This mother is by far a horrible person, she knew that her daughter was being molested and did nothing. My husband and I went to the law and the court gave her to us permanent.. The little girl is safe now she is 8, she is happy but now that the case is close the visitation is up to us, first she had supervised visit at the department I had to take her out of the school once a week in order for her to see her daughter. But now is up to us. and this woman hates me, because this baby was conceive during my marriage and she had the baby so my husband could leave me for her and it didnt happend, she hates me. what can I do to make this visits bearable for my step baby whos being trough enough drama already. I really do not want my husband going off somewhere for the visitations, I think they should be in our home..is this wrong?? need some advice.
2007-02-11 00:31:17 · 13 answers · asked by boricua_2290 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The reason I am not to open to the idea of them meeting somewhere with the child is because this woman tends to loose control when she sees my husband, she curse and say things to heat up things, that is why she lost unsupervised visititations, the ones she use to get wich envolved her mother supervising the visitations at the grandmas house and she mess that up by making a scene everytime he took the little girl to the visit and they would talk and argue so much with the little girl that cause her to wet her pants everytime she went around either of the mother family member,is not that I dont trust them together in a park.. is that this woman is outrageous she is pist and somehow she doesnt do things like that when im around is only when she sees my husband somewhere alone.. the little girl doesnt even want the visits but is the law, she gets somekind of visitations.
2007-02-11 01:00:53 · update #1
yes im having lots of reactions because i call my step daugther.. but honest to God it was never my intentions to take no ones child away, inside of me all i want it to do was proctect my baby because i've known her sense she was a baby... she calls me mommy and i know she is mine now but my mothers instinct still feels hurt for this mother whom did so wrong. I do take care of this little girl and love her so much that I dont even understand.. I never had a baby girl but God decided to give me one anyway.. and I will protect her for the rest of my life.. I commit my self to this in front of that judge and God.. She is my child.
2007-02-11 01:47:40 · update #2
I'm with you. I think that she should have to come to your home. And since it up to you then make this the rule and stick to it. All types of women can give birth but it takes a real woman to be a good mom. You are being a good mom. Tell her that. You may have given birth to her but she is my daughter and you will not tramatise her any more. You will visit her at my house and if you start anything I will have you removed by the police and you will eventually lose your visitations if you can't control yourself. Keep up the good work and be strong . It sounds like that little girl needs you and you may be the only solid foundation that she will have in her life. And it might be a good idea if you refer to her as your daughter and not your husbands. and not step. After all , now, she is your daughter and you are doing a good job, you have earned that title.
2007-02-11 01:40:44 · answer #1 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your husband's child, right? Why don't you want him going off somewhere, some neutral ground like a park? You don't trust your husband? You can't have every aspect the way you want it....you've got the kid, you are raising her and protecting her, so if you REALLY WANT no more drama for the child, then you should make the visits as bearable as possible by letting go of the control a bit, let your husband take her....if you trust him, then this shouldn't be a problem....
2007-02-11 00:38:50 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you felt secured when the visit was supervised at the department. I think you should continue that process until such a time that you feel comfortable. That is if the department will allow it.
On the other hand find someone...your best lady friend...or a relative other than your husband to accompany you to a neutral site...possibly a play ground...to allow for the visit. And do make the visit less frequent as time progresses. Reduce to once a month...this is to help the child gain more stability in her life with you and your husband.
Whatever you do...do not allow her to come visit at your home. It is a recipe for disaster.
2007-02-11 00:56:15 · answer #3 · answered by Dazanix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I can't imagine the termoil of that little girl as well as the two of you. I know the law will stick to the mother even though that she's not on her right mind. What you are doing is far more than being this little girl biological mother.Don't let it get to you if the little girl's mom hates you,. The law is in your side no matter how much she hates you. Now that your step daughter is with you, do talk to her, tell her how much you love her and you will be there for her and will protect her from those who's going to hurt her. Love is more powerful than anything on this world and if you show her that you'll always be there for her, then she's going to trust you as well as depend on you. I wish you luck but I know you are doing the right thing to make her feel safe...bless you!!
2007-02-11 00:56:00 · answer #4 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This situation sucks for you. I think you are extremely forgiving. Not sure I would have enough inside me to be the same. I believe you should be in control of the visitation. I'm not sure I would want this woman in my home. Could you not meet at a park or restaurant. You and hubby could be close without interfering in the time mother and daughter spend together. Never leave husband alone with her again.
2007-02-11 00:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by noddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Continue being kind and considerate. It is great that the mother of the child still wants to be with her so encourage it. Re the place of the visits talk to your husband what does he think? none of us are perfect so all we can do is adjust. Your home would probably be the best place as long as everyone is happy. Your reward will be seeing a happy 8 year old who is loved by all around her so her comfort and safety is probably the most important.
2007-02-11 01:01:58 · answer #6 · answered by njss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One, the visitations would be in my home. Two, Husband and her would never -NEVER- be alone together long enough for her to even accuse him of asking for anything inappropriate (to protect all three of you) and third I would never ever again refer to that child as "step" anything.
She's been through a lot. The child needs something solid. Something unwavering. Husband may never make that mistake again but, he has and that will show the child he's not rock solid as she gets older. On the other hand, you've accepted this child into your home. It sounds as if you're trying to do right by her. You could be that solid cornerstone for her. I would suggest and hope that you open your heart and make her your very own daughter regardless of who's womb she was produced in. I know both of you will be blessed for it in the long run.
2007-02-11 00:45:05 · answer #7 · answered by penhead72 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a mess and most woman would have dumped your husband over this. Are you saying that you still cant trust him to be alone with this woman? If so you have serious problems in your relationship. You need to allow your husband to deal with the visitation. This is his mess as far as the mother is concerned and he should deal with it. If you cant trust the two of them together than leave him. You are a good person to be there for the child but any dealings with her should be up to him.
2007-02-11 00:38:31 · answer #8 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so your husband had an affair with this woman. She got pregnant by him but stayed with you and now you have her daughter. Wow!
You are a wonderful person to take this girl in and raise her as your own. If there is a god you certainly deserve his or her blessings.
and yea you're right to not want your husband alone with her. Neither of them can be trusted. Make the visit in your home and restrict it to a public type area like the kitchen. or in some public place like a mall and all of you go.
2007-02-11 00:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep the visits supervised and let that woman know you're watching her and will not hesitate to report her if she messes up. The child's safety and well being comes first and you should care less if this woman hates you.
2007-02-11 01:38:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋