Most of my friends are married and have children, and so they invite me to their kids' birthday parties and expect me to buy gifts. You wont believe how much money I've spent over the years buying wedding presents, baby shower gifts, gifts for their kids' birthdays you name it. Yet, I choose not to get married or have kids and I don't even get a card from them on my birthday. I'm not trying to sound selfish and I actually don't even want them to buy me a present (that would be so childish) but I really am hesitant about buying any more gifts in the future! Should I start saving my money?? What would you do?
2007-02-10 20:58:38 · 10 answers · asked by meredith 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
We live in a self centered society. It is pretty pathetic that they cant even send you a birthday card.
My advice is to save your money mainly because people have more than they need anyway. Save the gift buying for people who really need something and those who know how to appreciate what they do get.
2007-02-10 21:04:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can get pretty expensive today having to buy gifts for all occasions. Birthdays, weddings and showers add up fast. Being the only single one, your friends probably don't realize the burden it places on you. You could 1) stop going to the parties and just send a card. 2) keep going and just take a card 3) only go to the really close friends and get an inexpensive gift (that could cut down on some of the cost) As for weddings and showers, i don't know what to tell you. Depending on how close the person is, it depends on if you should attend- you could get with another friend and get a gift together and split the cost. For kids birthdays (I have a 4 yr old and 6 yr old girs), they don't need expensive gifts. My kids seem to enjoy the cheap toys from the dollar store more than anything. I often stock up on toys from the dollare store or end of season sales when stuff is on clearance and then I have things on hand for gifts, so I don't have to go out and buy something each time. Kids love to get coloring books and crayons/markers, stickers, anything crafty- all inexpensive (back-to-school sales are great for stocking up on this stuff). Also, anything that makes noise. For girls- the dollar stores always has dress up stuff for $1- boas, crowns, jewelry- you can get what looks like a whole bag full of stuff to the kid for $5 and they will love it!!! Boys love the dinosaurs right now, cars, dart guns, etc. Go to the dollar stores, get several items for a few bucks and it will seem like alot to the kids- that's all they care about. Like I said they love that stuff. Hope some of these ideas were helpful. Oh yeah, and those $5 gift books to McDonald's are a big hit too!! You're single- save some $$$, kids don't need alot of expensive items. Anything that does cost alot is the parents responsibility to get anyway. The parties are supposed to be for gathering people together to have a good time. If you are stressed out, you won't enjoy it anyway. So give yourself a break, your friends won't care and if they do- they need to readjust their priorities. Good luck. And I hope you do something fun with the money you save.
2007-02-11 05:21:49 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should start saving your money, obviously. You know, no matter how people say '''give but dont expect'', I really dont believe in it, because you are not really ''expecting'' that they give you gifts the way you do, but you do feel that giving a gift in itself is being thoughtful and they are not really thoughtful. So, the thought you are having right now on whether you are selfish or no, does not come into question. You were not selfish and that is why you felt that their occassions were important and you felt the need to show just that.
However, now that you know, just try to curtail. Like even if an occassion comes, you do not have to buy something really expensive, but something small, less expensive, and thoughtful. When you stop outright, and cut away yourself, or whatever was normal of you, that is when they would really think that you may have been thinking along these lines, which again, is okay, because it is your choice if you should or shouldnt.
On the whole, stop. And in some ways, please be honest and ask yourself ''am i expecting love from them'' (although we are talking about gifts here), and you are upset they dont really care ? And also, think on the line you have said here '''expect me to buy gifts''', did they really tell you, or indirectly convey the message that they expect gifts from you....so thats it, thats not a very true freindship anyway..
Just move on. You have plenty of things to do and you will get married soon too, whatever your choice is...you cant be sure when you really would come across someone right. So dont get upset, just move on. Keep aloof and do not encourage or shower gifts on people you know dont care about you. You do not have to express with gifts, but you could call them up and wish or wahtever....
goodluck
2007-02-11 05:19:59 · answer #3 · answered by arya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't buy anymore gifts. I am a parent and I don't feel it neccessary for anyone to give my children a present. Just show up and say happy birthday!
kids have too much crap anyway.
2007-02-11 05:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
am facing the same problem exactly and all what am asking for is some one to tell me Happy birthday in my birthday nothing more my new plan is to start saving money or start bringing much cheaper gifts
2007-02-11 05:04:35 · answer #5 · answered by Reasonable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The point of giving isn't to receive in return. Maybe you should look towards yourself to find the answers. What are you really lacking- I doubt its the gifts at all that have you upset.
Peace be with you.
2007-02-11 05:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by firecracker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately thats how life is, I dont think that you should stop buying for the kids. I doubt that your friends are intentionally overlooking your birthday (christmas whatever) but they are probably so involved with their families that its hard to do for everyone..
2007-02-11 05:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know your pain. I lost a total of about 13,000 and my car which I had paid off, to this girl who said she liked me recently.
It really hurt, I didn't think people can be so mean to me, when I tried to be nice.
I guess, just move on, try to be nice, don't give so much later.
Be stingy if you have to, sometimes you have to look out for yourself or people will run all over you.
2007-02-11 05:01:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firm rule, gifts to immediate family only when it comes to kids since you don't have kids.
2007-02-11 05:07:26 · answer #9 · answered by JUAN FRAN$$$ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy you gave...but if you're not, then save your $ and only send cards or don't bother....... n
2007-02-11 05:07:33 · answer #10 · answered by Nikki 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋