1-4 years? maybe longer. You should at least talk to him about it.
2007-02-11 00:47:46 · answer #7 · answered by brian m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, well for starters,as the father of the baby he has rights and should be told,if you want to keep the baby then give him a choice.Explain you are pregnant even tho it was not planned things do happen for a reason,you were on the pill and became pregnant anyway that should tell you Devine Intervention,you were meant to have a baby for whatever reason,back to the choices,tell him that he can either be there for you and the baby help raise him/her and play an active role as the daddy,or he can walk away not look back no regrets no reprisals.You would be surprised at how things go with men when they are not pushed or forced into a decision.FYI,I also became pregnant while on birth control,3 times.That was when I found out I was alergic to them.Recently I had another baby,and new I could not raise another one on my own,I am 38 and I chose to give my baby to a WONDERFUL FAMILY,also I did it to keep him safe from another my ex-husband who was very upset because I had a child that was not from him.and he threatend harm to me and my beautiful baby.
2007-02-18 17:30:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. My husband and I were in a similar situation, except he is older, I am younger. This is something that you both need to agree on. He may be against abortion. If you both decide to have the child there are still options open to you, like adoption, open or closed. Use the resources you have but don't keep this from your boyfriend. Because while this pregnancy may end the relationship a hidden abortion will. The truth always comes out. Usually in fights.
Note on pills. There are some that do not work unless you take them at the same time everyday. These are usually the ones without estrogen.
2007-02-11 00:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by kittenbrower 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oooh you have to talk with him and tell him about this - its not fair he gets no say, and will most likely feel betrayed if he knew you left him out of this..... an abortion should really be a joint desicion - besides, then if you both decide having a baby isnt the best thing for you right now, you will have your partners support, understanding and sympathy throughout the abortion process....
it could turn out that you both decide a baby may be a strain but the blessings outweigh any materialistic stress.
This is a tough desicion - and shouldnt really be taken lightly or alone... please chat to your partner and also consider chatting with the gp or a counsellor also xoxox
2007-02-11 01:18:54 · answer #10 · answered by xxangel_allyssaxx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋