My husband and I have been married for over 7 years. The first two years were great. Now, all we do is argue over everything. He overlooks my needs completely while he expects his to be met. He is very selfish and doesn't know the meaning of the word compromise. I want a divorce. He doesn't take me seriously. I have no financial independence and three small children. We've been to a marriage councilor who even diagnosed that my needs need to be met. He ignores all of our problems and only fixes things that pertain to him. I love him but see no hope. How can I get out? I am at the end of my rope and tired of being unhappy.
2007-02-11 00:24:47 · 8 answers · asked by Teddy Bear 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to pray that while your going through this crisis that God will be with you and that HE will made the decision for you.
If you feel it is better to get a divorce ask God to support you.
People are in our lifes for a reason..maybe your husband is supposed to stay longer..or maybe his duty that God sent him to do is over..and is time to move on..remember..your destiny is never tied down to anyone that left. if someone left or you left someone is for a reason..dont go back there.
2007-02-11 00:30:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to start by taking the first step. You can either chose to file for divorce or a legal seperation.
If you can show that you have been dependent on your husband for a certian number of years - there is almost a sure chance that he will be forced to pay you allimony. Also, depending on who gets custody of the children you can also get a seperate stipend for child support.
The sad thing is, that if your husband isn't doing a lot for you know, he may just as well ignore the court ordered payments. Not legal, but they can be hard and time consuming to enforce.
You shouldn't stay in a relationship where you are so completely fustrated and alone. If you have tried to fix this marriage repeatedly, and have tried to make it better for the entire family with no sucess then you have to leave. The kids need a more stable home life where the mother and father aren't always arguing and fighting.
2007-02-11 08:32:55 · answer #2 · answered by noncrazed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-husband and I did that for 4 years and I was in your exact position, so I waited and fought and fought. When I was pregnant with our second daughter he left me on my birthday for another woman and made me move out that weekend. I was scarred so much from that experience and I even had to live in government housing for awhile, but I started watching kids out of my home and made so much money that I was able to buy my own home. Now dont get me wrong it was hard but looking back I got married because society demanded I got married before I was 21 (at least that is how it is where I am from). Once I got my confidence back and realized that there were still good men out there that would love a divorce woman with two kids and (yes stretch marks) I started finding me. That was three years ago and their father is still very active in their lives and I now work for a medical corporation making almost 100K a year. And I did met a wonderful man that love me (for me) and my daughters. What ever your choice is dont make it souly on what is best for your children, your children will be better kids if their parents are happy. Take this from someone who knows.
2007-02-11 09:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by SIMPILY SILLY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon you have the answers to your own question... you are tired of being unhappy.. and hapiness cant be bought or even compromise happiness should come from two people that are happy being together and think of each other as the number one in the world... and by the way you are writing it seems that number one in his list is him.. not fair.
even the counselor tells you you have needs to be met and he is not cooperating do your self a favor and put you in your number one list because you deserve to be happy.. there is no use to keep on trying if he refuse to understand you. about the support of your children are they his?? if they are CHILD SUPPORT ORDERED BY COURT... he doesnt have to love you but he does have to support his children and when it comes to this any judge will help him compromize on this one. Give your self the gift of peace of mind and be happy else where. you are a woman and god gave us women the gift of strength and is within us. be strong for your children and move on.. God bless you sister.. good luck.
2007-02-11 09:27:58 · answer #4 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like he is a very selfish person and there is no hope from him. For a start you need to learn to be financially independent before leaving him. Or if you leave would u be able to get any money from him. He knows that you can't live without him hence he takes no effort to meeting your needs, you are too dependent on him.
2007-02-11 08:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by Dani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should divorce with him. It's not fair that he just looks out for himself! You know, girls should be respected too. Find someone else that will certainly make you happy for the rest of your life.
2007-02-11 08:30:24 · answer #6 · answered by abi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you need to find out if there is aplace you and your kids can go . then when he goes to work pack up cloths and kids and go to that spot and start plans for your divorce . you might find amother or uncle and aunt to be helpful i wish you the best of luck teady bear
2007-02-11 08:33:30 · answer #7 · answered by toycop_mark 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce him why would wait u abusly want to why try to make it better when it only seems to get worse
2007-02-11 08:45:44 · answer #8 · answered by adorkable8899955 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋