I have my husband with 2 sons, but I feel unhappiness because I found I was in fact a lesbian after I lived with my husband for 4 years . To find my true love, I join one great lesbian dating club(http://www.ldate.com/i/lesbianlove)...... and incredible that I found my soul mate about one month later. She also love me very much. We had a great online chat and I could not wait to have a chat with her face to face. After having a face to face chat with her, she said she could not live without me, she wanted me to marry her asap. I also would like to marry her, but should I desert my husband and two sons? Please tell me how to deal with the problem, I am really in a bad mood and do not know how to do.
2007-02-11 00:23:28 · 8 answers · asked by Lisa B 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Welcome.
Seriously, I would advise thinking very hard before you throw everything up for the first woman you have met.
If you are a lesbian, then the relationship with your husband will have to ... well, alter. However, being a lesbian does not stop you being a mother.
You need to talk to someone who knows you well, someone who can offer the best advice. Failing that, a counsellor - check your local LGBT centre.
You should think carefully before acting.
Good luck
.
2007-02-11 01:16:13 · answer #1 · answered by abetterfate 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have decided to destroy your life and your children's life because you met one person one time?
You're unhappy all right but what you are doing isn't going to solve the problem, its simply running away from the problem. I suggest you break off all ties to this woman and get yourself into counseling. The very fact that she doesn't have any conscious about having an affair with a married woman (I'm assuming you told her about your husband and children), makes her character suspect. You need counseling to help discover why you are unhappy and IF you are a Lesbian, you need the tools to help you make the best decision for your children, your husband and yourself. You cannot simply walk away from them as if they don't matter, your primary responsibility right now is to them, not yourself.
If you still feel like you do once you have explored what is really going on, then you can make some decisions about whats best for you. It wouldn't be the first time that a woman married and had kids and then realized that she wasn't heterosexual, that's exactly why many Lesbians have children. But you aren't handling this with self respect, nor for any concern for your children and that isn't right and its certainly not fair to them.
Good luck.
2007-02-11 08:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to think about this very carefully.
Do you have someone that knows you so well that you can talk to?
Its NEVER to late to find out about things tho. Sometimes we just discover things later in life cause we weren't meant to know it sooner. (even tho we wish we did lol)
You can get a divorce if your that unhappy. But you will ALWAYS be a mother. Be very careful cause if you divorce thier father and jump into a marriage with the woman.... SHE will become evil in your children's eyes. She'll be a "homewrecker'" to them.
Children never want thier parents to split so parents new wife/husband become a "most hated person" to them.
It also depends on how old your children are of course. Every child is different but as a young child, they could think its thier fault mom and dad split so thats something to think about. (even if you say it wasn't... once a kid made up thier mind they tend to stick to it)
I think you should sit down with your husband alone. Talk to him about your feelings... be very honest. Things just happen, sometimes we can't control it cause its the way your life was suppose to go.
If you can't talk to your husband, talk to someone who knows you well. What does your girlfriend have to say about all this??
2007-02-11 15:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by tashasw79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold up! Don't rush into anything. The feelings you are having could be a New adventure and/or New Beginning. Your New Lover may get hurt if you are not truly sure. Did you try to spice up your present relationship with your husband first?
2007-02-11 08:32:43 · answer #4 · answered by just Reese 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like lust, not love. You have a responsibility to your ramily right now. Handle your family business like an adult, get a divorce if you want and be very careful of your children's feelings. This will be the hardest thing in their life to deal with. You need to put them first. When EVERYTHING is settled with them, you may proceed with your outside love.
2007-02-11 08:27:53 · answer #5 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am straight, but I know for a fact that a lot (NOT all) only call themselves bi-les-gay because they think that them being attracted to the same sex means that they are gay; but that isn't true. As humans our bodies work in strange ways. I'm no doctor, but the reason you may have feelings could be wanting a change? I think you are confusedl; maybe you want out from all the stress and think a change is right for you, but just because you are attracted to someone whether it be for their looks or personality doesn't mean your bi or lesbian. You have a responsibility to your family and you chose that life willingly. The feelings for her will eventually pass, you just gotta give it time.
2007-02-11 08:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by Catwoman 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's not worth it..sex appeal is only temporary.20 minutes of pleasure 9 months of agony.Be straight.I would maybe just experience it only. a fling once in awhile.
2007-02-15 03:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by adam a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes do it get married have children, live a happy life.
your husband and kids don't want you any way, do them a favor get out of their life
2007-02-11 08:43:25 · answer #8 · answered by wacky weed 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋