People always use the argument, "you were in control of your actions". But is that always true?

Question

Many people point fingers at others who seem to have done something wrong, & say they were in control of their actions so they are the blame for something. But is that always true?

An example of the physical aspect: We humans must urinate. We can control to a degree when we urinate, & where, but we have no control over the action of urinating. It is apart of our genetics.

An example of the mental aspect: We all desire sex/love, it's in our genetics, which is why every single human being at some point in their lives seek it out or accept when the opportuity is there the way you like it. This is why teaching abstinance in school to protect those from stds doesn't work. We're animals who crave sex.

Example 3: A child raised poorly will behave poorly if he/she doesn't know any better, & doesn't know the society rules.

Question is, how can people always use the "you're in control of you" excuse when things go wrong, when that is not always true?

In Conclusion, it seesm to me that your only in control of what you're aware of. Like a killer who kills, and clearly knows it's wrong. He/she was obviously in control of their actions and didn't want to control themselves. But sometimes people say this and are completely wrong about the person.

whattheheck: I have to ask, do you then believe that everything bad that happens to the individual, is the indoviduals fault? Is it then the 4 year olds fault when it does something that is frowned upon by society, and he/she was unaware of it?

OU812: Interesting answer. First, you have no idea what I expected for a response. What I expected was a variety of opinions and ideas that I can have good disscussion with.

Secondly: if it is true that everyone is responsible for every act, that means every victim is to blame for their problems.

Third: Based on what you said, you must also believe that all babies and children are responsible for every thing they do that society says is wrong, regardless to whether or not they were aware of the rules.

What do you think?

Wendy G: Great answer. I agree that once one is an adult, they know right from wrong for the most part, & so they usually are to blame if they cause a problem in society. & I do agree that children, for the most part, should not be held to the same standards. & I agree that the gang members are at fault, unless coerced.

However, I think many gang members are coerced in one way or another because if one doesn't kill, they themselves may be killed by their own for "punking out". The law doesn't see it that way, your punished regardless. But those who aren't coerced, are wrong all the way.

I think adults are to blame only if they are aware of right & wrong in certain situations. Sometimes you really weren't aware of something, & because of that you thought you were doing a good thing, but learn later that it was wrong. How are you at fault if you were unaware. It's the same as a child situation, some do know right from wrong yet get away with things because they're kids.

Answer 1

What you are talking about is defined by a very fine line, and it depends on specifics. Personal responsibility is key in this issue. I'll discuss your third example since it is most pertinent to this argument. Example three is true...however, while it is a REASON for poor behavior, it is not an "excuse." Let's use the example of gangs. Kids growing up in economically depressed, urban areas are more likely to join gangs, because their environment is rife with violence and poverty, and gangs are seen as way to protect oneself, and possibly rise above the dire poverty. And, because of the pervasive violence of their environment, violent behavior is seen as more of the norm. This is why gangs exist. Now take an individual, a gang member, who shoots and kills another gang member. Is he responsible for his actions, was he "in control"? Did he know that what he did was wrong? Could he have made the choice not to do it, despite the disadvantages? My answer is that he is still culpable. Adult humans beings know right from wrong, and while it may be a great deal more difficult for someone who grew up in a violent environment to make the right choice, that person, does, ultimately HAVE A CHOICE! (Unless coerced, which is a different matter all-together.) And because of that choice, he IS in control of his actions, he IS responsible, despite the "push" from his environment that makes that choice more difficult.
There are exceptions. The mentally ill (delusional) person who thought his life was in jeopardy because of his mental illness, and not because of any real threat. His INTENT was self defense, his mind was so broken that he could not grasp reality. (Hence, the insanity plea.) And children. Children's brains are not fully developed (particularly the areas that facilitate reasoning and impulse control), and will not be until late teens. Children and teens should not be held up to the same standards (morally) as adults, because of this.
EDIT--I see what you are saying about gangs. I do know that once in a gang, it is very hard to leave, as you risk being killed by your own "brothers". Another thing to think about is that many gang members become members when they are children (early teens) and cannot rationalize the dangers and risks. And once in that environment, it is nearly impossible to escape. BUT, does that translate into more lenient punishment for (adult) gang members? I think that would be dangerous. Again, adults have a choice, and unless they feel their life is in immediate danger (someone else is shooting at them) they can choose to do the right thing, though, again, it IS harder, and I fully recognize that. I think it DOES mean that we should understand how environmental factors such as poverty and the prevalence of violence affect children growing up in that environment, and work to remedy it, with better education, better after school programs, and more programs designed to eliminate generational poverty and "learned helplessness." Simply laying blame and continuing to jail offenders, without understanding the reason for the behavior, is not the answer.
As for an adult who was unaware that his/her actions were wrong...I guess I would need an example. Generally, ignorance is not accepted (in society) as an excuse if you are an adult. And, again, it is not the same in the case of children. Children may "know" something is wrong (because they have been told), but that does not mean they understand WHY it is wrong. I "knew" lying was wrong from the time I was a little child, I didn't UNDERSTAND why until I was 12 or 13.
So, to sum up (lol). It is true that adults are not always in control of a situation, but I think they CAN be in control of themselves, meaning, that unless coerced with the threat of violence, they can choose to make the moral decision. Again, I think it is very hard for some people to make the right decision, because of the environment they grew up in, but they have the choice, nonetheless, and that must always be considered when judging their actions.

Answer 2

This is a great question, and for you to ask it, it shows that you're doing some "deep thinking".

I think you answer your own question with a word in the last sentence.

"Question is, how can people always use the "you're in control of you" excuse when things go wrong, when that is not always true?"

The word I am talking about is "excuse". It is simply an excuse.

It is often easier to blame what one does solely on that person, rather than find the reasons behind it.

I believe that people who use this kind of excuse can not or do not want to face the big picture.

The fact of the matter is that a lack of knowledge is usually the cause of the "you're in control of you excuse" AND ALSO the reason why people make mistakes.

Answer 3

I read your question. Thought about what you expected for a response. So this is what I think......Nothing can be said to you that is honest, and true until you are ready to except the fact that you ARE responsible for your every act. Anything contrary to that is a childish denial of reality. It should be for all of us a conscious effort every day to be good. That means to be responsible for your actions. In other words...would you be willing to accept praise for doing something good, and not accuse anyone for causing you to be that way? The fact is no-one can MAKE you do anything. Good or Bad at some point you choose one or the other. Stop transferring blame. Own up. It's the only way to grow and become a contributor to the things we all want and a guardian to the things we all don't want.

Answer 4

Nothing is absolute, but yes in general everyone is in control of their own circumstances and more so in how they respond to a situation, so if you drink alcohol or have sex or eat something you are responding to a situation, so you are in control of that, you are allowing yourself to loose control if you mind is telling you otherwise. Nothing is full proof. and there is always an EXCUSE for any situation we get ourselves into.

Answer 5

Yes most people are very quick to judge things like this and never thing twice about it... you did somthing bad, then your a bad person, they never ask why they did it... they obvously dont have the same mental reasoning skill as a nomral person.

Answer 6

your correct-butt

there is no room at the inn

Jesus came from a stable and it is now up to u to walk on water

u are thinking out side the box=get more & better books, too

don't not suffer guilt trip & exspect a gracious host and be one too